Tim Bayliss: There's no such thing as a stupid question. At least, right now we'll pretend there isn't.

Pembleton: You're not Catholic and you took communion?
Bayliss: Yeah. Is that wrong?
Pembleton: If my god wins, you're screwed.

Munch: What if I fail and all our dreams crash and burn?
Bayliss: It's very simple then. Meldrich and I will harm you.

Emma Zoole: I would love to bronze your head.
Bayliss: I beg your pardon?

Russert: So, Mary's pregnant?
Bayliss: Oh no. I didn't say that.
Russert: Frank is your partner and I'm a detective and you're a bad liar.

Bayliss: You never say please. You never say thank you.
Pembleton: Please don't be an idiot. Thank you.

Kellerman: I just want you to know that I'm here for you. if you want a hug, I'd be happy to give you one.
Bayliss: A hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: Do you and Lewis hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: A lot?
Kellerman: No, not a lot.
Bayliss: But enough.
Kellerman: What do you mean?
Bayliss: Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?
Kellerman: Forget I brought this up.
Bayliss: No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.

Bayliss: I'm a detective, Frank. I'm a keen observer of the human condition. I pick up on the subtlest clues, I react to the slightest suggestion. In short, I deduct.
Pembleton: Who told you?
Tim Bayliss: Brodie.

Kellerman: You sure you want me with you?
Bayliss: Yeah sure, why not?
Kellerman: I don't know. Uh, last time we worked together you were kind of snarky.
Bayliss: Snarky?
Kellerman: Yeah, snarky. You know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butthead.

Pembleton: Where's Brodie?
Munch: PBS aired his documentary. He won an Emmy.
Bayliss: An Emmy? They give those things to anybody.

Bayliss: Look, it's not a permanent thing. I'm not asking for a long term commitment.
Munch: I understand. You stayed with Pembleton for six years. He broke your heart, and now you're just looking for a one-nighter, huh?
Bayliss: Yeah, something like that.