Various and Sundry Short Stories

MINNEAPOLIS HOT SPOTS
Even If they Are from the 1900s

Gluek's, Downtown Minneapolis

Glueks happens to be the first downtown bar I was ever in. Underage, for that matter. You can't imagine how difficult it is to get into downtown Minneapolis bars underage. I was very proud.

I had just attended a U2 concert for free. We got "working passes" from a flight attendant that had been flying with the band, so we weasled our way onto the floor to about the 12th row. They had a giant moving lemon for the finale. Weird.

Anyway, two of our party left early to go hang out on U2's plane (and ended up swiping some beer and wine in the process) and my remaining companion suggested we go to Glueks.

I will always count Glueks as one of my favorite bars, mainly for the staff/owners. Coolest people ever. I once had a lengthy conversation with one of the owners about Wilco's Outta Print Outta Site (which was playing).

Plus the building is rather historific.

And if you go, I highly recommend the Mediterranean Plate.

Tuggs, Southeast Minneapolis

This is Main Street in Southeast. Circa somewhere during the early 1900s. The building on the right is now home to Tuggs, which was one of my favorite places to go when I lived over in Southeast. We would often wander down there on cold winter weeknights.

The place would usually be dead except for the bartenders, so we would often spend the evening chatting with them. I remember one of them (my favorite) would always pull out a box of old cassette tapes and let us pick the music.

First Avenue / Seventh Street Entry, Downtown Minneapolis

Okay I cheated. The photo's from 1990. I couldn't find any earlier photos. I think the building was originally a bus depot and maybe a slaughterhouse.

I will point out that those stars on the side of the building were the names of different bands that had played there over the years. They were all pretty unique, often using the band's logo in the star.

They painted over all of them in the mid-90s. Then a few years later they repainted new ones, but I think it's cheating. The old stars were so much cooler.

I don't even know how many bands I've seen there, but man, that place is dangerous. Because they make strong drinks, people. Not Stand-up Frank's strong or anything, just don't befriend your bartender. Trust me.

I made that mistake once at a 3-hour Ryan Adams show. Which was rumored to have been the highest grossing revenue in beer and liquor sales during a single show.

My favorite Wilco moment was at First Ave. It was the day before Halloween and there were a lot of people in costume. Jeff brought up someone dressed as a Casino Queen. Finally the band left the stage, and then the announcer said, "Please welcome (insert record company here) recording artist Steely Dan!" Wilco came back out and launched into "Any Major Dude Will Tell You." Which was later released on the Me, Myself, and Irene soundtrack.

CC Club, Minneapolis

Or the CC Tap, as it apparently was originally called.

Classic place. Favorite haunt of The 'Mats back in the day. I think "Here Comes a Regular" is about the CC.

So, I have a theory about the CC Club. It's divided into the cool section and the uncool section. In the back there are two areas, one by the bathrooms and one by the pool table. Pool table section is cool, indie-cred section. I'm usually wrong when I theorize, frankly, but I feel good about this one.

I was always in the uncool section. Not brave enough to cross that hazy border into coolness. Until I started going there with a friend of mine who lived nearby and was a regular. So I got into the cool side.

So for one fleeting summer, I felt cool.

Which is rather sad, yeah?

Matt's, South Minneapolis

A favorite spot growing up. Alleged home of the Jucy Lucy, which is a burger with molten cheese in the middle. If you're not careful, you can burn the shit out of your fingers. Which I've done way too many times.

I include Matt's only because I grew up with it, and also because it was the traditional farewell lunch for co-workers who were leaving.

The Grill Guy is classic. One day we were there at lunch and he answered the phone: "Matt's, please hold." and threw the phone receiver into the buns.

It was still there when we left.

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