QUOTES from X-Files

Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson)

Man: Are you familiar with an agent named Fox Mulder?
Scully: Yes, I am.
Man: How so?
Scully: By reputation. He's an Oxford-educated psychologist, who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult that helped catch Monty Props in 1988. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section... He had a nickname at the academy... Spooky Mulder.

Mulder: Whatever tape you found in the VCR, it isn't mine.
Scully: Good. Because I put it back in the drawer with all the other tapes that aren't yours.

Mulder: Modell put the whammy on him.
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.

Jose Chung: Alex Trebek? The game show host?
Scully: Mulder didn't say that it was Alex Trebek. It was just someone that looked incredibly like him.
Jose Chung: Did he? I mean, you were there.
Scully: Well, not exactly. I don't have any recollection of this. I was surprised to wake up the next morning to find Mulder asleep in my room.
Jose Chung: Oh!

Scully: Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction, was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly-veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Mulder: Do you know where she is?
Scully: In a mental institution.
Mulder: I'd go with you, but I'm afraid they'd lock me up.
Scully: Me too.

Glaser: If we become blinded by the beauty of nature we may fail to see its cruelty and violence.
Dana Scully: Walt Whitman?
Glaser: No, "When Animals Attack." On the FOX Network.

Mulder: This is all wrong, Scully. This is not how the story is supposed to end.
Scully: What do you mean?
Mulder: Dr. Frankenstein pays for his evil ambitions, yes. But the monster's supposed to escape to go search for his bride.
Scully: There's not going to be any bride, Mulder. Not in this story.
Mulder: Well, where's the writer? I want to speak to the writer.

Scully's flashing back to the case facts
Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: dazed Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can ya dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mutha— Shut yo' mouth! I'm talkin' bout Shaft!
Mulder: over I did not!

Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Will you stop that!
Scully: It couldn't hurt.
Mulder: Stop it!
Skinner: Scully? Mulder?
Mulder: I was drugged!

Scully: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.
Morris (as Mulder): yelling out the window Take a picture. It'll last longer.
Mulder (as Morris) through clenched teeth: If I ... shoot him is that murder or suicide?
Scully: Neither, if I do it first.

Scully: Mulder... None of that really happened out there tonight. That was all in our heads, right?
Mulder: It must have been.
Scully: Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.
Mulder: When have you proved me wrong?

Upon seeing a body in two pieces.
Dana Scully: So, should we arrest David Copperfield?
Fox Mulder: Yes. But not for this.

Scully: Spontaneous Human Combustion.
Mulder: in disbelief Scully!
Scully: Well isn't that where you're going with this?
Mulder: "Dear Diary, today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested Spontaneous Human Combustion".
Scully: Mulder, there are one or two somewhat well-documented cases.
Mulder nods
Scully: Mulder, shut up.

Scully: Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Mulder: Well I won't sit idly by while you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.
Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Scully: Eat, sleep, and be merry for tomorrow we die.
Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.

Scully: Agent Mulder, can we have a word for a second?
Mulder: Excuse me. What is it?
Scully: What is it? Mulder, have you noticed that we're on television?
Mulder: I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*.

Scully: We had this wacky nun in Catholic school—Sister Callahan—we used to call her Sister Spooky because she would tell us scary stories all the time.
Mulder: Twisted sister. My kind of nun.
Scully: Well she would hold up an old piece of wood with a rusty nail in it, and she would say, "This is an actual piece of the cross that Christ's wrist was nailed to." Or she'd show us a vial of red liquid and say that it was John the Baptist's blood or something.
Mulder: She'd be in prison today. You realize that.

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