I have the plague. It sucks. Despite my best efforts not to contract it from my ailing roommate, I am ill. And grumpy.

On that note. Random story:

Over the years, the most consistent typo I've found in typesetting Bibles is that the word plague often is misspelled plaque. It makes me giggle reading about bad hygiene befalling the Israelites.

Seriously, I think I've found that misspelling around a dozen times.

Say it with me, folks: We're number one! We're number one!

To update the Secret War of the Claires: planetclaire.org is currently resting in the number one slot. Sweet! In your face, .com!

Ironically enough, what turned the tide was me writing about the Secret War of the Claires. Bwahahaha!

Better late than never. I hereby present February's installment of:

TOP FIVE REALLY FREAKY SEARCH STRINGS
INTO PLANETCLAIRE.ORG

Title needs work. Ahem:

1. abmany [Why does this pop up EVERY month? argh!]
2. ryan o'reily lord of the dance quote [Heh.]
3. carlos the dwarf [From Freaks and Geeks.]
4. quotes by punkers [I have in sum total one quote on punkers. Sorry.]
5. fidel castro boat monument grandma [?]

Runners up:

al jolson a wife beater [Woah. I ain't accusing anybody of anything.]
dino's gyros nutrition [does it really matter? the food's too good.]
black istory quotes [Not even close. I think they went to the Monty Python page. Get sidetracked?]

One post this snowy Friday since I don't do anything online on the weekends. A story for y'all:

It's Friday afternoon and Heathrow and I are mentally willing 6:00 to come. Now we have this tradition: every time we get some random spam offering Viagra or cheap prescriptions or the like, we politely inquire if the other is in need of said product before pitching the email. You know, just in case. Hey we're polite like that. Anyway, it's become a bit of a habit, but it's most likely funny only to us.

So today I get a phone call from a client and we're talking. Said client has to leave the room to get a fax or something. And it sounds like he put me on hold. So I check email and, sure enough, spam. I immediately ask Heathrow: "Do you need any Viagra?" Heathrow replies that she does not. Short silence.

Then I hear, "Did you just ask me if I needed Viagra?"

The client.

I turn twenty shades of red and start babbling and trying to offer up an adequate explanation of why I was offering viagra. Meanwhile, Heathrow's next to me just laughing her ass off listening to me try to extricate myself from the comment.

Good times, people. Good times.

Well the glory days are over. Whereas I used to be number 3 in the Google search for The OC quotes (thereby garnering me upwards of 200 visitors a day) I am now nowhere to be found.

I'll admit it, I'm a little hurt.