Major Samuels: Colonel Jack O'Neill?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Retired.
Samuels: I'm Major Samuels.
O'Neill: Air Force?
Samuels: Yes sir. I'm the General's executive officer.
O'Neill: Want a little piece of advice, Major. Get reass'd to NASA. That's where all the action's going to be. Out there.
Samuels: I'm under orders to bring you to General Hammond, sir.
O'Neill: Never heard of him.
Samuels: He replaced General West. He says it's important. It has to do with the Stargate.

Carter: So you're saying Ra's not the last of his race after all.
Kawalsky: Maybe he's got a brother Ray.
O'Neill: That's what we need.

General Hammond: Major Kawalsky, you will head SG-2.
Kawalsky: I will?
General Hammond: Colonel O'Neill keeps telling me it's about time you had a command.
O'Neill: I had a moment of weakness.

Samuels: I kind of wish I was going with you.
Kawalsky: I'm kind of glad you're staying behind.

O'Neill: Hold down the fort.
Kawalsky: Pick me up a t-shirt.

O'Neill: Listen, um, I gotta ask you something. It's not easy for me.
Kawalsky weakly: We're friends.
O'Neill: If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?

Kennedy: These slaves, where do they come from?
Teal'c: There is a tale of a primitive world the Goa'uld discovered Millennia ago. The Tau'ri. First world where forms of this type evolved. It is said the Goa'uld harvested among the primitives. Some became Goa'uld hosts, others became Jaffa. The rest were taken as slaves and seeded among the stars to serve them. That world has been lost for centuries.
Kennedy: Teal'c, beings of this form evolved here on Earth.
Teal'c: This world—
O'Neill: —is the world you're talking about. Ra came here. If our ancestors hadn't rebelled and buried the Stargate—
Teal'c: You would have not become strong enough to challenge them.
Kennedy: Then the galaxy is populated by the ancient peoples of Earth.
Hammond: There could be millions by now.
Teal'c: Then you are their greatest hope. And mine.

O'Neill: Listen, um, I gotta ask you something. It's not easy for me.
Kawalsky weakly: We're friends.
O'Neill: If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?

Kennedy: I heard the operation was a complete success, sir. Congratulations. And I have my orders to return to Langley.
Hammond: Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
Kennedy: With Teal'c, sir. I have his travel orders as well.
Hammond: You do realize that without his cooperation in finding an anesthetic the operation might have been a failure.

About the lack of light on P3X-797
Jackson: This is crazy. We don't know what could be there waiting for us when we come through.
Makepeace: Don't you worry, boys. That's why the SG-3 Marines are coming with. You can count on us to watch your backsides.
Jackson: Actually it's more my front side I was worried about.

Connor (Roger Cross): The people here, they believe he's their god.
Teal'c: Because you came through the Stargate.
Connor: No no. You don't get it. Hanson believes it to.

Carter: Look, I don't understand how that could happen anymore than you do. But if SG-1 is going after him then I am going with you.
Connor: Wait a minute. No, you can't do that. There are hundreds—probably thousands— of them. He's their god. They'll die for him, they'll kill for him in a heartbeat.
O'Neill: That's not your problem. Now I need someone to report back to the General and that is you.
Connor: No, sir.
O'Neill: "No, sir"? Does it say "colonel" anywhere on my uniform?

Hanson: I've been carrying this for years. All along I've been looking for God. And here I am.

Sara O'Neill: That other guy. Do you know what he said?
O'Neill: I have a pretty fair idea.
Sara: We were great together.
O'Neill: The greatest.

Hammond: You know that's my car, don't you?
O'Neill: You should get that window fixed.

Mughal: If you travel this country you must learn our ways.
Carter: I'm thinkin' we should just go back while we're ahead.

Mughal: All Shavadai, be free! (the women remove their veils) It is how you will be remembered, Carter.

Gairwyn: You're a little short for gods.

Unas: I know the secrets of the Labyrinth. I could help you escape.
O'Neill: A map would be nice.

O'Neill: Well, we have a number of... shuttles.
Bra'tac: These shuttles, they are a formidable craft?
O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bad day.

Bra'tac: We shall have to cross that bridge when we come to it.
O'Neill: You know, that particular cliché doesn't... always work.

Bra'tac: Now we die.
O'Neill: Well, that's a bad plan.

Jackson: This is the Hall of Might?
Gairwyn: You were expecting something different?
Jackson: Well, uh... maybe a hall.

Maybourne: Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial.
O'Neill: I'm not gonna hit you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you.

Ally: Listen, you're a sitting duck down here.
Teal'c: And ducks are bad?
Ally: Um... the sitting kind are.

Machello (in Daniel): How is he?
Fraiser: Not good. He has severe scar tissue all over his body. Looks like he was burned or electrocuted. My guess is he was tortured.
Machello (in Daniel): He's not going to live much longer, is he?
Fraiser: I don't think so.

Machello (in Daniel): Why does no one answer me?
Fred: 'Cause you're strange.
Machello (in Daniel): Am I? Tell me why I am strange.
Fred: Man, you can't just be walking up to people you don't know on the street and talking all weird like that, asking for stuff.
Machello (in Daniel): Isn't that what you are doing?
Fred: Well, yeah, but—
Machello (in Daniel): Then you must be strange as well.
Fred: I've been called worse.

Machello (in Daniel): If it was not for me, you would have been conquered by now.
Fred: By who? Saddam?
Machello (in Daniel): He is not a System Lord I am familiar with.

Carter: He's not Goa'uld or Jaffa. I don't sense any Naqueda. As far as I can tell he's clean.
O'Neill: What's he doing here?
Charlie (Jeff Gulka): I am here to warn you.

Fraiser: Well. As far as I can tell he's human.
O'Neill: No bomb in the chest? A little biohazard in the tooth maybe?
Fraiser: Checked for both. He's no threat to us as far as I can tell.

O'Neill: So what do I call you?
Charlie: I do not have a name.
O'Neill: What's your mom call you?
Charlie: Son.
O'Neill: That's not much of a name.
Charlie: No. It's more of a description.

Charlie: That's why I'm here. To warn you.
O'Neill: Well thank you, Charlie. But we already knew about the Goa'uld.
Charlie: Not the Goa'uld. It's the Re'tu rebels who intend to eliminate you.

Fraiser: It's like Mother Nature put him together in a hurry and got everything a little bit wrong.

Carter: Dad, we have a little bit of a situation and we may need Selmak's help.
Jacob (Carmen Argenziano): Selmak Selmak Selmak. I thought maybe you just wanted to see your old man.

O'Neill: Hey Charlie. How're you feeling?
Charlie: Tired. Really tired. {there's some noise in the distance.} Fer cryin' out loud.

Jacob: The Re'tu rebels are kind of like terrorists are here on Earth. Nasty guys. They could do a lot of damage here, folks. Kill a lot of people.
O'Neill: How many are there?
Jacob: Don't know. But I do know their M.O. They work in small groups of five infiltrators. They sneak in, split up, plant destructive devices and try to maximize the damage before they're even detected.

Charlie: Mother says not to cry.
O'Neill: Crying's okay.
Charlie: She says the boys of your culture do not cry.
O'Neill: Not true. In fact there's an official list of reasons for which crying is a good thing.
Charlie: Mother is leaving.
O'Neill: Now see, that's a good reason. Mom leaving I believe is number six on the list of good reasons.

Jackson: Isn't he a little young to be a host?
Selmak: He is young. But the Tok'ra symbiote that we introduce to his mind can teach him. He will grow up with the advantages that great wisdom brings.
O'Neill: Two keywords there: grow up.

Sergeant: The major wants all this stowed for transport, sir.
Young Hammond: What is it?
Sergeant: My orders are to forget I ever saw it, sir. So I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.

Thornbird: Your American accent is very impressive, Mr. Kirk. Before we ship you out and hand you over to wherever it is they take spies such as yourself, I wanted a word. Your little incursion into our training facility is going to leave an embarrassing mark on my record.
O'Neill: Training facility?
Thornbird: You don't think we'd test fire a real missile twenty-eight floors inside a mountain, do you?

Thornbird: What was the weapon you used?
O'Neill: Weapon?
Thornbird: Our cameras saw some sort of weapon.
O'Neill: Oh. Well, it's hard to say.
Thornbird: Some sort of state secret?
O'Neill: No, just difficult to pronounce.

O'Neill: Listen we've got gas money. Where you headed?
Michael: Upstate New York. Some big concert.

Michael: We're even thinking of crossing the border up to Canada.
Teal'c: For what reason?
Michael: You know, man. The war.
Teal'c: The war with Canada.
Michael: No.

Cassie: Hello, Jack. Teal'c. Daniel? I hardly recognized you with hair!
O'Neill: Do... Do we know you?
Cassie: Sam will recognize me. Come closer.
Carter: Oh my god. Cassandra!
Cassie: Dear Sam.
O'Neill: Excuse me, who is this?
Carter: Cassandra.
O'Neill: Cassie's thirteen years old.
Cassie: Not anymore, Jack. I've been expecting you my whole life in fact. You entered the Stargate a few seconds too soon. So the flare threw you far into the future.

Cassie: I will tell you this. Your journey's just beginning.

Jacob: So. You guys are the talk of the Tok'ra water cooler.
O'Neill: For what?
Jacob: Kickin' some major Hathor behind.

Jacob: We need your help.
Carter: You need our help? With what?
Jacob: Let's just call it an old hunt.

Jacob: The Tok'ra council has been taking a Goa'uld census of sorts. Where the System Lords have positioned themselves, what domain they rule. Who serves under them, that sort of thing. But there's one Goa'uld we've lost track of.
O'Neill: Seth.
Jacob: Our record of him ends when Earth's gate was buried in ancient Egypt
Carter: Are you saying he never left?
Jacob: That's our theory. We think he still might be here. Hiding among Earth's people.

Selmak: Your father has an unresolved issue on this planet and frankly it's beginning to irritate me.
Carter: Mark.
Selmak: Yes. Your father is a proud man. He refuses to seek out your brother and mend their relationship.
Carter: Yeah. Well, Mark isn't exactly rushing into my father's arms either. Even when we thought Dad was going to die he didn't return my call.
Selmak: It hurt your father deeply that his son did not come to his deathbed. Now why would it hurt? As far as I was concerned the kid wasn't my son anymore. It didn't hurt a bit.

James Hamner: You have a rather insubordinate subordinate, General.
Jacob: He's not insubordinate to me, only to people such as yourself. Saves me the trouble.

Hamner: You wanna tell me what's going on?
O'Neill: Didn't you say you know more than I do?
Hamner: Well apparently not. I just got off the phone with the President.
O'Neill: Of the United States of America? Sweet.

Hamner: I have to prepare for the worst. If your people have been caught and I don't act, it's on me if they get killed.
Jacob: It won't be on you, it'll be on me.
Teal'c: It will reside on me also.

Thor: Greetings General O'Neill.
O'Neill: Greetings. Have we met?
Thor: I am Thor.

Thor: We received word of what transpired between your people and the Goa'uld named Hathor.
O'Neill: She had it coming.
Thor: As a result, the Goa'uld System Lords have turned their attention toward you.

Thor: I have come to offer our assistance.
O'Neill: Now see that would be appreciated. I have seen your work and it's great.

Thor: Our greatest advantage has been the feudal nature of the Goa'uld. Our greatest concern has been a single Goa'uld rising to dominant power. If Sokar were to overtake the System Lord collective, the Asgard may not have sufficient power to stop him.
O'Neill: So basically you guys are bluffing the Goa'uld big time.

Thor: These negotiations will not be easy. The Asgard will be required to make great sacrifices. As will you.

Thor: Do the System Lords accept the Asgard proposal?
Yu: The Goa'uld System Lords accept the Asgard proposal. And demand one additional concession. We want immediate and unconditional forfeiture of the Tau'ri Stargate.

Kronos: We will not attack your world. But if you continue to use your Stargate, be warned. Anyone who is caught by one of the System Lords will be shown no mercy. They will suffer greatly.
O'Neill: Well that certainly makes life more interesting.

O'Neill: Is there anything we can do from in here?
Fraiser: Nothing, Colonel. All the specimens are inside us. And since we're infected with multiple organisms we can expect our symptoms to be rapidly acute.
O'Neill: I'd like to apologize in advance for anything I may say or do that could be construed as offensive as I slowly go nuts!
Fraiser: Likewise, Colonel.

O'Neill: So, Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert.
Merrin: Yes.
O'Neill: How old are you?
Merrin: I'm eleven. How old are you?
O'Neill: So Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert.

Merrin: You aren't a scientist?
O'Neill: Oh no.
Merrin: Then you are not as smart as Major Carter and Dr. Fraiser.
O'Neill: Well it depends on.... Okay, no. I'm not. But while they were stuck in school I was out doing other things. Like having fun. You do know what fun is, don't you? Okay. Ah. Fun is what you do to make yourself happy. Like music games. It's whatever you do when you're not learning to be a rocket scientist.
Merrin: I am here to teach Major Carter about the reactor.
Carter: Sounds like fun to me.

Teal'c: I have vowed to battle the Goa'uld and to free my people. If I allow the symbiote that I carry to be implanted, I would be perpetuating all that I oppose.
Tomin: What happens if you do not find a host for this Goa'uld?
Teal'c: It will die.
Tomin: If the Goa'uld dies, then you will die as well? That would be unfortunate.

Hammond: She's got nanites in her blood?

Tomin: Father, I wish to undergo the Averium immediately.
Kalan: Tomin, it is six months until you turn twelve.
Tomin: I am concerned by what Teal'c has told me of these Goa'uld. If they learn of our existence they will destroy us. The studies I have made as an Urrone to learn about defense technologies must now be put to use so that Orban can begin preparations.
Kalan: I will notify the elders. You have learned well, my son. I am proud.

Carter: Draw me your reactor core. Give me an idea of what it looks like.
Merrin: I don't draw.
Carter: You don't draw? Everyone draws.
Merrin: No. It is not something I am required to do. I have never had to draw before.
Carter: Oh. Well, it's pretty easy.

Jackson: So when you say he gave you his knowledge, you meant it literally.
Kalan: It was a beautiful ceremony.

O'Neill: Who are you?
Aris Boch: Aris Boch. Perhaps you've heard of me.
O'Neill: Ah... not I. Teal'c.
Teal'c: I have not.
Aris Boch: Well that's disappointing. I'm one of the galaxies greatest hunters.
O'Neill: Not ringing a bell, sorry.
Aris Boch: Well I know you. Captain Samantha Carter. Dr. Daniel Jackson. The Jaffa traitor, Teal'c. And Colonel Jack O'Neill.
O'Neill: Well fancy that. We're famous.

Aris Boch: Dr. Jackson. If you don't mind treating my wound.
Jackson: I'm an archaeologist.
Aris Boch: I know. But you're also a doctor.
Jackson: Of archaeology.
Aris Boch: Never mind. Captain! You must have some medical training.
Carter: Actually, I'm a Major now.
Aris Boch: Oh. Well how very important. I'll inform the galaxy.

Aris Boch: I give to the Goa'uld what they want and they give back to me what I want in return.
Carter: How do you keep from getting killed?
Aris Boch: Takes talents.
O'Neill: So. How do you keep from getting killed?

Aris Boch: And you, O'Neill, you're considered, well, you're a pain in the mikta.
O'Neill: Neck?
Teal'c: No.

Aris Boch: Zat gun?
O'Neill: Dropped the ni'katel.
Aris Boch approvingly: I guess it does save a bit of effort.

Jackson: You don't seem to have much of a problem trading human lives like commodities.
Aris Boch: Oh, you Earthlings and your morality.

Korra: Aris told you about his wife and son?
O'Neill: Oh yeah.
Korra: It's a lie. He has none. Never did.
Jackson: So why does he do this?
O'Neill: Greed.
Korra: Not exactly. It is true that his race cannot be used as hosts. And most were slaughtered by the Goa'uld. Those that were kept alive are addicted to a substance called Roshnah.

Aris Boch: Poison. That's very un-Goa'uld-like. Why would he do that?
Carter: To save the lives of other Tok'ra.
Aris Boch: Since when does a Goa'uld care about another Goa'uld?
Carter: I told you, the Tok'ra are not the same.

SG-X Member: Boy are you guys gonna get it.
O'Neill: Get what? From whom?
SG-X Member: You can't talk!
O'Neill: Why not?
SG-X Member: Because you're dead.
O'Neill: Dead?
SG-X Member: Pretending not to be dead will just get you into more trouble.
O'Neill: More trouble than dead?

Captain: No rank is above strict adherence to the rules of engagement. Rule two, article four. Unauthorized forces will be shot on sight.

Captain Rogers: We study long and hard and know much.
Carter: About Earth?
Captain Rogers: Oh yes. Corn and cotton are indigenous to North America.
O'Neill: That information could save your life one day.

Captain Rogers: This is the Final Challenge.
Captain Nelson: What happened?
Captain Rogers: The day has come, Nelson. The Final challenge.
Captain Nelson: Blood has been shed.

O'Neill: Ol' Doc Fraiser says you haven't been eating.
Captain Rogers: It's poisoned.
O'Neill: It's hospital food. Of course it is.

Captain Rogers: I will reveal nothing. You may begin torturing me.
O'Neill: Oh, I've already begun. This is the infamous tuna torture.

Captain Rogers: You can go home—wherever that is. The war is over.
O'Neill: No it's not. Because tomorrow the Final Challenge begins. And many of my men will die. For him.

Captain Nelson: What will become of us? Where will we go now?
Captain Rogers: Home.

Sha're: Daniel, I only came to tell you about the boy.
Jackson: What about him?

Sha're: You must continue. So you can find the boy.
Jackson: Where is he?
Sha're: To continue your travels, you must first forgive Teal'c. He did what is right.
Jackson: He killed you.
Sha're: Yes.
Jackson: But you're here.
Sha're: Yes. Now go back to sleep.

Jackson: It was a beautiful ceremony, Good Father.
Kasuf: It was. My heart is still burdened.
Jackson: Why? Your daughter is with the God.
Kasuf: Yes. But you still have not heard her.
Jackson: I don't understand.
Kasuf: What she has to say is important. To all of our future.

Sha're: You must forgive Teal'c.
Jackson: Yes. You already told me that.
Sha're: And together you must find the boy.
Jackson: Why?
Kasuf: For he is Harcesis. The One Who Holds the Secrets.
Sha're: The boy is the son of two Goa'uld hosts. He contains all the secrets of the Goa'uld. You must find him.

Jackson: Keb is a myth.
Sha're: No.
Jackson: Where is it?
Sha're: Promise me you will save the child.
Jackson: I promise.

Orner (Jason Gray-Stanford): Where did you come from? How'd you get in here?
O'Neill: Door was open. Is there anyone around here who might be considered... in charge?
Orner: Me. Show me your papers.
Jackson: We don't have any papers. We're travellers. We've come to meet you.
Orner: To meet me?
Layale: Not you!
Jackson: Actually I meant your people.

Orner: Who would give you a name like Teal'c?
Teal'c: It was given by my father. It means strength.
Layale: You remember your father?
Teal'c: For as long as I draw breath.
Orner: Then you could have not been here at the time of the Vorlix.
Jackson: Vorlix? That doesn't ring a bell.
Layale: It was the day that all we know of ourselves was taken away.
Orner: We can only remember the days since the Vorlix. Before that, nothing.

Ke'ra: You're not from Vyus.
O'Neill: What gave us away?
Ke'ra: Whatever agent that caused the Vorlix is gone, but its effects were pandemic. If you know who you are, then you cannot be of this world.

Ke'ra: There are still so many questions. Why are there no images of children and... where have our elders gone? Through your Stargate perhaps?

Jackson: There's a test, it compares what we call DNA. It proves that you and Linea are the same person.
Ke'ra: Well the test is wrong. I'm not Linea.
Jackson: No you're not. You're Ke'ra now. Ke'ra is wonderful. As long as you remain that person that will never change.
Ke'ra: You're telling me that I would never be able to take the antidote. I would never harm anyone, Daniel. Do you believe me?
Jackson: I do.

Jackson: You've taken the antidote.
Ke'ra: Leave, Daniel.
Jackson: You said all debts have now been paid. That was the message Linea left behind.
Ke'ra: Was it?
Jackson: Did you take the antidote?
Ke'ra: I had to know, Daniel. I didn't believe you.
Jackson: Ke'ra—
Ke'ra: I'm not Ke'ra, am I? I am the murderer you said I was.

Carter: It's my father.
Martouf (J.R. Bourne): I'm afraid he's been captured by Sokar.
Carter: Oh my god.
Martouf: As far as we know, he is still alive.
Carter: As far as you know?
Martouf: You are familiar with the way Sokar has assumed the persona of the entity on Earth known as the Devil?
O'Neill: Yeah. Bit pretentious, don't you think?
Martouf: You must understand when I say that, if Selmak is still alive, he has been sent to Hell.
O'Neill: As in?
Martouf: A place of eternal suffering and damnation, from which there is no return.

O'Neill: So we're talking about a rescue mission here?
Martouf: Unfortunately to our knowledge, no one has ever escaped Ne'tu.
O'Neill: Oh.
Martouf: No one except for Jolinar.
Carter: Oh.

O'Neill: How did Jolinar get out?
Martouf: She never said.
Jackson: No one ever asked her how she escaped from an inescapable prison?
Martouf: She was found unconscious and badly injured in a tel'tak—a cargo ship floating adrift in space. Her recovery was long and painful. She was encouraged to remember how she escaped but she refused to speak of it.

Martouf: The Tok'ra believe that Sokar is about to launch a massive attack against the System Lords.
O'Neill: Isn't that good news?
Teal'c: The chaotic and feudal disorganization of the System Lords' fragmented rule is a far more vulnerable target than that of one powerful Goa'uld.
Martouf: Especially if that Goa'uld is Sokar.

Martouf: Without wanting to sound overly dramatic, the fate of the galaxy may be at stake.
O'Neill: Sounds a bit overly dramatic.

Martouf: If she does not remember Jolinar's method of escape I will not ask any of you to accompany me down to the surface.
O'Neill: Why?
Martouf: Because anyone who does will likely not return.

Jacob: Am I dreaming?
Carter: No. No, we're real.
Jacob: Are you crazy?
O'Neill: Apparently.

O'Neill: Is he gonna make it?
Martouf: Not here. Unless we get him out of this place soon he will die.

Bynarr: Allow me to offer thanks for returning the Tok'ra Jolinar, the one who betrayed me, so that I may seek my revenge.
Sokar: Of what do you speak?
Bynarr: She arrived today with three others.
Sokar: I did not send her to you. They are intruders. Find out what they want, then kill them.

Apophis (Peter Williams): You will call me Nao'nak no longer. From this day forth I will reclaim my real name. Apophis.

O'Neill: You do understand we're not too happy to see you.
Apophis: Your insolence is amusing to my ears.

Apophis: You used this to access the memories of Jolinar left in your mind. That is the only way you could have known how to escape. I will use it to get you to tell me everything you want to know.
Carter: It doesn't work that way.
Apophis: I know how it works. When it's fully activated it makes your memories easily accessible to your conscious mind.

Martouf: I knew it was you.
Carter: You shouldn't have done it, Martouf.
Martouf: I couldn't watch him kill you, Samantha.
Carter realizing: You lied.

Aldwin: I'm sorry I doubted you.
Teal'c: I am surprised as you that we survived.

Fraiser: Loosen your belt please, Colonel.
O'Neill: How's a needle in my butt gonna get water out of my ear?

Fraiser: It must have something to do with the alien symbiote within him. It took an extremely large dose just to sedate him in the first place.
Hammond: What is the problem with the human?
Fraiser: Her bio-chemistry has been altered. It is related to her prior infestation by the dominant parasitical species of this galaxy.
Hammond: Is there a way to compensate?
Fraiser: I have not found one yet.
Hammond: Place them in a holding cell. Once the invasion is complete you may study them further. Only then will we know if this is a viable new home.

Carter: This is Major Samantha Carter. We have a foothold situation.
Maybourne (Tom McBeath): Major Carter? Where are you?
Carter: I can't tell you that, sir.

Maybourne: Major, you're way outside your chain of command.
Carter: I have reason to believe that may be compromised, sir.
Maybourne: Understood.

Fraiser: Hey Teal'c. How're you feeling? You went a little crazy on us so we had to sedate you. Do you what happened?
Teal'c: I do not.
Fraiser: SG-1 was exposed to chemical fumes from the spill. You became delusional and attacked several people trying to escape from the base.

Maybourne: So. You came to the one person you don't trust.
Carter: I don't know how far up the chain of command the infiltration goes. It may well be contained within the SGC, but if General Hammond was compromised—
Maybourne: He sounded fine to me on the phone.

O'Neill: Who's that?
Major Paul Davis (Colin Cunningham): Major Davis.
O'Neill: Colonel O'Neill.
Davis: What's going on? How'd we get like this?
O'Neill: You're asking me?

Davis: What are you doing?
O'Neill: I'm going to wake her up.
Davis: Do you think that's such a good idea, sir?
O'Neill: It's *an* idea.

Hammond: Appreciate your help in this matter, Maybourne.
Maybourne: Credit Major Carter. I do.

Narim: The decision that the Triad must reach is of great concern to a friend of yours. He is an Abydonian by the name of Skaara.
O'Neill: What?

Narim: No harm will come to you. The Tollan will guarantee it.
O'Neill: Is that a "money back if you're not completely alive" guarantee?

Klorel: You! You will pay for what you did to my father.
O'Neill: It's good to see you too.

Skaara: I'm very happy to see you. All of you.
O'Neill: What just happened? What's the deal?
Narim: The Tollan designed the device worn upon his chest. It suppresses the Goa'uld's ability to silence his host. The Goa'uld and host are free to speak at will. The device cannot be removed as long as Klorel and Skaara are our guests.

Narim: As you may recall from our last encounter, it is forbidden for the Tollan to give our technology to anyone less advanced than our own.
O'Neill: Still got that arrogance bug, I see.

Travell: You disregarded my warnings.
O'Neill: Mine too. Well done.
Travell: If you were my subject I would be forced to discipline you. However you are not one of my subjects.

Carter: I thought the Nox were pacificists.
Lya: I only hid the weapon. I did not fire it.
Carter: Ah. Pretty fine line you didn't cross.
Lya: Yes it is.

Hammond: Can these devices be removed?
Fraiser: Not without causing irreparable brain damage, sir.
O'Neill: What's the down side?
Fraiser: How they were implanted without any external marks or injury to the cortex is beyond me.

Urgo (Dom DeLuise): Do you know that you're all much better looking on the outside than you are on the inside? On the inside it's so complicated.

Carter: The technology implanted in our brains, sir. We're looking at some sort of visual communication interface. Controlled hallucination.
O'Neill: So... I... What?
Urgo: He gets confused. By the way, who is Mary Steenburgen?

Teal'c: We are not wild animals.
Urgo: Speak for yourself. Big fella.

Urgo: It's me or death. You have to decide. Me. Or death. ... Well?
O'Neill: We're thinking.

Hammond: Doctor, are we entirely sure the members of SG-1 are... What's the word?
Fraiser: Sane?
Hammond: That's the one.

Urgo: Wait! I can be dull! Want me to be dull? What a nice shade of gray. How about some white bread with mayonnaise? Wanna watch golf on television?
O'Neill: Will you flip that switch?

Jackson: You're Togar?
Togar: Yes! Togar!
Urgo whispering: As handsome as he is evil.

Urgo: I want to live. I want to experience the Universe. And I want to eat pie.
O'Neill: Who doesn't?

O'Neill: Him or death.
Urgo: No, I—
O'Neill: Death or him.
Urgo: Oh my.
O'Neill: Well?
Urgo: I'm thinking.

Harriman: They say you've come through the stone ring. Hard thing to ask a man to believe.
O'Neill: I know what you mean.

Fraiser: You working through the night again?
Carter: Yeah. A lot of work to do.
Fraiser: Look Sam, there's no doubt you are going to solve this, but you have to accept the fact that it's going to take time.
Carter: Yeah, well if I think that way it could take months.
Fraiser: Daniel says the Tollan could have a ship in the vicinity of Edora sometime early next year.
Carter: He shouldn't have to wait that long.
Fraiser: You miss him.
Carter: Yeah.
Fraiser: Is this a problem?
Carter: No. No, of course not.
Fraiser: Okay.

Laira: Come. I would like your company.
O'Neill: I don't even like my company right now.
Laira: You will again. Loss is that way. I mourned my husband for a hundred days. I never left my house, I never spoke to anyone.
O'Neill: After that?
Laira: I left my house. And I spoke to people.

Laira: Paynan has invited you to evening supper.
O'Neill: Why? He doesn't even like me.
Laira: He is very grateful for all the help you've given him in rebuilding his home.
O'Neill: I just hammered a few nails. Well, actually I made the nails first, and then I hammered them.

O'Neill: Laira, you should know a part of me is never going to let go of the life I left behind.
Laira: Well. That's not the part of you I want.

Jackson: Your Eminence, our government has asked us to return to Tollana to arrange formal diplomatic relations with your people.
High Chancellor Travell: Consider it done. You are, after all, the people who saved us from the Goa'uld.

Jackson: Okay, please, if you'll just allow me to make our case.
High Chancellor Travell: I assume you want weapons technology.
Jackson: Yes.
O'Neill: One of those ion cannons would be nice.
High Chancellor Travell: I see. And for what will you use such a cannon?
O'Neill: To defend ourselves against the Goa'uld.
High Chancellor Travell: Forgive me, Colonel, but our research shows you are far more likely to use our technology against enemies on your own planet.
O'Neill: What if I gave you my word that would never happen?
High Chancellor Travell: Are you the commander of your entire nation?
O'Neill: No.
High Chancellor Travell: Then in truth you cannot guarantee it.

Maybourne: May I come in?
O'Neill: No. I am in no way obligated to put up with your crap anymore.
Maybourne: I think you're gonna want to hear what I have to offer you.
O'Neill: Offer?

Makepeace: I'm proud to join you folks. I hope you will learn to trust my command as much as you did Colonel O'Neill's.
Carter: I'm sure we will, sir.
Jackson: I never really trusted Jack's command, but... I'm open.

Maybourne: I want to be sure you understand once thing, O'Neill. What I'm about to show you is not so much classified as it is secret. Dangerous would be another word I would use.
O'Neill: Keep talking.
Maybourne: I want you to understand that once you see what I'm about to show you, there is no turning back. You have the choice to go along with it or disappear.
O'Neill: Disappear?
Maybourne: This is your last chance to back out.
O'Neill: Well if you promise to cut down on the melodrama I'll consider crossing the line.

Makepeace: You pissed off the wrong people.
O'Neill: Like the Tollan, Tok'ra, Asgard, Nox.... Those folks?
Makepeace: They refuse to give us the things we need to defend ourselves against the Goa'uld.
O'Neill: We don't need their stuff, Makepeace. We do need them.

Jackson: No no no no! Nick! Nick, I'm real! I'm real! You're not hallucinating!
Nicholas Ballard: Hallucinations always say that.

Jonas Quinn (Corin Nemec): Hey, Major? How do I know what color to wear?
Carter: We call each other every morning.

Carter: Teal'c's not exactly an open book.
Quinn: Still. I'm usually much better at reading people.
Chekov: Major! Why was I not informed about the X-302?
Quinn: For example, it might not be obvious to everyone but this man is actually very upset.

Teal'c: Rya'c!
Rya'c: You dare show your face here? She is dead because of you.

Bra'tac: Teal'c chose your mother's fate no more than he chose his own. We are all victims of the Goa'uld.
Teal'c: No Master Bra'tac, Rya'c is correct. I have failed both he and his mother.
Bra'tac: The boy passes judgment without ever having fought a single battle. to Rya'c: Hm? Fighting a war that appears unwinnable does not make one's cause less noble.

Bra'tac: He directs his malice towards you because he believes you doubt him as much as he doubts himself.
Teal'c: Why would he believe such a thing?
Bra'tac: Because you are his father. And you have not told him otherwise.

McKay: Still sexy as ever, I see.
Carter: What are you doing here?
McKay: Well there's no point in building Naquada reactors for Russia if there isn't going to be a Russia, is there.

McKay: She's not going to be happy when she wakes up, is she? She is going to wake up. Isn't she?

Rya'c: I do not understand. There was at least eight of them.
Bra'tac: Ten.
Rya'c: How did neither of you get hit?
Teal'c: It is always more difficult to hit a moving target.
Bra'tac: It is also helpful to be lucky.

Carter: What'cha thinkin'?
McKay: Besides the fact that these guys are morons? she laughs. What do you think the little alien guy's doing down there?

Jonas: You know, it's the stupidest thing, but it's been bugging me since I got here.
Carter: What's that?
Jonas: We're inside a mountain. The gate obviously can't fit through any of these doors.
Carter: So how did we get it in here.
Jonas: Yeah.
Carter: Ceiling retracts. Above it is a shaft that leads to the surface and inside is a crane mechanism that hoisted the gate down.
Jonas: Interesting.
Carter: Yeah.
Jonas: Does it go up?

McKay: Well. Uh... let me know if I can help.
Carter: I will. Thanks. Carter kisses McKay on the cheek.
McKay: That means you don't hate me.
Carter: Maybe. Too bad for you.
McKay: Why?
Carter: I was more attracted to you when I did.

Jonas: I don't want you to exonerate me. I just want to be given the opportunity to prove I can make a difference.

O'Neill: Good guess on the green.
Jonas: Thanks.

Jacob Carter: Jack, are you seriously considering salvaging this ship?
O'Neill: Why yes I am, Jacob.
Jacob: This ship belonged to Anubis.
O'Neill: Excellent.
Jacob: What if it's some sort of Trojan horse?
O'Neill: Well then apparently they did it wrong.

Jonas: Why would he bring me all the way out here if I'm not going to be allowed to contribute anything?
Teal'c: This is your first mission. It may take some time for Colonel O'Neill to gain confidence in your abilities.
Jonas: So it was the same for you?
Teal'c: No it was not.

Jonas: Those of us who weren't originally from the planet Earth gotta stick together, right?
Teal'c: Are you suggesting an alien conspiracy?

Major Davis: I know Thor was a friend of yours, but this is a Goa'uld mothership. If we allow it to blow up they'll be nothing left to salvage.
Jacob: Jack, this ship is never going to fly again. I'd say having the Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet owe you one is more valuable.
O'Neill: Yeah. Alright. Next mothership we keep. Okay?

Richard Fleming: I know what happened to you. I know about Adrian Conrad.
Carter: Who are you?
Richard Fleming: They never shut the project down, Major. And now it's out of control.
Carter: What project?
Richard Fleming: You have to protect me. They know that I—

Carter: You knew who Adrian Conrad was, didn't you?
Jonas Quinn (Corin Nemec): Well I memorized all your mission reports. I just don't want people around here to start thinking I'm “strange”.
Carter: People don't think you're strange.
Jonas: What about Colonel O'Neill?
Carter: Let's get some lunch.

Carter: I'd like to see his lab if I may.
Sheriff Knox: There was a fire last night at Immunitech. The place was gutted.

Carter: Nice lunch.
Jonas: I'm really starting to enjoy this, ah, traditional American food.
Carter: We have another tradition. It's called hardened arteries.

Teal'c: Our attempts to gather information from the town have proved equally fruitless.
Jonas: I wouldn't say that. Don't tell me you haven't noticed how strangely people have been acting around here.
Carter: What are you talking about?
Jonas: Well for instance, that man there, right behind Teal'c? He hasn't realized it, but he's put eight cubes of sugar in his coffee. That lady over at the counter? Has been reading the same article for half-an-hour. Since we sat down, that waitress has dropped her tray twice. The cook has gotten three orders wrong, including my hamburger. Which I ordered medium rare but is in fact well-done. I've been noticing similar behavior all morning. It's like the entire town's half-asleep.

Sheriff Knox: Two months ago, another Immunitech researcher named Peter Stouffer disappeared. The case was never solved.
Carter: Why didn't you tell me this?
Sheriff Knox: The town's been through some rough times, Major. Shipyard shut down two years ago, put everybody out of work. When Immunitech came along they brought a lot of money to the area.
Carter: So nobody wants to hear anything bad about them.

Teal'c: You have much to learn about humans.
Jonas: That's kind of my point. How are we supposed to fit in if we spend all our time on base?

Teal'c: I have a sufficient understanding of Earth culture.
Jonas: But you'll never really be one of them.
Teal'c: This is not my home. When my time with SG-1 is done, I will return to Chulak with my son.
Jonas: I guess that's the difference between us. I don't think I'll be able to go back.

Carter: What did happen at the bar?
Teal'c: We were met with hostility.
Carter: You didn't say anything weird, did you?
Jonas: Why are you looking at me?

Jonas: You have got to teach me how to do that.
Carter: Wormhole theory, motorcycle riding, lockpicking.
Jonas: Not necessarily in that order.

Sheriff Knox: What about this one?
Carter: He's an alien. The humans don't really trust him. {Jonas looks a little surprised.} We'll have to kill him.

Jonas: So when we were in the Sheriff's office, you were in complete control?
Carter: That's right.
Jonas: And you felt it absolutely necessary to shoot me.
Carter: Had to make it look good. {Jonas doesn't seem convinced.} Let's get some lunch.

Hammond: My patience on this matter has just about run out. You've been promising the safe return of Colonel O'Neill for days. Where is he?
Counselor Thoran: I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news.

Thoran: The Tok'ra council accepts that Kanan may be lost to us.
Hammond: That's the big difference between us, Counselor. We don't leave our people behind.

Lord Ba'al (Cliff Simon): Who are you?
O'Neill: You go first.
Ba'al: You claim you do not know me.
O'Neill: Well. Take no offense there, Skippy. I'm sure you're a real hot, important Goa'uld. I've just always been kinda out of the loop with the snake thing.
Ba'al: I am Ba'al.
O'Neill: That's it? Just... ball? As in bocce?
Ba'al: Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?
O'Neill: I don't know the meaning of the word. {pause}. Seriously, "impudence," what does that mean?

O'Neill: This is the last thing I remember, I swear to God. I was sick. I agreed to let the Tok'ra put a snake in my head or I would have died! Right now I'm kinda wishing I had.
Ba'al: A wish easily granted.

Thoran: You threaten the peaceful continuation of relations between our two peoples, General Hammond.
Hammond: If our relations continue in the direction they're going, Counselor, I don't give a damn.

Teal'c: The Kelownan delegation will arrive soon. Is there a problem, Jonas Quinn?
Jonas: Just been so caught up in being a member of SG-1, I kinda forgot how this whole thing started.
Teal'c: We have take similar paths. I too was forced to betray all of that in which I had placed my faith.

Her'ak: No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
O'Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard.

Malek: This is the base of the Tau'ri. Why are there Jaffa?
Carter: Rebel warriors.
Malek: Jaffa who have turned against the Goa'uld. I did not realize their ranks had grown to such a number.
Carter: Hundreds more are operating as a fifth column among the Goa'uld.
O'Neill: Just like you.
Carter: Many of these Jaffa had to evacuate their rebel base a few months ago.
Malek: I see.
O'Neill: Is that going to be a problem?
Malek: Not for us.
O'Neill: Good.

O'Neill: What the hell is going on here? This is a funeral, for cryin' out loud!
Artok: I asked a question of this Tok'ra.
Ocker: No one may speak during the ritual.
O'Neill: For this you guys are fighting? I'm sure he's sorry.
Artok: I am not.
O'Neill: Yeah, on the inside.
Ocker: It does not matter.
O'Neill: Look, it does not matter. Come on, a lot of people lost their lives. Show a little respect.

Malek: We have been fighting the Goa'uld for a millennia.
O'Neill: Yeah, just when should we expect some progress on that?

Jacob: There's talk among the Tok'ra ranks that the end is closer than we think. And I don't mean the end of the Goa'uld. I mean the end of us. All of us. The Jaffa rebellion isn't exactly rolling along as well as could be expected either, I take it.
O'Neill: No, it's not.
Jacob: Then at least we have that much in common.

Bra'tac: This single blade did what we could not. It has brought us together. This blade has spilled the blood of Jaffa, of the Tok'ra... and of the Tau'ri. By the hand of our common enemy, it has made us brothers. Together we have ensured it will never spill our blood again.

Dollen: They are sending their most respected team of representatives. No doubt the leader of this group will be a brilliant and savvy negotiator. We must be on our best to match the challenge. Personally, I can not wait to meet a man of such genius.
O'Neill: Howdy folks!

Commander Tagar: From our study of the ancient temple, we have been able to deduce the Stargate was an interplanetary transportation device.
But we haven't determined how to make a connection with the many worlds described in the writings in the temple.
Carter: It took us awhile to get the hang of it too.

O'Neill: Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Dollen: We call it tretonin, Colonel. It is our greatest scientific discovery.
Carter: How so?
Dollen: Major Carter, from what you have told me of your world people suffer from a myriad of illnesses, many of them are untreatable. Tretonin makes our immune systems impervious to any ailment. We live in perfect health.

Jonas: Looks like we're alone.
Zanna: What do you suppose this means?
Jonas: You said there was something we needed to know about the tretonin.
Zanna: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood.
Jonas: No, I think you were pretty clear.

Jonas: Zanna, if you know something—
Zanna: No, I don't.

Commander Tagar: Would you care to tell us what you were doing at the tretonin facility?
O'Neill: You want to tell us why you have a pool full of Goa'uld symbiotes?
Dollen: You have betrayed our openness with you.
O'Neill: Openness? You're raising Goa'ulds. When were you going to tell us that?

Dollen: Quite frankly, we wanted to tell you how the tretonin was made—eventually. We just wanted to first assess how you might react.
O'Neill: “Not well.”

Jonas: I have an admission to make. You know Teal'c and I tracked down the tretonin facility.
Zanna: Yes, I heard.
Jonas: Yeah. Well I did it by going through your stuff when you weren't here. I was wrong.
Zanna: I know.
Jonas: What, you know it was wrong, or...
Zanna: I know you did. I saw you.
Jonas: Really? 'Cause I thought that we were, were...
Zanna: Not so good.

Malek: As you know, memories passed on genetically by the queen allow them to be born with the collective knowledge of their lineage.
Kelmaa: It is possible that the queen that spawned him was unable to pass on this information to her progeny.
O'Neill: Unable?
Malek: The knowledge imparted on her young by a queen is done so voluntarily.
Kelmaa: In this case, if nothing were passed on to the symbiote it would be, as you say, an empty vessel.
Carter: Can you remove it without harming the host?
Kelmaa: Possibly. Although such a procedure would be dangerous.

O'Neill: So you wanted the Gate addresses to Goa'uld worlds because you wanted to snag another queen?
Dollen: Colonel, we have no choice but to replace the one we have.

Jonas: Wait a minute. "Here lies Egeria, betrayer of the Goa'uld. May she ... suffer for all eternity.” Egeria. Dr. Jackson's notes mention her. Isn't she supposed to have been killed?
Teal'c: Indeed she was. Yet this would seem to indicate otherwise.
Jonas: That means—
Teal'c: The queen the Pangarans are breeding is not Goa'uld. She is the origin of the Tok'ra.

Tagar: I'm sorry, but you ask the impossible.
Malek: She is our queen. Her freedom is not open for negotiation.
Dollen: We deeply regret who she is, but freeing her would mean death for many of our people.

Al Martell (George Wyner): Julia, when the president of the United States kills your story, that's it. Game over. You go forward with this, they could charge you with treason.

Al Martell: I guess a couple of billion dollars doesn't buy what it used to.
Jonas: You'd be surprised.

Julia Donovan: What is it?
Jonas: Someone's trying to lock down the ship. I can't stop them but I think I can slow them down.

Smith (Ian Tracey): You're currently holding two prisoners we want released. Colonel Frank Simmons and Adrian Conrad. You have exactly three hours or we blow up your ship.

Donovan: Al, why are you doing this?
Martell: They're paying me.
Donovan: We're supposed to be friends.
Martell: They're paying me a lot.

Major Davis: Colonel, you either give me what I need and we make arrangements, or we make a U-turn and I take you right back to your box.
Col. Simmons (John De Lancie): Seems to me that you're in a bit of a bind now, aren't you? Fortunately for you, I am willing to board the X-303 in the interest of saving lives. Of course I'm going to need a change of clothes. Something nice.

Col. Simmons: Spare me the Super Villain riff. You're on the clock here.

O'Neill: Thor. Buddy! Nice timing.
Thor: It has been some time, O'Neill.

O'Neill: Can you help us out here?
Thor: It is in fact we who need your help. The Asgard homeworld has been overrun by replicators. We have need of both you and your ship.

O'Neill: Don't get me wrong, flattery goes a long way with me. But if you're going where I think you're going with this—
Thor: When it became clear to the Asgard High Council that the war with the Replicators could not be won, a plan was devised—a trap was set. One made possible by you.
Carter: By us?
Thor: The android Reese that you discovered and provided to us for study retained a single core command in her base programming, which we believed all Replicators would still follow.
Carter: And you were able to reactivate it.
Thor: No. The android was damaged beyond repair. However, the key command was activated within her neural network, amplified, and broadcast through subspace throughout the known universe.
Carter: What was the command?
Thor: To come forth.
Jonas: You instructed every Replicator out there to come to you.
O'Neill: I have a theory why you lost the war.
Thor: The command was only given once the trap was set.
Jonas: What was the trap?
Thor: A time-dilation device, generating a field radius of point one-six light years.
Carter: Wow. That's some trap.

Thor: We have done all that we can and failed, O'Neill. You and your team represent our last hope.
O'Neill: Yeah. Great. So, no pressure. Right?
Thor: If you have in fact made your decision not to undertake this task, I will inform the Council.
O'Neill: Just... give me a minute here, okay?
Teal'c: Are you reconsidering, O'Neill?
O'Neill: I'm considering reconsidering.
Jonas: Well there has to be other options.
Thor: We believe there is no alternative plan of action.
Carter: Thor, I don't think you realize what you're asking us to do.
Thor: In the past, your projectile weapons have been most effective.
O'Neill: Yeah, well we don't have any projectile weapons with us at the moment, and according to Carter we're a long way from— home?

Thor: The contents of your armory at Stargate Command, along with appropriate attire, food and other supplies you may require, are now being transported aboard this vessel.
O'Neill: I hope you did the paperwork.

O'Neill: Suffice to say you might want to get upstairs and punch one on the old speed dial.
Hammond: My grandchildren?
O'Neill: Two, then. I think the president might want to know what the Asgard have in mind for our new ship.

O'Neill: You guys trying to make yourselves sick?
Jonas: Thor forgot to take the need for refrigeration into account so we figured we'd start with the frozen stuff. And it's good.
O'Neill: I'll buy that.

Thor: Time is now progressing faster within the field.
Carter: They reversed it?
Thor: By a factor of ten squared.
O'Neill: What is with you people? Time machines are nothing but trouble. Even we know that.

O'Neill: We fully expected the other shoe to drop eventually.
Thor: We can only hope this will be the last footwear to fall.

Jonas: This can't be the only structure on the entire planet.
O'Neill: I'd be willing to bet the bugs ate everything else.
Jonas: Then where are they?
Carter: Sir, you're not gonna like this.
Jonas: What is it?
Teal'c: This planet's surface appears to be covered with Replicator blocks.

First: We are inside your conscious mind now.
O'Neill: You'd think there'd be more lights on.
First: This place must be important to you.
O'Neill: I work here.
First: Your iris code is 903224637.
O'Neill: Wow, that's... close. Here's one for you. I'm thinking of an animal.
First: I never expected that you would amuse me.
O'Neill: I never expected that you'd put your hand inside my head.

Carter: You only saw a flash of this creature. Are you sure it wasn't some kind of hallucination?
Jonas: Are you suggesting I'm delusional?
O'Neill: No! No. It's just... possible that you were seeing something that wasn't entirely.... Yes, that's what we're suggesting.

Carter: How are you doing?
Jonas: Oh, well the possibility of my being insane has interfered with my ability to relax.

Vernon: I'm more of an El Camino man myself. Those things are like catnip to the ladies.
O'Neill: Don't I know it.

Carter: Just what we need: a conspiracy theorist.
Jonas: Who happens to be right about there being a conspiracy.

O'Neill: Look, I know this is a massive cliché, but the place is surrounded.
Vernon: Yeah, you're telling me. Those monsters are everywhere.

Vernon: So what planet are they from?
O'Neill: Who?
Vernon: The aliens.
O'Neill: Oh. Ah, a place called Melmac.
Vernon: Isn't that where ALF is from?
O'Neill: Who?
Vernon: ALF, you know, on TV, the puppet.
O'Neill: Never saw it.
Vernon: No kidding?

Agent Malcolm Barrett: What exactly are you implying here, Major? That the N.I.D. had a hand in the assassination of a U.S. senator?
Carter: Very few organizations have the resources to pull off something like this.
Agent Barrett: And the man accused of the crime happens to be one of them.
Carter: The SGC is not behind this.

Agent Barrett: We spend all of our time trying to protect the world from the Goa'uld. Maybe we should worry a little more about protecting it from ourselves.

Carter: What are we doing out here, Agent Barrett?
Agent Barrett: My office is bugged. It's standard procedure to record all conversations that take place at N.I.D. Headquarters. What I'm about to tell you, Major, nobody else can know. Especially my superiors.
Carter: What are you talking about?
Agent Barrett: There's a cancer at the N.I.D. A shadow organization that operates outside the law. It's time they were exposed for who they really are.
Carter: I agree.
Agent Barrett: The Prometheus incident, that was the last straw. After that I was called to the White House for an assignment.
Carter: What does this have to do with Colonel O'Neill?
Agent Barrett: Senator Kinsey was working for me. He was about to give me enough evidence to bring down the entire leadership of the shadow group.
Carter: How did you convince him to do that?
Agent Barrett: Let's just say I know about a few of the skeletons in the Senator’s closet. And it is an election year.
Carter: You blackmailed him.
Agent Barrett: I'll do whatever it takes to bring these people down, Major.

Jonas: How'd you learn how to drive?
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson instructed me.
Jonas: When was that?
Teal'c: I believe the year was 1969.

Jonas: I thought this was about protecting the planet.
Dr. Langham: Well. Nobody said it had to be a non-profit business.

Kinsey (Ronny Cox): The only way you're going to get public vindication is if the two of us appear on the six o'clock news shaking hands.
O'Neill: Yeah. I'm not sure it's worth it.

Kinsey: Smile, Colonel. You just won me the election.

Maybourne: I helped myself. I hope you don't mind.
O'Neill: You're eating my dog.
Maybourne: Want it back?
O'Neill: Would you like a beer to wash it down?
Maybourne: Already got one.
O'Neill: What are you doing here?
Maybourne: I can't drop by an old friend's house for a little barbecue?
O'Neill: Well there's that whole treason thing.

Maybourne: I heard about what happened with Prometheus.
O'Neill: I don't know what you're talking about.
Maybourne: Oh, nice delivery.
O'Neill: Yeah, I gotta work on that a little.

Maybourne: Well. Thanks for the beer. Nothing I like more than a good weiner.
O'Neill: Yes. You are what you eat.

Quinn: Well, that, and I've always been suspicious of a girl who kisses on the first date.

Markov: The sub is Swiss.
Jackson: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time. pause Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.

O'Neill: We'll be unavailable, inaccessible...
Hammond: Incommunicado...
O'Neill: Minnesota, Sir.
Hammond: I stand corrected.

Martin: Okay, scene 23 takes place on another planet, so you think aliens eat apples?
Crew Member: Why not? They speak English.

Martin: So, three shots disintegrates them.
Director: You know what? I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say.

Crew: Because you're "out of phase".
Yolanda: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?

 

Hiding in a storage closet
Jackson: I won't lie to you. There is a problem. We have to find Jack.
Tonané: Okay. He's not in here.

O'Neill: So, Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert.
Merrin: Yes.
O'Neill: How old are you?
Merrin: I'm eleven. How old are you?
O'Neill: So Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert.

Carter: Actually, I'm a Major now.
Aris Boch: Oh. Well, how very important. I'll inform the galaxy.

Aris Boch: And you, O'Neill, you're considered, well, you're a pain in the mikta.
O'Neill: Neck?
Aris Boch: No.

Urgo: Wait! I can be dull! Want me to be dull? What a nice shade of gray. How about some white bread with mayonnaise? Wanna watch golf on television?
O'Neill: Will you flip that switch?!

Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
O'Neill: So, no increase then, huh?

Martin : A top-secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems by means of a device known as a stargate.
O'Neill: Sounds like a good idea for a TV show. If you're into that sort of thing.

Her'ak: No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
O'Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard.

Baal: Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?
O'Neill: I don't know the meaning of the word. pause Seriously, "impudence," what does that mean?

Technician: Let me ask you something. Being here late at night, do you ever get the urge to just dial up random planets and check it out for a minute or two?
Dialer Guy: That would be a no.
Technician: Yeah. Me... me neither.

Maybourne: I get to name all sorts of things. You should see the Grateful Dead burial ground.

Maybourne: Jack. How long has it been?
O'Neill: Oh, since you got us stranded off-world and tried to kill me.
Maybourne: Ah. Takes me back.

Maybourne: Glad tidings of... comfort and joy. Comfort and joy.

Carter: We need to come up with a code word to let us know if you need help.
Kinsey: How about something simple like... help?

Jackson: Your English is excellent.
Russian Captain: Thank you. Do you speak Russian?
Jackson in Russian: I'm conversational. I think I can get by.
Russian Captain: We'll stick to English then.

Joe: I'm trying to reach one of your officers. Colonel Jack O'Neill. Two L's.

Customer: Well what about the Furlings? Are we ever gonna hear about them?

Worker: I'm not sure you should have sent in Seth.
Joe: They rejected Hathor? But it was gold!

Joe: You have a thing for The Simpsons...

Joe: Between you and me, I totally see the analogy: Burns as Goa'uld.

Jackson: Walked into your house didn't he?
O'Neill: Um hm.
Jackson: That's twice in a row.
O'Neill: Yeah.
Jackson: Alarm.
O'Neill: I'm thinking dog.
Joe: You could try locking your front door.

Jackson: What's this?
Hammond: Non-disclosure agreement. What we're about to discuss has been classified top secret by the United States government.
Jackson: What if we don't want to sign it?
Hammond: Then you're free to leave.
Carter hurriedly signs it.

Lord Haikon: How will we know when it is working?
Mitchell: We'll know when the Prior is no longer able to use his powers.
Jolan: How will we know when he will be no longer able to use his powers?
Mitchell: Well. Someone is just going to have to test it and find out.
Silence all around.
Mitchell: Don't worry, fellas. That someone is me.

Mitchell: General! We were just exchanging recipes.
General Landry: I heard. Has he offered up anything?
Mitchell: No sir. The man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.

Mitchell: So, do you... live here on your own?
Dr. Reya Varrick: Why do you ask?
Mitchell: It's a big place. I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
Dr. Reya Varrick: I thought that was your clever way of asking if I was married.
Mitchell: I'm not that clever.

Landry: I read your report. Not sure I've seen language like that used in an official Air Force document before.
Jackson: Sorry about that, sir.
Landry: You should see what Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson wrote.

Mitchell: What if there are more teams coming in hot, Sir?
Landry: I'm willing to make the occasional exception, but I am not about to turn this base into the Grand Central Station of the Multiverse.

Black Uniform Jackson: Wouldn't it have been easier just to zat him?
Black Uniform Teal'c: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Black Uniform Mitchell: Did he just insult me?

Camo Uniform Janet: Well, we'd love to stay, but we have a planet to save.

Ferguson: Doing pretty good. For a guy with a ticking time bomb in his head.
Mitchell: Yeah, why don't we see what the doctors have to say about that.
Ferguson: I'm just doing what the flyer says.

Mitchell hitting the vending machine: Sorry Doc, you were wrong. Hitting it doesn't help.

Landry: Teal'c is family. I don't like people screwing with my family.

Landry: Believe me, I usually applaud the colorful details of a good story—especially when told with such interesting intergalactic and body-snatching means. But Daniel and I are late to meet with the Russian and Chinese representatives.

Tomin: It's a miracle. I can walk, I can run. I can fight now.
Vala: You can what?
Tomin: I've been conscripted.

Chekov: Russia will no longer be participating under the current structure.
Landry: What are you saying?
Chekov: I'm saying, we are taking our Stargate back.

Tomin: I must leave soon for war.
Vala: Then I must go with you.

Colonel Emerson: Why would the first wave just leave us behind? They had to know there were survivors.
Mitchell: They need witnesses. Their goal is not to kill us all, it's to convert us. Their wish is to go forth and tell everybody how they kicked our asses.

Carter hanging out in open space: I don't know what you can see from your vantage point or what your sensors are picking up, but from out here that mothership is pretty badly damaged. I would be surprised if they were weapons capable.
Emerson: Thanks Sam.
Mitchell: They haven't fired yet.

About Vala taking the lie detector test
Hutchinson: Try to relax. an aside You're looking very nice today.
Vala: Oh. Thank you. You're looking rather dashing yourself.
Hutchinson: Thanks. realizes the detector is signaling a false answer. So does Vala.
Vala: I mean, nice. no change I mean, not objectionable.

Woolsey: I'm assuming things didn't go well.
Vala: I fail to see the point of that ridiculous exercise. Unless it's purpose was to thoroughly humiliate me. Those questions weren't intended to shed light on my character or delve deeply into my subconscience. They were merely little reminders as to exactly why I don't belong here.
Woolsey: Then I take it you've carefully considered our offer and come to a decision.
Vala: I have.

Vala: As my first official act I'd like to report a rather disagreeable little man.
Woolsey: That'd be me.
Landry: Mr. Woolsey's offer was part of the test. We wanted to make sure we could trust you.
Vala: I knew that. But were his sexual advances part of the test?
Woolsey: What? That's a— General, I can assure you.
Vala: Well, I would have even considered playing along, but some of his requests were, well, a little unusual. Even for me.

Landry: Checkmate.
Mitchell: Yup. Too good for me, sir.
Landry: Pandering to the ego of a senior officer, Mitchell?
Mitchell: No. Truthfully I always hated the game. If you happen to have a Playstation I will happily kick your ass at Socom 3.

Mitchell: Maybe I'm not the only one around here who needs to relax.
Landry: I'll try not to shoot you before morning.
Mitchell: Thank you, sir.

Corinne: I have chosen poorly for a husband!
Rya'c: Then perhaps I have chosen poorly as well!
they storm off
Bra'tac: I can see why one must rehearse these events.

Aries' Prime: Know this, Shol'va, I will see to it that you suffer slowly.
Teal'c: And I will see to it that you die quickly.

Lord Haikon: How will we know when it is working?
Mitchell: We'll know when the Prior is no longer able to use his powers.
Jolan: How will we know when he will be no longer able to use his powers?
Mitchell: Well. Someone is just going to have to test it and find out.
Silence all around.
Mitchell: Don't worry, fellas. That someone is me.

Orlin: Tell me, Sam. How do you regret losing a memory you can't even remember?

Teal'c: Why are you hesitating, Gerak?
Gerak: If I help you, I will die. But I will die free!

Mitchell:So, do you... live here on your own?
Dr. Reya Varrick: Why do you ask?
Mitchell: It's a big place. I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
Dr. Reya Varrick: I thought that was your clever way of asking if I was married.
Mitchell: I'm not that clever.

Ba'al: Come now, Teal'c. We're smart enough to know we're not actually gods. Well, some of us are anyway. There are always those that begin to believe their own propaganda. I suppose all you need is enough people to worship you and then what's the difference? You're pretty much a god by definition, are you not?

Nadal about the power loss: Your people have done this.
Jackson: I hope so.

Jackson: You're making a big mistake. More Ori ships will be here soon.
Jaffa: Then they will suffer the same fate.
Adria offscreen: I think not. uses telekinetic powers to strangle the Jaffa
Vala: Adria?
Adria: Hello, Mother.

Vala: Listen, we're not rejoining the fleet. You're coming with me.
Adria: No. I can't abandon my army.
Vala: It's not your army.
Adria: Of course it is.
Vala: Well as your mother I'm putting my foot down. You're too young to have an army.

Adria: Don't worry. I'll be keeping him alive. to Jackson. We have plans for you.

Bra'tac: She displays the wisdom of a battle-seasoned warrior.
Jackson: She's a mother. Close enough.

Alien: Shield failure is imminent. Damn you, Cam Mitchell!

Carter: You've had the alien database for months. Why did it take you so long to get here?
Ba'al: I can't think clearly on an empty stomach.

Osrick: This is it! The cave entrance. The Sangraal is located within.
Mitchell: It's too bad you won't be coming with us.
Ba'al: I thought I made it clear: you need me.
Mitchell: I wasn't talking to you.
Ba'al: Oh. Well, ah, allow me to get out of your line of fire.

Adria: Taking your life would be a waste of my time.
Ba'al: Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining.
Carter: Ugh. Geez, why don't you two just get a room.

Carter: In the meantime, let's see if there's a way out of here.
Ba'al: Let us know what you find. Teal'c grabs him. Or I could come too.

Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat if you catch my meaning.

Prior: And what of the village?
Adria: Have they agreed to accept the teachings of Origin?
Prior: No.
Adria: Then burn it.

Ba'al: I know where you come from you're considered relatively intelligent, but by galactic standards that's not really saying much. Wouldn't you agree? Carter punches him.
Carter: You know, if you're not going to help you're really not much use to us, and if you're not much use to us then there's really no point in keeping you alive any longer. Wouldn't you agree?
Ba'al: I'd, ah, be delighted to help.
Carter: Great to hear.

Adria: How are you feeling?
Jackson: I don't suppose you know what a hangover fells like? ... Never mind.

Jacek: Sweetheart! How is life treating you?
Vala: Certainly better than you ever did.

Teal'c: Can I give you some advice?
Jacek: Any input is appreciated.
Teal'c: Three words: be less annoying.

Jacek: I've got tickets to this "Virginia Dialogues" show.

Adria: What are you doing here? Where are your friends from Earth?
Vala: Friends come and go.
Adria: Have they abandoned you?
Vala: I'd rather not talk about it,
Adria: I really must know, Mother.
Vala: You do realize in a traditional mother-daughter relationship I'm supposed to be the bossy one. But whatever.

Adria: You can return with me to my ship and take up your rightful place as the mother of the Orisi.
Vala: Adria, stop it. I may have given birth to you but we are not family. So stop pretending.

Ba'al to Adria: You're so much more pleasant when you lack the ability to snap my neck with your thoughts.

Vala: It's over, Adria.
Ba'al in Adria: I'm afraid you're mistaken. Adria is no longer available.

Adria: Have you decided what to do with me?
Mitchell: Well we're still weighing our options. Teal'c here had a good idea.
Ba'al/Adria: I can imagine.
Teal'c: No. You can't.

Adria: I need time to prepare.
Vala: Prepare for what?
Adria: Ascension.

Adria: I always wondered if you had it in you to kill me. Goodbye, mother.

Trust Minion: How are you feeling?
Vala: A little dizzy. A little tired. And very very angry.
Trust Minion: That's because the flashbacks you're experiencing are dredging up some long-buried emotions that are coloring your subconscious mind.
Vala: I'm going to kill both of you in the most painful way possible.

Vala: What's this?
Landry: Let's just call it a Welcome Back present.
Vala: These are—
Landry: Team badges. You're now officially a member of SG-1.
Carter: Congratulations. You earned it.

Carter: It's not designed to be shut off. It activates automatically and stays on.
Bad Guy: Then remove it.
Emerson: Don't help him, Colonel. That's an order. guard shoots and kills Emerson
Bad Guy: I believe that now makes you ranking officer on the ship, Colonel Carter. I suggest that you get to work.
I'm gonna miss Emerson...

Villager: I should warn you. No one has ever returned from the quest alive. If you value your lives, you would do well to reconsider.
Mitchell: We appreciate that, but that is quitter talk.

Barmaid: Are you certain I cannot tempt you with a final meal?
Mitchell: What is it with this town and a no-can-do attitude? Every time we turn around someone's trying to write us off or scare us away.
Barmaid: I apologize. I should have said "A final meal before you set off on your journey."
Mitchell: Well, that's better.
Barmaid: Although it need be said that in the many thousands of years that adventurers have been seeking the Sangraal, not one has succeeded.

Mitchell: Look, I know you have no reason to trust us anymore than you do those guys—
Barmaid: I have not seen you shoot anyone.
Mitchell: That's an excellent point. We're gonna need your help.

Mitchell: You should come with us.
Barmaid: My place is here. I'll be fine. Mitchell hesitates. I'll blame everything on you.
Mitchell: Good plan.

Vala: I did not expect to see you again.
Adria: I had to return, mother. My work here is unfinished.
Gambler: Who is this?
Vala: You really don't want to know.

Landry: How's Vala?
Mitchell: Pissed.

Landry: What do we do now?
Teal'c: Kill them both.
Mitchell: Hard to argue with that logic. It's a two-fer.

Unending

Carter: So what's changed?
Thor: As a race, we are dying. Very soon we will all be gone.

Thor: You are the Fifth Race. Your role is clear. If there is any hope in preserving the future, it lies in you and your people.
Carter: No pressure, huh?

Landry: Good luck, SG-1.
Mitchell: Just another mission to save the galaxy, sir.
Everyone: Indeed.
Landry: God speed.