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Quotes from Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch)

Series One

Series Two

Series Three

Selected Quotes from Series One

Watson: We don't know a thing about each other. I don't know where we're meeting. I don't even know your name.
Sherlock: I know you're an army doctor and you've been invalided home from Afghanistan. I know you've got a brother who's worried about you, but you won't go to him for help because you don't approve of him—possibly because he's an alcoholic, more likely because he recently walked out on his wife. And I know that your therapist thinks your limp's psychosomatic, quite correctly I'm afraid. That's enough to be going on with, don't you think? {he exits and pops back in.} The name's Sherlock Holmes and the address is 221b Baker Street. Afternoon.

Watson: I just met a friend of yours.
Holmes surprised: A friend?
Watson: An enemy.
Sherlock: Oh! Which one?
Watson: Your archenemy, according to him. Do people have archenemies?
Sherlock: Did he offer you money to spy on me?
Watson: Yes.
Sherlock: Did you take it?
Watson: No.
Sherlock: Pity, we could have split the fee. Think it through next time.

Anderson: According to someone, the murderer has the case and we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath.
Sherlock: I'm not a psychopath, Anderson. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

Cabbie: Sherlock Holmes. I was warned about you. I've been on your website too. Brilliant stuff. Loved it.
Sherlock: Who warned you about me?
Cabbie: Someone out there who's noticed.
Sherlock: Who? Who would notice me?
Cabbie: You're too modest Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock: I'm really not.

Sherlock: So. You risked your life four times just to kill strangers. Why?
Cabbie: Time to play.
Sherlock: Oh I am playing. This is my turn.

Sherlock: What if I don't choose either? I could just walk out of here.
Cabbie: You could take the 50-50 chance or I can shoot you in the head. Funny enough, no one's ever gone for that option.
Sherlock: I'll have the gun please.
Cabbie: Are you sure?
Sherlock: Definitely. The gun.
Cabbie: You don't want to phone a friend?
Sherlock: The gun. (which turns out to be a lighter) I know a real gun when I see one.
Cabbie: None of the others did.
Sherlock: Clearly.

Watson: What are you so happy about?
Sherlock: Moriarty.
Watson: What's Moriarty?
Sherlock: I have absolutely no idea.

Watson: Where are we headed?
Sherlock: I need to ask some advice.
Watson: What? Sorry?
Sherlock: You heard me perfectly, I'm not saying it again.
Watson: You need advice.

Holmes firing at the wall: Bored! Bored! Not much got in to the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them.
Watson: So you take it out on the wall.
Sherlock: Ah, the wall had it coming.

Sherlock: Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister or who's sleeping with who.
Watson: Whether the Earth goes around the sun.
Sherlock: Oh god, that again. It's not important!

Sherlock: Lestrade. I've been summoned. Are you coming?
Watson: If you want me to.
Sherlock: Of course. I'd be lost without my blogger.

Sherlock: The curtain rises.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: Nothing.
Watson: No, what did you mean?
Sherlock: I've been expecting this for some time.

Lestrade: Why is he doing this, the bomber? If this woman's death was suspicious why point it out?
Sherlock: Good Samaritan.
Lestrade: Who press-gangs suicide bombers?
Sherlock: Bad Samaritan.

Lestrade: Any ideas?
Sherlock: Seven. So far.

Moriarty: You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you. Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind.
Sherlock: Probably my answer has crossed yours. He aims the gun at Moriarty and then down to the bomb-laden jacket...

View all quotes from Sherlock Holmes from Series One

Selected Quotes from Series Two

John Watson (Martin Freeman): What happened there?
Sherlock: Someone changed his mind. The question is, who?

Lestrade: Any ideas?
Sherlock: Eight so far... Okay, four ideas... Maybe two ideas.

Harry: You look taller in your photographs.
Sherlock: Take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.

Sherlock: You have a police force of sorts. Even a marginally Secret Service. Why come to me?
Harry: People do come to you for help, don't they Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock: Hm. Not to date anyone with a navy.

Harry: I don't smoke.
Sherlock: No, I know you don't. But your employer does.
Harry: We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock: I'm not the Commonwealth.
Watson: And that's as modest as he gets.

Sherlock: I think you're going to find Irene Adler tonight.
Mycroft: We already know where she is. As you were kind enough to point out, it hardly matters.
Sherlock: No, I mean I think you're going to find her dead.

Sherlock: I dislike being outnumbered. It makes for too much stupid in the room.

Watson: What the hell is happening?
Sherlock: Mrs. Hudson's been attacked by an American. I'm restoring balance to the universe.

Mycroft: That's all it takes. One lonely naive man, desperate to show off. And a woman clever enough to make him feel special.
Sherlock: You need to screen your defence people more carefully.
Mycroft: I'm not talking about the MOD man, Sherlock, I'm talking about you!

Sherlock: Oh enjoying the thrill of the chase is fine. Craving the distraction of the game, I sympathize entirely. But sentiment, sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
Irene Adler: Sentiment. What are you talking about?
Sherlock: You.
Irene Adler: Oh dear god, look at the poor man. You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes? The clever detective in the funny hat?
Sherlock: No. Because I took your pulse.

Sherlock: When we first met you told me that disguise is always a self portrait—how true of you. The combination to your safe, your measurements. But this, this is far more intimate. This is your heart. And you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you worked for. But you just couldn't resist it, could you? I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.
Irene Adler: Everything I said, it's not real. I was just playing the game.
Sherlock: I know. And this is just losing. {I AM SHERLOCKED}.

Sherlock: The Woman. The Woman.

Holmes appearing drenched in blood: Well that was tedious.
Watson: You went on the Tube like that?
Sherlock: None of the cabs would take me.

Sherlock: Phone Lestrade. Tell him there's an escaped rabbit.
Watson: Are you serious?
Sherlock: It's this or Cluedo.

Watson: Single ring.
Sherlock: Maximum pressure just under the half-second.
Both: Client.

Sherlock: What did you see?
Henry Knight (Russell Tovey): Oh, I was just about to say.
Sherlock: Yes, in a TV interview. I prefer to do my own editing.

Watson: Not now, Sherlock.
Sherlock: Oh please. I've been cooped up here for ages.
Watson: You're just showing off.
Sherlock: Of course. I am a show-off, that's what we do.

Sherlock: Yes, if I wanted poetry I'd read John's emails to his girlfriends. Much funnier.

Henry: Sorry, so you are coming?
Sherlock: Twenty year old disappearance, a monstrous hound. I wouldn't miss this for the world!

Watson: Mycroft's name literally opens doors.
Sherlock: I told you. He practically is the British government. I reckon we've got about twenty minutes before they realize something's wrong.

View all quotes from Sherlock Holmes from Series Two