Quotes from Stargate SG-1
Season Nine
Teal'c: Where is the rest of your team, Colonel Mitchell?
Mitchell: Actually it's still kind of SG-Me.
Mitchell: Wow. Politics really does suck everywhere you go.
Teal'c: Indeed.
Mitchell after being turned down by the former SG-1: Well, Walter. Doesn't look like we're getting
the band back together.
O'Neill: You get well soon. And when you do, you can do anything you want... and I mean... professionally. Anything.
Well not... anything.
Vala to Mitchell: I know we haven't met. That, I'm sure I would remember.
Mitchell: Merlin. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table Merlin?
Jackson: Yes.
Mitchell: Was an ancient.
Jackson: I think so.
Mitchell to Teal'c: See! That is what I'm talking about!
Mitchell: Ladies first.
Vala to Jackson: Well then, after you.
Vala to Teal'c: Give it a try, Muscles. I'll give you half.
Vala: I haven't been this disappointed since I had sex with Daniel.
Jackson to Vala: I'm sure if there's a monster down here it'll be much more scared of you than you
are of it. Especially once it gets to know you.
Vala trying to reassure Jackson about Teal'c and Mitchell's fate: Look, I didn't hear any screaming
or squishing sounds, so...
Jackson: Isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the [?]. So we can meet new races,
gather advanced technology, possibly learn about ourselves in the process.
Vala: Oh c'mon. You do it to meet women.
Mitchell: She has a point, sir.
Vala: I've got tingles all over. And don't flatter yourself. I'm pretty sure it's not you.
Jackson: I wouldn't say this to anyone else, but for the first time, I'm scared.
O'Neill: I'm hungry.
Mitchell: Well I suppose after you save the world 7 or 8 times...
O'Neill: Who's counting.
Mitchell: Teal'c actually. He mentions it all the time.
Mitchell: This is great. We got the band back together!
Carter about Vala: So what's with the extra back-up singer?
Jackson: Just try to be—
Vala: What? My charming self?
Jackson: A little less talk, a little more shut the hell up.
Mitchell after Daniel's rather brief speech to the Prior: That's it? Daniel nods. I just gave
him 30 minutes.
Lord Haikon: How will we know when it is working?
Mitchell: We'll know when the Prior is no longer able to use his powers.
Jolan: How will we know when he will be no longer able to use his powers?
Mitchell: Well. Someone is just going to have to test it and find out.
Silence all around.
Mitchell: Don't worry, fellas. That someone is me.
Mitchell: Symptoms may include: dizziness, irritability—
Jackson: Nausea—
Mitchell: Mild nausea. And a condition known as "hot dog fingers."
Mitchell: General! We were just exchanging recipes.
General Landry: I heard. Has he offered up anything?
Mitchell: No sir. The man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.
Landry: What was he saying?
Orlin: He just told you why the Ori are on the way to this galaxy. They're coming to destroy the ancients.
Teal'c: Why are you hesitating, Gerak?
Gerak: If I help you, I will die. But I will die free!
Mitchell:So, do you... live here on your own?
Dr. Reya Varrick: Why do you ask?
Mitchell: It's a big place. I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
Dr. Reya Varrick: I thought that was your clever way of asking if I was married.
Mitchell: I'm not that clever.
Landry: I read your report. Not sure I've seen language like that used in an official Air Force document before.
Jackson: Sorry about that, sir.
Landry: You should see what Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson wrote.
Mitchell: So you're saying that somewhere, in an alternate universe, I got to second base with Amy Vanderberg?
Carter: Theoretically, yes.
Mitchell: Boggles the mind, don't it!
Carter: As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise
window. Specifically the interim journey between the two gates.
Mitchell: Did she just say "we"?
Carter: Pardon me?
Jackson: She said "we". You said "we"?
Carter: Ah, me and... myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Mitchell: Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?
Carter: Yep.
Mitchell: What if there are more teams coming in hot, Sir?
Landry: I'm willing to make the occasional exception, but I am not about to turn this base into the Grand Central Station
of the Multiverse.
Mitchell: You know, I've read mission reports on the Asgard, they're not what I was expecting.
Carter: What were you expecting?
Mitchell: I don't know... pants for one.
Black Uniform Jackson: Wouldn't it have been easier just to zat him?
Black Uniform Teal'c: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Black Uniform Mitchell: Did he just insult me?
Mitchell hitting the vending machine: Sorry Doc, you were wrong. Hitting it doesn't help.
Landry: Teal'c is family. I don't like people screwing with my family.
Nadal about the power loss: Your people have done this.
Jackson: I hope so.
Mitchell: Seriously. What are we doing here?
Jackson: Honest answer? PR for the Stargate program.
Mitchell: I'm telling you, today it's escorting foreign delegates on off-world tours, tomorrow it's comic book conventions and supermarkets.
Carter: They must be using their echo location to locate their prey.
Jackson: Us. She means us.
Mitchell: I think we're good to go.
Teal'c: Perhaps we should keep any unnecessary conversation to a minimum.
Mitchell: Okay.
Mitchell: Boy am I getting that Patrick Swayze in Ghost feeling. General, we need a Whoopi.
Mitchell: Roast beef. The one time I can't eat and they serve roast beef.
Teal'c takes a swing at Mitchell
Mitchell: Hey, did you even think twice about that?
Teal'c: I did not.
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