Quotes from Stargate SG-1

Season Ten

Colonel Emerson: Why would the first wave just leave us behind? They had to know there were survivors.
Mitchell: They need witnesses. Their goal is not to kill us all, it's to convert us. Their wish is to go forth and tell everybody how they kicked our asses.

Carter hanging out in open space: I don't know what you can see from your vantage point or what your sensors are picking up, but from out here that mothership is pretty badly damaged. I would be surprised if they were weapons capable.
Emerson: Thanks Sam.
Mitchell: They haven't fired yet.

Carter: If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, it won't work.
Mitchell: Hang on, Sam. We're coming to get you.
Carter: Aw boy.

Vala: Are you actually going to stop growing at some point?

Vala: You know, I never thought I'd agree with my father but now I'm starting to remember about how he used to go about, you nurture them, and you raise them, and you teach them the best that you can, and then all they do is break your heart. I always assumed that his experience was just tainted by me.
Jackson: What are you talking about?
Vala: Wow. She started off all sweet and innocent and now she's hellbent on domination of the galaxy.
Jackson: What? How old is she?
Vala: A few hours. The Ori used me to sneak one of their own over the border.

Jackson: This is bad.
Vala: You're telling me. Origin is about to become much more appealing to the males of this galaxy.

Mitchell: Hey, I'm all about a noble death. A pointless noble death on the other hand...

Bra'tac is attempting to fly the ship into the Ori
Mitchell: Teal'c, this is crazy and not the good kind of crazy. You know that.

Vala is off to use Jackson's computer to study for her psych test
Jackson: I said no. And you can't access it without my password!
Vala: Already got it, thanks!

Landry: You can't cram for a psychiatric evaluation.
Vala: That's what they want you to think.

Teal'c suddenly stops
Mitchell: What is it?
Teal'c: Birds.
Carter: What birds?
Teal'c: My point exactly.

Dr. Hutchinson: Vala. I'm Dr. Hutchinson. Have a seat. So, how are you feeling?
Vala: Very well. Very well. Well you know all things considered. I mean you'd assume I'd be a prime candidate for aculturation difficulty, enduring feelings of displacement and alienation. Perhaps even a little paranoid ideation. The truth is I was able to adopt an abstract attitude, which allowed me to release some of my repressed feelings, ultimately providing me with a cathartic actualization. How are you feeling?

About Vala taking the lie detector test
Hutchinson: Try to relax. an aside You're looking very nice today.
Vala: Oh. Thank you. You're looking rather dashing yourself.
Hutchinson: Thanks. realizes the detector is signaling a false answer. So does Vala.
Vala: I mean, nice. no change I mean, not objectionable.

Woolsey: I'm assuming things didn't go well.
Vala: I fail to see the point of that ridiculous exercise. Unless it's purpose was to thoroughly humiliate me. Those questions weren't intended to shed light on my character or delve deeply into my subconscience. They were merely little reminders as to exactly why I don't belong here.
Woolsey: Then I take it you've carefully considered our offer and come to a decision.
Vala: I have.

Mitchell: Yeah, I was getting worked up, cussing at Teal'c, telling him to "go home. Leave me." It must have been 20 minutes that I realized he had gone home and I was sittin' there talking to myself.

Vala: As my first official act I'd like to report a rather disagreeable little man.
Woolsey: That'd be me.
Landry: Mr. Woolsey's offer was part of the test. We wanted to make sure we could trust you.
Vala: I knew that. But were his sexual advances part of the test?
Woolsey: What? That's a— General, I can assure you—
Vala: Well, I would have even considered playing along, but some of his requests were, well, a little unusual. Even for me.

Vala about a sleeping Jackson: Funny, he doesn't look excited.
Mitchell: Trust me. Like a kid who was up all night on Christmas Eve.
Vala: I thought we imposed a moratorium on cultural references I didn't understand.

Mitchell: I gotta tell you, Sheppard, this is a nice place you got around here.
John Sheppard: Thanks, we just painted. Well good luck. And if McKay gives you a hard time just—
Mitchell: Shoot him.
Sheppard: Also, he's mortally allergic to citrus.
Mitchell: Really?
Sheppard: I keep one with me at all times. Just a comfort to know it's there.

Jackson: You chose your words very carefully when you said the first "human" to set foot in the city. What about ascended beings? silence from the Archives You're not really a hologram, are you?
The Archive: You have your answer, Daniel Jackson. I suggest you act on it.

Teal'c: Odyssey, this is Teal'c.
Mitchell: Teal'c, I thought we told you to get the hell out of there.
Teal'c: If I had done so I would be unable to inform you that the jump was successful. The Supergate is now active.
Mitchell: Are you serious?
Teal'c: There is more, Colonel Mitchell. I was able to keep the Stargate concealed until the last moment and lured the Ori vessel into the unstable vortex of the Supergate when the jump occurred.
Carter: You mean we just blew up an Ori ship?
McKay: By destroying a Wraith ship.
Teal'c: Indeed we did.

Ba'al: At last. The welcoming committee.

Mitchell: What the hell are you doing?
Vala: I alerted the Jaffa patrol to our presence.
Mitchell: Obviously. Do you mind if I ask why?
Vala: So they'd sound the alarm. And send reinforcements.
Mitchell: Oh well that's, that's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?
Vala standing in the rings: My dear Colonel, where do you think the reinforcements will come from?

Landry: Checkmate.
Mitchell: Yup. Too good for me, sir.
Landry: Pandering to the ego of a senior officer, Mitchell?
Mitchell: No. Truthfully I always hated the game. If you happen to have a Playstation I will happily kick your ass at Socom 3.

Mitchell: Maybe I'm not the only one around here who needs to relax.
Landry: I'll try not to shoot you before morning.
Mitchell: Thank you, sir.

200th Episode Quotes to Come

Jackson: You're making a big mistake. More Ori ships will be here soon.
Jaffa: Then they will suffer the same fate.
Adria offscreen: I think not. uses telekinetic powers to strangle the Jaffa
Vala: Adria?
Adria: Hello, Mother.

Vala: Listen, we're not rejoining the fleet. You're coming with me.
Adria: No. I can't abandon my army.
Vala: It's not your army.
Adria: Of course it is.
Vala: Well as your mother I'm putting my foot down. You're too young to have an army.

Mitchell to Teal'c: You don't think that whoever's flying this boat is on a friendly trip, do you? no reaction No, me neither.

Bra'tac: She displays the wisdom of a battle-seasoned warrior.
Jackson: She's a mother. Close enough.

Jackson: Dinner tonight is my way of saying thank you. Thank you for proving me right when I said we could take a chance on you.
Vala: I don't know what to say.
Jackson: Just say what you were going to say before I interrupted.
Vala: Okay. I need to use the bathroom.

Trust Minion: How are you feeling?
Vala: A little dizzy. A little tired. And very very angry.
Trust Minion: That's because the flashbacks you're experiencing are dredging up some long-buried emotions that are coloring your subconscious mind.
Vala: I'm going to kill both of you in the most painful way possible.

Carter: A member of this facility gets kidnapped unchallenged. It's no wonder he doesn't think we can protect him.
Jackson: But we can protect him.
Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Mitchell: What can you say, that's the downside working for super villains.

The team breaks down the motel door to find Mitchell handcuffed, naked and surrounded by junk food wrappers
Mitchell: This, ah, isn't what it looks like.

Mitchell: What?
Carter: Nothing. I just find it funny how you're always losing your pants.

Vala: What's this?
Landry: Let's just call it a Welcome Back present.
Vala: These are—
Landry: Team badges. You're now officially a member of SG-1.
Carter: Congratulations. You earned it.

Mitchell: Yep. She's a real beauty.
Vala: Stabilizers are a bit wonky, I'm afraid. Makes for a bumpy ride. But it's all perfectly safe.
Mitchell: Really?
Vala: Not exactly.
Jackson: We gave you as much raw naquadah as you needed and all you came up with was this piece of junk?
Vala: People's lives are at stake, Daniel. Do you honestly think that I cheaped out on the ship and pocketed the difference? an alarm goes off
Mitchell: What's that?
Vala: Life support seems to be failing. to Teal'c Can you take over? changes crystals and the alarm stops
Mitchell: Great, you fixed that. How about fixing the stabilizers?
Vala: Oh, I didn't fix anything. I just disabled that annoying alarm.

Vala: The key is to be as inconspicuous and non-threatening as possible. If you like I could take Daniel.

Jackson: We should probably prepare to return fire.
Officer: For the record, I'm always prepared. I just have to press this button here.
Jackson: Right. I just, I thought that's what you're supposed to say.
Officer: I know.

Villager: I should warn you. No one has ever returned from the quest alive. If you value your lives, you would do well to reconsider.
Mitchell: We appreciate that, but that is quitter talk.

Mitchell: Look, I know you have no reason to trust us anymore than you do those guys—
Barmaid: I have not seen you shoot anyone.
Mitchell: That's an excellent point. We're gonna need your help.

Mitchell: You should come with us.
Barmaid: My place is here. I'll be fine. Mitchell hesitates. I'll blame everything on you.
Mitchell: Good plan.

Carter: You've had the alien database for months. Why did it take you so long to get here?
Ba'al: I can't think clearly on an empty stomach.

Osrick: This is it! The cave entrance. The Sangraal is located within.
Mitchell: It's too bad you won't be coming with us.
Ba'al: I thought I made it clear: you need me.
Mitchell: I wasn't talking to you.
Ba'al: Oh. Well, ah, allow me to get out of your line of fire.

Adria: Taking your life would be a waste of my time.
Ba'al: Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining.
Carter: Ugh. Geez, why don't you two just get a room.

Vala to Teal'c: Well, after you, Muscles.

Jackson to Adria: Well I guess I'm not as true of spirit as you thought I was.

Mitchell about the dragon's name: So what are we supposed to do, just start guessing?
Vala: Darryl the dragon.
Mitchell: How 'bout Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff.

About the Sangraal
Mitchell: It's the real thing this time, right?
Jackson: I don't see why not.
It's still a hologram
Carter: Oh come on!

Merlin: Through all these eons only one thing stayed the same: there is never enough time.

Ba'al: Merlin’s little trick with my vocal cords expired when he did.
Teal'c: Yet another reason to mourn his passing.

Ba'al: I know where you come from you're considered relatively intelligent, but by galactic standards that's not really saying much. Wouldn't you agree? Carter punches him.
Carter: You know, if you're not going to help you're really not much use to us, and if you're not much use to us then there's really no point in keeping you alive any longer. Wouldn't you agree?
Ba'al: I'd, ah, be delighted to help.
Carter: Great to hear.

Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat if you catch my meaning.

Prior: And what of the village?
Adria: Have they agreed to accept the teachings of Origin?
Prior: No.
Adria: Then burn it.

Merlin: Through all these eons only one thing stayed the same: there is never enough time.

Ba'al: Merlin’s little trick with my vocal cords expired when he did.
Teal'c: Yet another reason to mourn his passing.

Vala: Merlin's gone.
Mitchell: Well that's just ... weird.

Ba'al: I know where you come from you're considered relatively intelligent, but by galactic standards that's not really saying much. Wouldn't you agree? Carter punches him.
Carter: You know, if you're not going to help you're really not much use to us, and if you're not much use to us then there's really no point in keeping you alive any longer. Wouldn't you agree?
Ba'al: I'd, ah, be delighted to help.
Carter: Great to hear.

Mitchell: Listen up, folks. We're gonna try a little disappearing act here. Please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the village at all times until we come to a complete and final stop. Blank stares work, too.

Teal'c: Colonel Mitchell, do you read?
Mitchell: Loud and clear, Teal'c. What's up?
Teal'c: Our time.

Ori Soldier: How did that building disappear?
Vala: Perhaps it was the will of the gods.

Mitchell: Score one for science.

Mitchell to Siler: They cancelled it? Really? I didn't even know a new season had started.

Jacek: Sweetheart! How is life treating you?
Vala: Certainly better than you ever did.

Teal'c: Can I give you some advice?
Jacek: Any input is appreciated.
Teal'c: Three words: be less annoying.

Jacek: I've got tickets to this "Virginia Dialogues" show.

Vala: So where are the boys tonight?
Carter: Cameron has a date, Daniel is exhausted. And Teal'c got tickets to some show...

Vala: I did not expect to see you again.
Adria: I had to return, mother. My work here is unfinished.
Gambler: Who is this?
Vala: You really don't want to know.

Adria: You can return with me to my ship and take up your rightful place as the mother of the Orisi.
Vala: Adria, stop it. I may have given birth to you but we are not family. So stop pretending.

Mitchell to Adria: You didn't really think we'd invite you to a party and not disable your funky powers, did you?

Vala: Hello Gorgeous! If you're watching this you're obviosly back at Stargate Command. And you're probably thinking everyone around you has gone wonko. With the exception of Daniel who we've always thought was a little—
Jackson off screen: Vala!

Vala: So no IOA... No television program about dancing with supposed celebrities?
Jackson: Actually that part was real.
Vala: How very disturbing.
Jackson: Mm hm.
Carter: Yeah.

Ba'al to Adria: You're so much more pleasant when you lack the ability to snap my neck with your thoughts.

Mitchell: What do we do now?
Teal'c: Kill them both.
Mitchell: It's hard to argue with that logic. It's a two-fer.

Adria: I need time to prepare.
Vala: Prepare for what?
Adria: Ascension.

Landry: At least we can take comfort in the knowledge that Ba'al is dead.
Mitchell: Wouldn't put a deposit down on that.

UNENDING

Vala: Being stuck on this ship is worse than being stuck at SGC. I tell you last time I was this bored I took prisoners.
Jackson: I was there.

Mitchell: I said it before, I am for fighting to the death. But only if we have a plan. Preferrably one that avoids the "death" part.

Vala to Jackson: I'm gonna go crazy. And I'm taking you with me.

Vala: I'm hearing things all the time. Are you hearing things?
Jackson: I am trying not to.

Mitchell: This is the Love Boat without the buffet and the band.

Mitchell: When I said that I wanted to get the team back together—work with you guys, learn from ya—I did not mean the next 50 years.
Carter: You said that yesterday.

Vala: 50 or 60 years? Something interesting must have happened. Obviously I hooked up with someone. Was it you, Muscles?

Landry: Good luck, SG-1.
Mitchell: Just another mission to save the galaxy, sir.
Everyone: Indeed.
Landry: God speed.

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