If anyone asks, I was never here, okay? I'm supposed to be editing video right now.

Someone ordered a planetclaire t-shirt. Along with an OC shirt. Something about that makes me insanely happy.

And helps me pay rent at the same time.

Heh. Anyway, dreary weekend this. Nothing but rain. When I was a kid I hated the rain and would run from vehicle to building frantically trying to avoid getting wet. At some point in my life I realized, fuck it, it's rain. I get wet, I get wet.

I got a phone call from my cousin today around 10 AM. Which seemed odd. Turns out Gardner Hardware was declared Best Hardware Store in City Page's Best of 2006. How awesome is that?

Except now I should really update the website. D'oh.

Sounds like the Anvil Drop is slated for mid-August. I think he said like the 13th or 14th.

There's nothing like dropping anvils on cars.

Except dropping watermelons on cars.

Oz tally from tonight's The Bedford Diaries: Claire and Busmalis! Woo hoo!

I feel like it's The Jury tally all over again. I miss that.

I hope Kristin Rohde shows up more. I like her.

My upstairs neighbor, someone I always thought was relatively cooler than me, is rockin' out to some Sheryl Crow.

I guess I'm not a very good judge of character.

I had a crappy day. Punctuated intermittently by more crappiness. I scrambled all day to get out of work on time, only to leave over an hour late.

Just in time to watch a squirrel get run over.

Now admittedly the squirrel—and a lot of other people—had a much worse day than I, but that just sucked.

Happy Earth Day.

I went to my grocery store and it was all about Earth Day. There were like 20 food sample stations set up with organic food. And this is not a large store.

One of the things that always weirds me out there is they have little stations with, say, chips and dip for you to try. Which is very nice, but no one is manning the station. Unattended food scares me.

Would you try that? Would you trust that? It just seems like an outbreak of something waiting to happen.

Oh lord. I'm so supposed to be working right now. And I so don't want to.

You know what? I'm not fucking working today. Screw my boss. Which is... me.

I am in a highly grumpy mood today. I don't know why, exactly. I'm usually relatively easy-going on weekends.

So this is a totally honest question. I'm not being rude or judgemental or anything I usually thrive on. What is the appeal of NASCAR racing? To me it's as interesting as golf. Is it the element of danger that keeps people riveted to the screen? Because cars going around and around seems intensely boring.

Whatever it is, Cops isn't on tonight because of it. Dammit.

In the category of "You Never Know Who You Might Pass on the Street": Today I made a couple copies for an older gentleman.

A lot of the older folks who come into the shop refuse to attempt to use the self-serve copier and I've learned it's just easier to do it for them.

And I have no idea how it came up, but he told me he was on the USS Nevada during Pearl Harbor.

Woah.

You don't tell a history major something like that without providing more details.

For those playing along, the USS Nevada was the only battleship at Pearl Harbor able to attempt a sortie during the attack. It almost got out of the harbor, but the decision was made to run it into the mud because of reported enemy submarines just outside of the harbor. Which was completely the right decision.

My new best friend had been heading to breakfast when the attack started and it sounded like he was stationed on the bridge during. He mentioned making a decision to go one way while others with him went the opposite. They died, he lived.

If I had the time and wasn't on the clock I think I could have talked to him for hours. As it was, my brain was going eighteen different ways with questions.

I'm useless in surprise situations. Hours later I'm brilliant at coming up with questions.

He did reassure me that he eventually got breakfast at a nearby hotel.

Driving home from work today I turned my head quickly and saw a headless guy riding a bike.

Which freaked me the hell out until I realized it was a short guy riding a bike with his head under his jacket to keep out the rain.

But for a split second all known reality was flung out the window.

It was awesome.

In the interest of complete honesty here at planetclaire, I will admit that brunch was mighty tasty and moms kindly picked up the tab. Last year we started doing Easter brunch at a local pasta bar and their version of brunch is nothing like what I grew up with. I've eaten enough heat lamp-fried eggs benedict for two lifetimes.

Unexpected surprise guest: a cousin of mine from New York. Big shot lawyer boy made it home for Easter. And I say that with nothing but love. He and his brother are awesome.

Even though they used to terrorize me.

Which both of them conveniently don't remember.

Is it weird that Seacrest keeps joking about Simon being drunk? It's gotta be some nod to Paula being on something or other. I just can't figure out if it's a scripted thing or if he's being not-so-subtly cruel about her.

I should really be asking why it is I care about this. Because... yeah.

From Veronica Mars tonight:

Fitzpatrick: You might want to watch your back.
Weevil: Why? You'll be watching it for me.

Which is somewhat clever, but this is so much funnier on so many levels:

From Oz:

Adebisi: Better watch that pretty little ass.
Ryan: No need. You're too busy watching it for me.

I was uploading a file and grabbed a pen next to me and started running it up and down my leg aimlessly. Which would have been a non-story if I had noticed the pen was clicked on.

Now I have blue pen lines running up and down my leg.

In other news: Hope everyone's filed their taxes.

I haven't. I ran out of time—which means I was lazy about getting my shit together—and filed an extension. Er, had someone else file an extension for me.

I should probably check on that.

Is it wrong that I would love nothing more than to bail on this weekend's family event citing a complete and utter lack of religious fervor?

Especially since it's a brunch. I hate brunch.

Brunch is only worth its high pricetag for people that like to eat seven or eight plates of food in one setting. Food that's been sitting out for hours, picked over by countless others.

Okay, writing this is just making me grumpier about going. I might as well get to work and create the funds to pay for the brunch. At least that's pretty easy to take care of.

The Loop, while doomed, might be growing on me. Not sure if it's like a fungus or not.

After Adam Brody showed up in a guest spot (that I don't think was widely advertised) they played Sunday's Best's Indian Summer.

I hadn't heard it in ages:

I can't believe he's such a sore loser
Maybe someday you'll learn that coffee is for closers
Raise up the glass and toast the motherfucker
Just move along.

Any band that has a lyric like "raise up the glass and toast the motherfucker" has my heart. Heathrow and I used to belt out that line when the song came on.

Or maybe it was just me.

So I went outside tonight and the air smelled like...

Okay, it reminded me of a bad combination of a multitude of Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

Remember those? They all smelled like whatever they were named after.

I had a friend when I was a kid who had every single one of them lined up around her bed. And the fake fruit smell of all the dolls combined was just... weirdly artificially nasty.

And that's what it smells like outside. Fake scratch-n-sniff fruit.

I was driving home and just a few blocks away from my place when I turned the corner and there's this wannabe Tony Hawk lamely skateboarding down the middle of the street. So I figured, you stay in the middle, I don't have a problem. Instead, when I was about six feet away from him he veered directly in front of my car. So I honked, thinking he just didn't know I was there.

The fucker turned around and gave me the finger.

See, that's my mistake. Usually when people try to be a badass and hold up traffic, I speed up. The one time I give someone the benefit of the doubt..

Next time, skater pancake.

I've had some really bizarre snippets of life lately that just don't translate well into words. The three pages worth of backstory leading up to the punchline bore the hell out of even me. And I usually think I'm pretty damn funny.

It cracked me up that hours after realizing that, I got an email from a client whose blog I designed that was laughing about how her hilarious thoughts for an entry at 2 AM are never funny in the light of day.

True dat.

I'm not working tonight.

Okay, I am, but later.

It was a weird day today. After my boss thought I had quit yesterday when I was ten minutes later than my usually ten minutes late, I thought I'd call her this morning and let her know I was, again, running late.

Which I did. And she laughed and said she initially thought I was calling to quit.

She's pretty paranoid.

Although I think this job has made a lot of people run screaming out the door never to return. After only three hours in one case. So I suppose it makes sense.

Still.

I'm calling shenanigans on the SciFi channel advertising. I am now thoroughly convinced that they flash a nano-second screen of an ad in between ads. Which is a cheap method of advertising, yeah? But also seems to be a modified version of subliminal messages.

I suppose it's not like it's hidden. I mean although I first noticed it when I was slo-moing something accidentally, now it smacks of obvious even when I'm just watching the channel.

Is this an accepted and known practice? Does it actually work? I can't believe it would. It seems like the brief flash is too short to make an impact, but too long so that people notice the obvious, albeit short, commercial.

Either way, it's annoying me.

Although it means I'll have to start—

Fuck. Okay, humor me with my mid-sentence tangent.

Oz shout out from Bedford Diaries:

Prof: Last week we discussed the definition of sexual misconduct. This week let's talk about responsibility. Whoever you had for sixth grade health— Ms. Franklin, Sister Peter Marie...

Heh.

Anyway, since CSAs are mainly veggies, I guess I'll need to cook more. The nice part is the drop-off point nearest me is a block and a half away.

I'm just worried that I'll have food going bad every week. What do I do with soybeans?

Anyone need some soybeans?

Oh, and as a follow-up, my friend tracked down what "River Boat Style" actually is. It's not that interesting.

And if you're looking for the answer, he found the definition on the network's forums.

But seriously, it's kind of a letdown.

I hate daylight savings. It's never a smooth transition and I end up grumpy for like a week.

Okay, not really. But it's still annoying. And I'm tired.

I spent the evening editing video footage of a forum on voting in MN. Now I'm spending the afternoon saving video clips of it. It's never a dull moment on planet claire!

If I hear the secretary of state say "open source" one more time I'm gonna lose it. I'm tempted to edit together a video montage of it.

Open Source! Open Source! Source Code! Source Code!

At least I finally get the Flavor of Love reunion show. Which better deliver after the dull finale.

Clean slate. Hey, Slate. Hm. I'll be right back.

Okay, this is from Uncle Tupelo's last show:

Slate : Mississippi Nights (05.01.94)
I love that song. All of Anodyne is a beautiful album, though. And I finally lived up to my word and uploaded The Last Truck Stop on Earth for someone, so I should post a few Coffee Creek covers:

Good Year for the Roses : The Last Truck Stop on Earth 2
Wasn't Born to Follow : The Last Truck Stop on Earth 2

You know it's kind of funny that I persist with Storybook and/or Music Friday and/or Saturday. I think most rant readers have different tastes in music than me. But I'm a stubborn bitch. And I like typing Storybook and/or Music Friday and/or Saturday.

Moving on.

I got an email today from a counterpart at another shop and his signature included something like "Does anyone know
what a 'River Boat style' HJ is?".

After briefly thinking it had something to do with hyphenation & justification, I remembered that HJ has another—less seemly—meaning.

I laughed and emailed him back with "I can't believe you watched The Loop."

I have to work all day today. I'd rather go back to bed. But unfortunately circumstances prevail that give me no choice.

Go do something fun for me today.