Previously...

Moriarty: Sorry boys! I'm soooo changeable! It is a weakness with me. But to be fair to myself, it is my only weakness. You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you. Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind.
Holmes: Probably my answer has crossed yours. He aims the gun at Moriarty and then down to the bomb-laden jacket...

A Staying Alive ring tone goes off.
Jim Moriarty (Andrew Scott): Do you mind if I get that?
Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch): Oh no, please. You've got the rest of your life.
Moriarty: Hello? Yes of course it is. What do you want? {he mouths "Sorry"} Say that again! Say that again and know that if you're lying to me, I will find you and I will skin you.

Moriarty: Sorry. Wrong day to die.
Holmes: Oh. Did you get a better offer?
Moriarty: You'll be hearing from me, Sherlock. {he returns to his phone call} So if you have what you say you have, I'll make you rich. If you don't, I'll make you into shoes. {he snaps his fingers and the snipers disappear}

Potential Client 1: My wife seems to be spending a very long time at the office.
Holmes: Boring!
Potential Client 2: I think my husband might be having an affair.
Holmes: Yes.

Comic Book Web site Guy: We have this web site. It explains the true meaning of comic books, 'cause people miss a lot of the themes. {Sherlock prepares to leave} But then all of the comic books start coming true.
Holmes: Hm. Interesting.

DI Lestrade (Rupert Graves): There was a plane crash in Dusseldorf yesterday. Everyone dead.
Holmes: Suspected terrorist bomb. {to John} I do watch the news.
Watson: You said, "boring" and turned over.
Lestrade: According to the flight details, this man was checked in on board. Inside his coat he's got a stub from his boarding pass, napkins from the flight, even one of these special biscuits. Here's his passport, stamped from Berlin airport. So this man should have died in a plane crash in Germany yesterday, but instead he's in a car boot in Suffolk.

Lestrade: This is just friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene and listen to everything he has to say. And as far as possible, try not to punch him.

Holmes: Having driven to an isolated location and successfully committed a crime without a single witness, why would he then call the police and consult a detective? Fair play?
Inspector Carter (Danny Webb): He's trying to be clever. It's over-confidence.
Holmes: Did you see him? Morbidly obese. The undisguised halitosis of a single man living on his own. The right sleeve of an internet porn addict. And the breathing pattern of an untreated heart condition. Low self esteem, tiny IQ and a limited life expectancy. And you think he's an audacious criminal mastermind? {turning to his client} Don't worry, this is just stupid.
Client: What did you just say? Heart what?

Mycroft Holmes (Mark Gatiss): Just once can you two behave like grown-ups?
Watson: We solve crimes, I blog about it and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.

Mycroft: May I just apologize for the state of my little brother.
Harry: Full time occupation I imagine.

Holmes: Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients. I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases. Both ends is too much work. Good morning.
Mycroft: This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!
Holmes: Get off my sheet!
Mycroft: Or what?
Holmes: Or I'll just walk away.
Mycroft: I'll let you.
Watson: Boys, please. Not here.

Mycroft: I'll be [mother.]
Holmes: And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.

Holmes: You have a police force of sorts. Even a marginally Secret Service. Why come to me?
Harry: People do come to you for help, don't they Mr. Holmes?
Holmes: Hm. Not to date anyone with a navy.
Mycroft: This is a matter of the highest security and therefore of trust.
Watson: You don't trust your own Secret Service?
Mycroft: Naturally not. They all spy on people for money.

Mycroft: What do you know about this woman?
Holmes: Nothing whatsoever.
Mycroft: Then you should be paying more attention.

Holmes: Who is she?
Mycroft: Irene Adler. Professionally known as The Woman.
Watson: Professionally?
Mycroft: There are many names for what she does. She prefers dominatrix.
Holmes: Dominatrix.
Mycroft: Don't be alarmed. It has to do with sex.
Holmes: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft: How would you know?

Harry: Will you take the case?
Holmes: What case? Pay her. Now. And in full. As Ms. Adler remarks in her masthead, "know when you are beaten."
Mycroft: She doesn't want anything. She got in touch, she informed us that the photographs existed. She indicated that she had no intention to extort either money or favor.
Holmes: Oh, a power play. A power play with the most powerful family in Britain. Now that is a dominatrix. Oo, this is getting rather fun, isn't it.

Holmes: Text me the details. I'll be in touch by the end of the day.
Harry: Do you really think you'll have news by then?
Holmes: No, I think I'll have the photographs.
Harry: One can only hope you're as good as you seem to think.

Holmes: Can I have a box of matches?
Harry: I'm sorry?
Holmes: Or your cigarette lighter. Either will do.
Harry: I don't smoke.
Holmes: No, I know you don't. But your employer does.
Harry: We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. Holmes.
Holmes: I'm not the Commonwealth.
Watson: And that's as modest as he gets.

Irene Adler (Lara Pulver): Kate, we're going to have a visitor. I'll need a bit of time to get ready.
Kate: A long time?
Irene Adler: Ages.

Kate: What are you going to wear?
Irene Adler: My battle dress.
Kate: Lucky boy.

Irene Adler: I'm sorry to hear that you've been hurt. I don't think Kate caught your name.
Holmes: I'm so sorry, I'm—
Irene Adler: Oh, it's always hard to remember an alias when you've had a fright. Isn't it? {she snatches his clerical collar} There now. We're both defrocked. Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
Holmes: Ms. Adler, I presume.

Irene Adler: Look at those cheekbones. I could cut myself slapping that face. Would you like me to try?

Irene Adler: Do you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes? However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait.
Holmes: You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face?
Irene Adler: No, I think you're damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case it's yourself.

Irene Adler: Somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face I'd avoid your nose and your teeth too.
Could you put something on please? Ah, anything at all. Napkin.
Irene Adler: Why? Are you feeling exposed?
Holmes: I don't think John knows where to look.
Irene Adler: No. I think he knows exactly where. Not sure about you.

Irene Adler: The hiker with the bashed in head, how was he killed?
Holmes: That's not why I'm here.
Irene Adler: No no no, you're here for the photographs but that's never going to happen. And since we're here just chatting anyway...

Irene Adler: I thought you were looking for the photos now.
Holmes: No. Looking takes ages. I'm just going to find them. But you're moderately clever and we've got a moment so let's pass the time.

Irene Adler: I'd tell you the code right now, but you know what? I already have. Think.

Neilson (Todd Boyce): I'm assuming I missed something. From your reputation I'm assuming you didn't Mr. Holmes.

Irene Adler referring to the combination: Thank you. You were very observant.
Watson: Observant?
Irene Adler: I'm flattered.
Holmes: Don't be.

Holmes: All the photographs are on here, I presume.
Irene Adler: I have copies of course.
Holmes: No you don't.

Irene Adler: Now tell that sweet little posh thing the pictures are safe with me. But not for blackmail. Just for insurance. Besides, I might want to see her again. {Holmes tries to respond} Oh. No no no no. It's been a pleasure. Don't spoil it. This is how I want you to remember me. The woman who beat you.

Irene Adler: You know I was wrong about him. He did know where to look.

Holmes: The photographs are perfectly safe.
Mycroft: In the hands of a fugitive sex worker.
Holmes: She's not interested in blackmail. She wants... protection for some reason. I take it you [stood] down the police investigation into the shooting at her house.
Mycroft: How can we do anything while she has the photographs. Our hands are tied.
Holmes: She'd applaud your choice of words.

Mrs. Hudson (Una Stubbs): It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into danger like that. Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.
Mycroft: Oh shut up, Mrs. Hudson.
Holmes: Mycroft!
Mycroft: Apologies.
Mrs. Hudson: Thank you.
Holmes: Though do in fact shut up.

Mycroft: Irene Adler is no longer any concern of yours. From now on you will stay out of this.
Holmes: Oh, will I?
Mycroft: Yes Sherlock. You will.

Molly Hooper (Louise 'Loo' Brealey): Having our Christmas drinkies then?
Holmes: No stopping them, apparently.
Mrs. Hudson: It's the one day of the year where the boys have to be nice to me so it's always worth it.

Molly: You always say such horrible things. Every time. Always. Always...
Holmes: I am sorry. Forgive me. Merry Christmas, Molly Hooper.

Holmes: I think you're going to find Irene Adler tonight.
Mycroft: We already know where she is. As you were kind enough to point out, it hardly matters.
Holmes: No, I mean I think you're going to find her dead.

Holmes: Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?
Mycroft: All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock.
Holmes: This is low tar.
Mycroft: Well. You barely knew her.

Mycroft: Have you found anything?
Watson: No. Did he take the cigarette?
Mycroft: Yes.
Watson: Shit.

Watson: Looks like he's clean. We've tried all the usual places. Are you sure tonight's a danger night?
Mycroft: No. But then I never am. You have to stay with him, John.
Watson: I've got plans.
Mycroft: No.

Jeanette: You know my friends are so wrong about you. You're a great boyfriend.
Watson: Okay, that's good. I mean I always thought I was great.
Jeanette: And Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man.

Watson: Has he ever had any kind of girlfriend, boyfriend—a relationship—ever?
Mrs. Hudson: I don't know.
Watson: How can we not know?
Mrs. Hudson: He's Sherlock. How will we ever know what goes on in that funny old head.

Irene Adler: Hello Dr. Watson.
Watson: Tell him you're alive.
Irene Adler: He'd come after me.
Watson: I'll come after you if you don't.
Irene Adler: Hm, I believe you.

Irene Adler: Look, I made a mistake. I sent something to Sherlock for safe keeping and now I need it back, so I need your help.
Watson: No.
Irene Adler: It's for his own safety.
Watson: So's this: tell him you're alive.
Irene Adler: I can't.
Watson: Fine. I'll tell him. And I still won't help you.
Irene Adler: What do I say?
Watson: What do you normally say?! You've texted him a lot!
Irene Adler: Just the usual stuff.
Watson: There is no usual in this case.

Watson: You flirted with Sherlock Holmes?
Irene Adler: At him. He never replies.
Watson: No, Sherlock always replies. To everything. He's Mr. Punchline. He will outlive God trying to have the last word.
Irene Adler: Does that make me special?
Watson: I don't know, maybe.
Irene Adler: You jealous?
Watson: We're not a couple.
Irene Adler: Yes you are.

Watson: For the record, if anyone out there still cares, I'm not actually gay.
Irene Adler: Well I am. Look at us both. {they suddenly hear Sherlock's phone in the distance}

Lestrade: And exactly how many times did he fall out of the window?

Watson: She's in shock! And all over some stupid bloody camera phone. Where is it anyway?
Holmes: Safest place I know.
Mrs. Hudson: He left it in the pocket of his second best dressing gown, you clot. I managed to sneak it out when they thought I was having a cry.

Holmes: Where's John?
Irene Adler: He went out. A couple of hours ago.
Holmes: But I was just talking to him.
Irene Adler: He said you do that.

Irene Adler: Oh, Mr. Holmes, if it was the end of the world—if this was the very last night—would you have dinner with me?
Mrs. Hudson: Sherlock!
Irene Adler: Too late.
Holmes: It's not the end of the world, it's Mrs. Hudson.

Mycroft: The Coventry Conundrum. What do you think of my solution? The Flight of the Dead.
Holmes: The plane blows up in midair. Mission accomplished for the terrorists. Hundreds of casualties but nobody dies.
Mycroft: Neat, don't you think? You've been stumbling around the fringes of this one for ages. Or were you too bored to see the pattern?

Mycroft: The terrorist cells have been informed that we know about the bomb. We can't fool them now. We've lost everything. One fragment of one email. And months and years of planning. Finished.
Holmes: Your MOD man.
Mycroft: That's all it takes. One lonely naive man, desperate to show off. And a woman clever enough to make him feel special.
Holmes: You need to screen your defence people more carefully.
Mycroft: I'm not talking about the MOD man, Sherlock, I'm talking about you!

Irene Adler: Mr. Holmes, I think we need to talk.
Holmes: So do I. There are a number of aspects I'm still not quite clear on.
Irene Adler: Not you, Junior. You're done now.

Irene Adler: I imagine you'd like to sleep on it.
Mycroft: Thank you, yes.
Irene Adler: Too bad. Off you pop and talk to people.

Mycroft: You've been very... thorough. I wish our lot were half as good as you.
Irene Adler: I can't take all the credit. Had a bit of help. Jim Moriarty sends his love.
Mycroft: Yes, he's been in touch. Seems desperate for my attention. Which I'm sure can be arranged.

Mycroft: Here you are, the dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees. Nicely played.
Holmes: No.
Irene Adler: Sorry?
Holmes: I said, no. Very very close, but no. You got carried away. The game was too elaborate. You were enjoying yourself too much.
Irene Adler: No such thing as too much.
Holmes: Oh enjoying the thrill of the chase is fine. Craving the distraction of the game, I sympathize entirely. But sentiment, sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
Irene Adler: Sentiment. What are you talking about?
Holmes: You.
Irene Adler: Oh dear god, look at the poor man. You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes? The clever detective in the funny hat?
Holmes: No. Because I took your pulse.

Holmes: When we first met you told me that disguise is always a self portrait—how true of you. The combination to your safe, your measurements. But this, this is far more intimate. This is your heart. And you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you worked for. But you just couldn't resist it, could you? I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.
Irene Adler: Everything I said, it's not real. I was just playing the game.
Holmes: I know. And this is just losing. {I AM SHERLOCKED}.

Holmes: There you are, brother. I hope the contents make up for any inconvenience I may have caused you tonight.
Mycroft: I'm certain they will.
Holmes: If you're feeling kind, lock her up. Otherwise let her go. I doubt she'll survive long without her protection.
Irene Adler: Are you expecting me to beg?
Holmes: Yes.
Irene Adler: Please. You're right. I won't even last six months.
Holmes: Sorry about dinner.

Watson: Is that the file on Irene Adler?
Mycroft: Closed forever. I am about to go and inform my brother—or if you prefer, you are—that she somehow got herself into a witness protection scheme in America. New name, new identity. She will survive—and thrive. But he will never see her again.
Watson: Why would he care? He despised her at the end. Won't even mention her by name. Just The Woman.
Mycroft: Is that loathing or a salute? One of a kind, the one woman who matters.
Watson: He's not like that. He doesn't feel things that way. I don't think.

Mycroft: My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?
Watson: I don't know.
Mycroft: Neither do I. But initially he wanted to be a pirate.

Watson: He'll be okay with this. Witness protection, never seeing her again. He'll be fine.
Mycroft: I agree. That's why I decided to tell him that.
Watson: Instead of what?
Mycroft: She's dead. She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi two months ago and beheaded.
Watson: It's definitely her? She's done this before.
Mycroft: I was thorough this time. It would take Sherlock Holmes to fool me. And I don't think he was on hand, do you? So. What should we tell Sherlock?

Young Henry: Oh hello. What is it, dear? Are you alright? Are you lost?

Mrs. Hudson: How 'bout a nice cuppa? Perhaps you could put away your harpoon.
Holmes: I need something stronger than tea! Seven percent stronger.

Reporter: Dartmoor. It's always been a place of myth and legend. But is there something else lurking out here? Something very real. Because Dartmoor's also home to one of the government's most secret of operations. The chemical and biological research center. Which is said to be even more sensitive than Porton Down. Since the end of the Second World War there have been persistent stories about the Baskerville Experiments. Genetic mutations. Animals grown for the battlefield. There are many who believe that within this compound—in the heart of this ancient wilderness—there are horrors beyond imagining. But the real question is, Are all of them still inside?

Henry: I was just a kid. It was on the moor. It was dark, but I know what I saw. I know what killed my father.

Holmes: What did you see?
Henry Knight (Russell Tovey): Oh, I was just about to say.
Holmes: Yes, in a TV interview. I prefer to do my own editing.
Henry: Yes. Sorry, yes of course. Excuse me. {he pulls out a handkerchief}
Watson: In your own time.
Holmes: But quite quickly.

Holmes: Yes, good. Skipping to the night that your dad was violently killed. Where did that happen?
Henry: There's a place, it's a sort of local landmark called Dewar's Hollow. That's an ancient name for the devil.
Holmes: So?
Watson: Did you see the devil that night?
Henry: Yes. It was huge. Cold black fur with red eyes. It got him. Tore at him, tore him apart. I can't remember anything else. They found the next morning just wandering on the moor. My dad's body was never found.

Watson: Red eyes, cold black fur. Enormous... dog? Wolf?
Holmes: Or a genetic experiment.
Henry: Are you laughing at me, Mr. Holmes?
Holmes: Why, are you joking?
Henry: My dad was always going on about the things they were doing at Baskerville. About the type of monsters they were breeding there. People used to laugh at him. At least the TV people took me seriously.
Holmes: I assume it did wonders for Devon tourism.

Watson: Henry, whatever did happen to your father, it was twenty years ago. Why come to us now?
Henry: I'm not you can help me, Mr. Holmes, because you find it all so funny.
Holmes: Because of what happened last night.
Watson: Why? What happened last night?

Henry: That part doesn't change.
Louise Mortimer (Sasha Behar): What does?
Henry: There's something else. It's a word. "Liberty."
Dr. Mortimer: Liberty?
Henry: There's another word. "In". I-N. Liberty in. What do you think it means?

Watson: I couldn't help noticing on the map of the moor. A skull and crossbones?
Gary (Gordon Kennedy): Oh that.
Watson: Pirates?
Gary: Eh no. No. the Great Grimpen Minefield, they call it.
Watson: Oh right.
Gary: It's not what you think. It's the Baskerville testing site. It's been going for eighty-odd years. I'm not sure anyone knows what's there anymore.
Watson: Explosives?
Gary: Oh not just explosives. Break ina that place and if you're lucky you just get blowed up, so they say.

Fletcher (Stephen Wight): In the labs there—the really secret labs, he said he'd seen... terrible things. Rats as big as dogs, he said. And dogs. Dogs the size of horses.

Dr. Franklyn (Clive Mantle): And you are?
Corporal Lyons (Will Sharpe): Sorry, Dr. Franklyn. I'm just showing these gentlemen around.
Dr. Franklyn: Ah. New faces. How nice. Careful you don't get stuck here, though. I only came to fix a tire.

Holmes: Stapleton. I knew I knew your name.
Dr. Stapleton (Amelia Bullmore): Doubt it.
Holmes: People say there's no such thing as coincidence. What dull lives they must lead. {he holds up an accusatory BLUEBELL}
Dr. Stapleton: Have you been talking to my daughter?

Major Barrymore (Simon Paisley Day): What the hell's going on?!
Dr. Franklyn: It's alright, Major. I know exactly who these gentlemen are.
Major Barrymore: You do?
Dr. Franklyn: Yeah, I'm getting a little slow on faces but Mr. Holmes isn't someone I expected to show up in these parts.
Holmes: Well, I—
Dr. Franklyn: Good to see you again, Mycroft.

Holmes: Thank you.
Dr. Franklyn: This is about Henry Knight, isn't it? I thought so. I knew he wanted help, but I didn't realize he was going to contact Sherlock Holmes. Oh don't worry, I know who you really are. I'm never off your web site. Thought you'd be wearing the hat though.
Holmes: That wasn't my hat.
Dr. Franklyn: I hardly recognize you without the hat.
Holmes: Wasn't my hat.
Dr. Franklyn: I love the blog too, Dr. Watson.
Watson: Oh cheers.

Holmes: I never did ask, Dr. Franklyn. What is it exactly that you do here?
Dr. Franklyn: Mr. Holmes, I would love to tell you. But then I'd have to kill you.
Holmes: That would be tremendously ambitious of you.

Holmes about Dr. Franklyn: He knew your father.
Henry: Yeah.
Holmes: But he works at Baskerville. Didn't your dad have a problem with that?
Henry: Well, mates are mates, aren't they? I mean look at you and John.
Holmes: What about us?
Henry: Well I mean, he's a pretty straightforward bloke and you...

Watson: Did you hear that?
Henry: We saw it. We saw it!
Holmes: No. I didn't see anything.
Henry: What are you talking about?
Holmes: I didn't see anything.

Watson: Okay, what about his father? He wasn't one of your patients. Wasn't he some sort of conspiracy nutter— theorist.
Grace Mortimer (Rosalind Knight): You're only a nutter if you're wrong.
Watson: And was he wrong?
Dr. Mortimer: I should think so.

Henry: Listen, last night. Why did you say you hadn't seen anything? I mean I only saw the hound for a minute—
Holmes: Hound.
Henry: What?
Holmes: Why do you call it a hound? Why a hound?
Henry: Why? What do you mean?
Holmes: It's odd, isn't it? Strange choice of words. Archaic. It's why I took the case. "Mr. Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound." Why say "hound"?

Holmes: What the hell are you doing here?
Lestrade: Oh, nice to see you too. I'm on a holiday, would you believe.
Holmes: No. I wouldn't.

Holmes: I'm waiting for an explanation, Inspector. Why are you here?
Lestrade: I told you, I'm on a holiday.
Holmes: You're brown as a nut. You're clearly just back from your holidays.
Lestrade: Maybe I fancied another one.
Holmes: Oh this is Mycroft, isn't it?
Lestrade: Now look—
Holmes: Of course it is! One mention of Baskerville and he sends down my handler to, to spy on me incognito. Is that why you're calling yourself Greg?
Watson: That's his name.
Holmes: Is it?
Watson: Yes.

Lestrade: I suppose he likes having the same faces back together. It appeals to his... his...
Watson: Aspergers?

Major Barrymore: I don't know what the hell you expect to find here anyway.
Holmes: Perhaps the truth.
Major Barrymore: Oh I see. The big coat should have told me. You're one of the conspiracy lot, aren't you?

Dr. Stapleton: Oh. Back again? What's on your mind this time?
Holmes: Murder, Dr. Stapleton. Refined, cold-blooded murder. Will you tell little Kirstie what happened to Bluebell or shall I?
Dr. Stapleton: Okay. What do you want?
Holmes: Can I borrow your microscope?

Dr. Stapleton: Size isn't a problem. Not at all. The only limits are ethics and the law and both those things can be very flexible. But not here, not at Baskerville.

Holmes: Get out, I need to go to my mind palace.
Dr. Stapleton: Your what?
Watson: He's not going to be doing much talking for awhile. We may as well go.
Dr. Stapleton: His what?
Watson: His mind palace. It's a memory technique. A sort of mental map. He plots a map with a location. It doesn't have to be a real place. And then you deposit memories there that theoretically you could never forget anything. All you have to do is find your way back to it.
Dr. Stapleton: So this imaginary location could be anything. A house or a street? But he said palace. He said it was palace.
Watson: Yeah, well he would, wouldn't he.

Holmes: Someone needed to keep you quiet. Needed to keep you as a child to reassert the dream that you both clung on to. Because you had started to remember. Remember now, Henry. You've got to remember. What happened here when you were a little boy.
Henry: I thought it had got my dad. The hound. Oh Jesus, I don't— I don't know anymore! I don't ...

Henry: This means that my dad was right! He found something out, hadn't he? And that's why you killed him because he was right. And he found you right in the middle of an experiment.

Moriarty sits in a cell
Mycroft: Alright. Let him go.

Lestrade: And there's one person we have to thank for giving us the decisive leads. With all his customary diplomacy and tact.
Watson: Sarcasm.
Holmes: Yes.

Sgt. Sally Donovan (Vinette Robinson): Sir, there's been a break-in.
Lestrade: Not my division.
Sgt. Donovan: You'll want it.

Jim Moriarty: No rush.

Come and play.
Tower Hill.
Jim Moriarty x.

Holmes: There are two types of fans.
Kitty Reilly: Oh?
Holmes: "Catch me before I kill again." Type A.
Kitty Reilly: Uh huh. What's type B?
Holmes: Your bedroom's just a taxi ride away.
Kitty Reilly: Guess which one I am.
Holmes: Neither.
Kitty Reilly: Really?
Holmes: No, you're not a fan at all.

Kitty Reilly: There's all sorts of gossip in the press about you. Sooner or later you're gonna need someone on your side. Someone to set the record straight.
Holmes: You think you're the girl for that job, do you?
Kitty Reilly: I'm smart. And you can trust me. Totally.

Barrister: Would you describe him as—
Holmes: Leading.
Barrister: What?
Holmes: Can't do that, you're leading the witness.

Judge: Do you think you could survive for a few minutes without showing off?! {apparently not}

Moriarty: Couldn't cope with an unfinished melody.
Holmes: Neither can you, that's why you've come.
Moriarty: But be honest. You're just a tiny bit pleased.
Holmes: What, with the verdict?
Moriarty: With me. Back on the streets. Every fairy tale needs a good old fashioned villain.

Moriarty: You need me, or you're nothing. Because we're just alike, you and I. Except you're boring. You're on the side of the angels.
Holmes: Got to the jury of course.
Moriarty: Got into the Tower of London. You think I can't worm my way into twelve hotel rooms?

Holmes: How are you going to do it? "Burn me"?
Moriarty: Oh that's the problem. The Final Problem. Have you worked out what it is yet? What's the final problem? I did tell you. But did you listen?

Moriarty: How hard do you find it? Having to say, "I don't know."?
Holmes: I don't know.
Moriarty: Oh that's clever. That's very clever. [...] Speaking of clever, have you told your little friends yet?
Holmes: Told them what?
Moriarty: Why I broke into all those places and never took anything.
Holmes: No.
Moriarty: But you understand.
Holmes: Obviously.
Moriarty: Off you go then.
Holmes: You want me to tell you what you already know.
Moriarty: No, I want you to prove that you know it.
Holmes: You didn't take anything because you don't need to.
Moriarty: Good.
Holmes: You'll never need to take anything ever again.
Moriarty: Very good. Because...
Holmes: Because nothing. Nothing in the Bank of England, the Tower of London or Pentonville Prison could possibly match the value of the key that could get you in to all three.
Moriarty: I can open any door anywhere with a few tiny lines of computer code. No such thing as a private bank account now, they're all mine. No such thing as secrecy. I own secrecy. Nuclear codes. I could blow up NATO in alphabetical order. In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown.
Holmes: You were advertising all the way through the trial. You were showing the world what you can do.
Moriarty: And you were helping. Big client list. Rogue governments. Intelligence communities. Terror cells. They all want me. Suddenly, I'm Mr. Sex.
Holmes: You could break any bank. But you care about the highest bidder.
Moriarty: I don't. I just like to watch them all competing. "Daddy loves me the best!" Aren't ordinary people adorable? Well you know. You've got John. I should get myself a live-in one.

Holmes: Why are you doing all of this?
Moriarty: It would be so funny.
Holmes: You don't want money or power, not really. What is it all for?
Moriarty: I want to solve the problem. Our problem. The Final Problem. It's going to start very soon, Sherlock. The fall. But don't be scared. Falling's just like flying except there's a more permanent destination.
Holmes: Never liked riddles.
Moriarty: Learn to. Because I owe you a fall, Sherlock. I. O. U.

Two months later

Mycroft: Tradition, John. Our traditions define us.
Watson: So total silence is traditional, is it? You can't even say, "Pass the sugar."
Mycroft: Three-quarters of the diplomatic service and half the front bench all sharing one tea trolley. It's for the best, believe me. We don't want a repeat of 1972.

Mycroft: He's taken a flat at Baker Street. Two doors down from you.
Watson: Hm. I was thinking of doing a drinks thing for the neighbors.
Mycroft: I'm not sure you'll want to. Suleimani. Albanian hit squad. Expertly trainer killer living less than twenty feet from your front door.
Watson: Well it's a great location. Jubilee Line's handy.

Watson: I'm sensing a pattern here.
Mycroft: In fact four top international assassins relocated within spitting distance of Two Hundred and Twenty-one B. Anything you care to share with me?
Watson: I'm moving?

Mycroft: We both know what's coming, John. Moriarty is obsessed. He's sworn to destroy his only rival.
Watson: So you want me to watch out for your brother because he won't accept your help.
Mycroft: If it's not too much trouble.

Miss Mackenzie: You have to believe me.
Holmes: I do. I just wanted you to speak quickly. {to the officers} Miss Mackenzie will need to breathe into a bag now.

Holmes: Brilliant, Anderson.
Anderson: Really?
Holmes: Yes. Brilliant impression of an idiot.

Molly Hooper: You're a bit like my dad. He's dead. No, sorry—
Holmes: Molly, please don't feel the need to make conversation. It's really not your area.
Molly: When he was dying, he was always cheerful, he was lovely. Except when he thought no one could see. I saw him once. He looked sad.
Holmes: Molly.
Molly: You look sad. When you think he can't see you.

Molly: Are you okay? Don't just say you are, because I know what that means—looking sad when you think no one can see you.
Holmes: You can see me.
Molly: I don't count.

Holmes: What could I need from you?
Molly: Nothing. I don't know. You could probably say thank you, actually.
Holmes: Thank you.

Lestrade: Well don't let it get to you. I always feel like screaming when you walk into a room. In fact so do most people.

Moriarty: Hullo. Are you ready for a story? This is the story of Sir Boast-a-lot.

Donovan: The footprint. That's all he has. The footprint...
Lestrade: Yeah well you know what he's like. CSI: Baker Street.
Donovan: Well our boys couldn't have done it.
Lestrade: That's why we need him. He's better.
Donovan: That's one explanation.
Lestrade: What's the other?

Moriarty: Sir Boast-a-lot was the bravest and cleverest knight at the Round Table. But soon the other knights began to grow tired of his stories about how brave he was and how many dragons he'd slain. And soon they began to wonder, Are Sir Boast-a-lot's stories even true? Oh no...

Donovan: Only he could have found that evidence. And then the girl screams her head off when she sees him. A man she has never seen before. Unless she had seen him before.
Lestrade: What's your point?
Donovan: You know my point, you just don't want to think about it.

Moriarty: So one of the knights went to King Arthur and said, "I don't believe Sir Boast-a-lot's stories. He's just a big old liar who makes things up to make himself look good." And then, even the king began to wonder. But that wasn't the end of Sir Boast-a-lot's problem. No. That wasn't the Final Problem. The end.

Holmes: Stop the cab! Stop the cab! What was that?
Moriarty: No charge.

Holmes: You can't kill an idea, can you? Not once it's made a home. {he taps his forehead} There.
Lestrade: Will you come?
Holmes: One photograph. That's his next move. First the scream, then a photograph of me being taken in for questioning. He wants to destroy me inch-by-inch. It is a game, Lestrade. And not one I'm willing to play. Give my regards to Sergeant Donovan.

Donovan: Sherlock Holmes, I'm arresting you on suspicion of abduction and kidnapping.

Holmes: Tell me what you want from me. Tell me!
Assassin: He left it at your flat.
Holmes: Who?
Assassin: Moriarty.
Holmes: What?
Assassin: The computer key code.
Holmes: Of course. He's selling it. The program he used to break into the Tower. He planted it when he came around.

Moriarty (Brook): You said that they wouldn't find me here, you said that I'd be safe here.
Kitty Reilly: You are safe. Richard, I'm a witness. They won't harm you in front of witnesses.
Watson: That's your source? Moriarty is Richard Brook?
Kitty Reilly: Of course he's Richard Brook. There is no Moriarty. There never has been. Look him up.
Watson: What are you talking about?
Kitty Reilly: Rich Brook. An actor Sherlock Holmes hired to be Moriarty.

Holmes: You're wrong, Molly. You do count. You've always counted and I've always trusted you. But you were right. I'm not okay.
Molly: Tell me what's wrong.
Holmes: Molly, I think I'm going to die.
Molly: What do you need?
Holmes: If I wasn't everything that you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?
Molly: What do you need?
Holmes: You.

Watson: She has really done her homework, Miss Reilly. Things that only someone close to Sherlock would know.
Mycroft: Ah.
Watson: Have you seen your brother's address book lately? Two names. Yours and mine. And Moriarty didn't get this stuff from me.
Mycroft: John—
Watson: So, how does it work then, your relationship? You go out for a coffee now and then, eh? You and Jim. Your brother, and you blabbed about his entire life to this maniac.
Mycroft: I never intend— I never dreamt.
Watson: See this is what you were trying to tell me, isn't it? "Watch his back because I've made a mistake." How'd you meet him?
Mycroft: People like him, we know about them. We watch them. But James Moriarty... The most dangerous criminal mind the world has ever seen. And in his pocket, the ultimate weapon. The key code. A few lines of computer code that can unlock any door.
Watson: And you abducted him to try and find the key code.
Mycroft: We interrogated him for weeks.
Watson: And?
Mycroft: He wouldn't play along. He just sat there, staring into the darkness. The only thing that made him open up... I could get him to talk. Just a little. But...
Watson: In return you had to offer him Sherlock's life story.

Watson: Moriarty wanted Sherlock destroyed and you have given him the perfect ammunition.
Mycroft: John. I'm sorry.
Watson: Oh please.
Mycroft: Tell him, would you.

Moriarty: Well. Here we are at last. You and me, Sherlock. And our problem. The Final Problem. "Staying Alive". So boring, isn't it? It's just... staying. All my life I've been searching for distractions. And you were the best distraction and now I don't even have you. Because I've beaten you. And you know what? In the end it easy. It was easy. Now I've got to go back to playing with the ordinary people. And it turns out you're ordinary. Just like all of them. Oh well.

Moriarty: Did you almost start to wonder if I was real? Did I nearly get ya?
Holmes: Richard Brook.
Moriarty: Nobody seems to get the joke. But you do.
Holmes: Of course.
Moriarty: 'Atta boy.
Holmes: Rich Brook in German is Reichenbach. The case that made my name.
Moriarty: Just tryin' to have some fun. {Holmes starts tapping} Good. You got that too.
Holmes: Beats like digits. Every beat is a one, every rest is a zero. Binary code.That's why all those assassins tried to save my life. It was hidden on me, hidden inside my head. A few simple lines of computer code that can break into any system.
Moriarty: Told all my clients. Last one to Sherlock is a sissy.

Moriarty: I knew you'd fall for it. That's your weakness. You always want everything to be clever. Now shall we finish the game? One final act. Glad you chose a tall building nice way to do it.
Holmes: Do it. Do what? Yes, of course. My suicide.
Moriarty: "Genius detective proved to be a fraud." I read it in the paper so it must be true. I love newspapers. Fairy tales... and pretty grim ones too.

Holmes: I can still prove that you created an entirely false identity.
Moriarty: Oh just kill yourself. It's a lot less effort.

Holmes: You're insane.
Moriarty: You're just getting that now? Okay, let me give you a little extra incentive. Your friends will die if you don't.
Holmes: John.
Moriarty: Not just John. Everyone.

Moriarty: Three bullets. Three gunmen. There's no stopping them now. Unless my people see you jump. You can have me arrested, you can torture me. You can do anything you like with me, but nothing's going to prevent them from pulling the trigger. Your only three friends in the world will die. Unless—
Holmes: Unless I kill myself and complete your story.
Moriarty: You gotta admit, that's sexier.
Holmes: And I die in disgrace.
Moriarty: Of course. That's the point of this.

Moriarty: Off you pop. I told you how this ends. Your death is the only thing that's going to call off the killers. I'm certainly not going to do it.

Moriarty: What?! What is it? What did I miss?
Holmes: You're not going to do it. So the killers can be called off then. There's a recall code or a word or a number. I don't have to die if I've got you.
Moriarty: Oh, you think you can make me stop the order? You think you can make me do that?
Holmes: Yes. So do you.
Moriarty: Sherlock, your big brother and all the King's horses couldn't make me do a thing I didn't want to.
Holmes: Yes, but I'm not my brother, remember. I am you. Prepared to do anything. Prepared to burn. Prepared to do what ordinary people won't do. You want me to hake hands with you in hell, I shall not disappoint you.
Moriarty: Nah. You talk big but you're ordinary. You're ordinary. You're on the side of the angels.
Holmes: Oh, I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
Moriarty: No. You're not. I see. You're not ordinary. No. You're me. You're me. Thank you. Sherlock Holmes.

Moriarty: As long as I'm alive, you can save your friends. You've got a way out. Well good luck with that. {he kills himself}

Watson: I'm angry.
Mrs. Hudson: It's okay, John. There's nothing unusual in that. That's the way he made everyone feel. All the marks on my table and the noise. Firing guns off at one in the morning.
Watson: Yeah.
Mrs. Hudson: Bloody specimens in my fridge. Imagine! Keeping bodies where there's food. And the fighting! Drove me up the wall with all his carryings on!
Watson: Yeah, listen. I'm not actually that angry, okay?
Mrs. Hudson: Okay. I'll leave you alone to... you know.