Julie: Keep that grimey paw away from me. Unless you wanna see what ten years of cardiobar can do to your face.

Kirsten: Well whatever happens, you have at least one proud mother watching you when you graduate.
Ryan: Thanks.

Teacher: You do an impression of me, Mr. Cohen?
Seth: Ah. No, no, I don't do any impressions. I don't, um, use props, I don't like jokes in general.
Teacher: Well, why don't you work on some one-liners in Dr. Kim's office.

Julie: Listen up, Tommy Lee. You're just the latest in a series of experiments my daughter likes to make when acting out. So enjoy it. Because right here, right now is as good as it gets for you. Soon Marissa's gonna wake up and realize she is so much better than you and your life.
Volchok: You think she's gonna come running back to you.
Julie: Marissa knows that I will be there for her whenever she decides to come home because I am her family. Not some punk with a smirk, three brain cells, and a good coke connection. You tell her that.

Dawn: You don't have to lie to me, Ryan. And you don't have to worry about me embarassing you at your graduation.
Ryan: Mom—
Dawn: You know what, I may not have been the best mother in the world, but I have never been ashamed of my family.

Chloe: I'm sorry.
Ryan: It's okay. Your little family intervention seems to have worked.
Chloe: Oh. Then I'm not sorry. For anything that may have happened.
Ryan: Me neither.

Seth: Gonna be a long night, Ryan. A lot of whining, a lot of pining, ah, maybe some brainstorming, you don't mind?
Ryan: It's good to be home. Alright, how are we going to get your Summer back?
Seth: Plan A: I fake my own death. You never wanna underestimate the power of the sympathy vote.
Ryan: Is there a plan B?
Seth: Yeah yeah. Uh, I could hack in through the Brown firewall into the Admission's office mainframe and reverse my acceptance.
Ryan: That's actually a good idea. You know how to do that?
Seth: I had an uncle that went to DeVry.