Quotes from Gossip Girl
Season Three
Reversals of Fortune
Gossip Girl: Welcome back, Upper East Siders. After a long, hot summer away I see it didn't take much time for you to dirty up the clean slates I gave you. My inbox is overflowing, so let's get to the good stuff shall we? potted: Chuck Bass up to his old tricks. Poor B. I guess nothing good lasts forever.
Eric: You sure your dad doesn't know?
Jenny: No, totally. I mean, we hid all the evidence. Look, Dan doesn't even know. He was prereading all his books for college. And I snuck onto his laptop and might have disabled his Serena van der Woodsen Google Alert.
Eric: But what happens when we get back to the city?
Jenny: Then it's Serena's problem. As for now we made her a promise. And it is very important to keep those. Even if they were asked via drunken text from a Turkish pay-as-you-go phone.
Dan: Our bags are packed, the house is closed up, but the real question remains: now that you've spent your whole summer drinking your coffee out of Cece's china will it taste as good coming out of your Welcome Back Kotter mug at home?
Rufus: Sure it was great out here but I like the real world too. Well I mean since we'll be at Lily's it's the better smelling, better thread count version of the real world but still.
Hey, you guys aren't ready? Serena's going to be home by six.
Eric: How can she even greet us when she gets here? Isn't she taking a vow of silence for her month at the ashram?
Dan: I don't know, that eat-pray-love thing of hers is awesome but I just highly doubt she can keep her mouth shut for a whole month.
Nate: Well it's a good thing the flight attendants dimmed the cabin lights over the Atlantic.
Bree: Well it's an even better thing that my car got a flat on the way to Heathrow and I missed the plane that I was supposed to be on. Otherwise I would have been sitting in seat 3B of an entirely different plane. Waking up with an entirely different passenger in seat 3A.
Nate: Alright so now that we're back on our own turf do I at least get your number? Maybe your last name.
Bree: A little mystery never hurt anyone.
Nate: Oh really? C'mon, please. You gotta give me something to go on here.
Bree: OKay. Ah, well we are going to the same school.
Nate: Yeah, and Columbia's kind of a big one. Especially when you factor in graduate school.
Bree: You caught that. See you're a better detective than you think. Well, my car is waiting.
Nate: Oh, are you done with that. I'll take it. sees the Buckley headline. On second thought—
Bree: You have a problem with the Buckley's?
Nate: Yeah, well that right-wing nut job called
William van der Bilt a deviant for lobbying against DOMA.
Bree: Maybe that's because William van der Bilt called Jeb Buckley a cokehead and a cheater.
Nate: What, are you saying it isn't cheating if you get your congressional aide pregnant?
Bree: You're Nate Archibald.
Nate: And you're Bree Buckley.
Serena: I'm really sorry about yesterday. I thought after the whole arrest scandal, out of sight out of mind. I had no idea it would be worse when I got back.
Rufus: You've apologized enough, Serena. No one's blaming you. Now that those vulture's have the first shot of your return I'm sure they'll leave you alone. It's not like you're going to get arrested again.
Blair: Summer was great. We had a lot of fun. Summer's over.
Vanessa: Hi.
Dan: What— Vanessa? What are you doing here?
Vanessa: Nice suit.
Dan: You couldn't judge me enough in New York, you had to follow me to another state to do it too?
Serena: Hey, what's— what's going on here?
Carter: Ah, your friend's trying to have me removed.
Serena: Right. Because you're stalking me.
Dan: You don't have to talk to him.
Carter: You told him I was stalking you? You want to tell him the truth or should I?
Dan: What's the truth?
Serena: Yeah Carter, what's the truth?
Carter: Sooner or later you're going to be alone with no one taking your picture. What are you going to do then?
Blair: Serena, what's he talking about?
Nate: I'm good at secret relationships. I've had a bit of practice.
Serena: Why won't you leave me alone Carter? You're not my boyfriend.
Carter: No, but I seem to be the only one you tell your secrets to.
Serena: Well I guess that was a mistake.
Carter: Dropping your dress, stealing a horse—all that is is a cry for attention.
Serena: I don't need to cry for attention. I'm getting plenty on my own in case you haven't noticed.
Carter: Yeah, plenty from everyone
except the one you want it from.
Serena: That's not true.
Carter: He didn't want to see you Serena.
Serena: That's not what happened.
Dan: All I do know is that Lily's mother is very sick and my dad is struggling just to keep it together. Not to mention my family is generally in the middle of a transition. So please—please!—give me a break with the "rich people suck" thing.
Vanessa: I don't care if you're rich. Which, you aren't by the way. Ride in a limo, break a hundred, that's fine. But if you're going to be in this world, be yourself in this world. Because I actually like that guy. And I hope he's the one that turns up at NYU.
Blair: What if we need games? What if without them we're boring?
Chuck: We could never be boring.
Blair: You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.
Chuck: I'm not Chuck Bass without you.
The Freshmen
Blair: I can't rule the NYU masses from the Upper East Side. I need to spend time in the dorm to establish myself as queen.
Chuck: It's not Constance, Blair. The only queens are the ones with tickets to see Liza at Carnegie Hall.
Blair: Let's make it clear from the start: we don't know each other here.
Dan: Works for me.
Vanessa: Me too.
Gossip Girl: Rah rah sis boom bah. Georgina's pulled a coup d'etat. This is going to be a blast.
Serena: Do you know you're more afraid of my mother than I am.
Chuck: I told Rufus about Brown because I was actually worried about you. to the investors Sorry to have wasted your time.
Dan: Blair what the hell are you doing?
Blair: Georgina was turning everyone against me. You were just a casualty in the battle for social dominance. But don't worry, your loyalty has been rewarded.
Your name's on the list at The Monkey Bar. to Vanessa Yours isn't.
Vanessa: Georgina wasn't turning people against you, Blair. You tried to bribe into being your friend with sushi parties and gift bags and nobody liked it.
Vanessa: You know, just because someone has to be on top doesn't mean it has to be Blair.
Dan: College is supposed a place where you're not judged by what you believe or the friends you make. You're here to make new friends. Start over.
Rufus: If you and Eric will let me, I'd really like to be more to you than Lily's most recent husband. Let me help you with this.
Serena: Wow. I, uh, I would really appreciate that Rufus.
Blair: It was so much easier when it was just about where we sat on the Met steps.
Serena: We've been here, done this.
Blair: I was so good at it.
Serena: Well then it's time for a new challenge. For both of us.
Carter: What do you want?
Serena: There's a reason I always come back to you Carter. And it's not because you're my bad habit.
Blair: You were right about the dorms. The lighting is awful. You okay?
Chuck: I am now.
The Lost Boy
Gossip Girl: Morning in New York. Time to wake up from bad dreams, roll out of the beds we've made, and start making plans for a brighter future.
Jenny: Dad, Scott's been spending a lot of time here lately.
Rufus: Yeah he's a good kid. Good guitar player too.
Serena: If you want to date Georgina then more power to you. I would just check to make sure that there's not an ice pick under the bed.
Dan: We're not dating. We are just hanging out.
Serena: Where are you going?
Blair: No idea. I officially have nowhere left to go.
My roommate is a nympho with a sock fetish, I have no friends at school, and now my boyfriend would rather obsess about a restaurateur than spend quality time with me. And hasn't, by the way, in five days.
Gossip Girl: They say honesty is the best policy.
Scott: My name isn't Adler. It's Rosin. I'm Rufus and Lily's son.
Serena: If you don't trust me then what are we doing?
Carter: I'm not sure.
Gossip Girl: Sorry Vanessa. Looks like the price of truth was just too rich for Scott's blood.
Blair: S. What are you doing?
Serena: What are you guys doing sabotaging Carter? Three bottles of '95 Dom on his hotel room service bill. One of your favorites if I recall.
Chuck: So we started a stealth campaign to destroy his credibility. The room service bill, the girl on the street—
Blair: The warrant.
Serena: What warrant?
Blair: Well he might want to take a DNA sample down to the 24th Precinct tomorrow.
Serena: I went looking for him.
Blair: Who?
Serena: My father. I found out he was getting remarried two years ago in Santorini.
Chuck: Finally. What happened in Santorini?
Serena: I wanted to see him but I didn't want anyone to know. So I went to Carter. He said he had access to a boat. When the police picked us up on the way to the wedding I realized access meant stolen.
Carter promised he'd make it up to me. I had no idea he's been looking for my father himself.
Gossip Girl: Anyone want to start the bidding on what happens next? Going once, going twice. XOXO —Gossip Girl
Dan de Fleurette
Blair: NYU is hell.
Chuck: Well what do you expect from a place where the men wear sandals.
Chuck: Sure you said cram session and not the annual Waldorf sleep over?
Blair: Fine. I'm hosting the sleep over. But Jenny Humphrey is destroying everything I worked for. And those girls deserve to learn the meaning of aristocracy.
Chuck: We both know it's not about that.
Blair: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Chuck: I need you. You're fooling yourself if you don't think you were born to rule this school.
Jenny: People change, Chuck.
Chuck: Not you. Not about this. Jenny Humphrey who used to sit in Brooklyn and watch the lights across the water. Who went toe-to-toe with Blair Waldorf and actually won her respect. You can't tell me that girl's not still in there.
Serena: I got a job with a publicist. I thought if you saw me working you would feel better about Brown.
Lily: Right, yes, because a year of parties and premieres is a worthy alternative to an Ivy League education.
Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass. And I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You'd really insult me like this?
Blair: That's not how it is.
Chuck: That's exactly how it is. So next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember: I'm Chuck Bass. And I love you.
Rufus: Lil, she's going to be okay.
Lily: This is your fault.
Rufus: That's not fair.
Lily: Not fair? I go away to take care of my mother, and I come back and my daughter's not going to college. I trusted you.
Rufus: Then trust me now. Don't force her.
Rufus Getting Married
Chuck: So Bree, you went home last week.
Bree: Yeah. Tried to mend the "I'm dating a van der Bilt" fence.
Didn’t work. We're Southern, so family loyalty’s real big down there.
Chuck: I wasn't aware you knew Carter.
Bree: Yeah. Our families used to vacation together on Sea Island. I've been trying to track him down.
Nate: So you're happy with Chuck. Don't I deserve to be happy as well?
Blair: Trust me Nate. I know women. And none of us are that nice.
Lily: I'm not angry at you, Serena. I should have been here this summer to help you with the decision instead of leaving you here with another man who doesn't get it.
Serena: Mom, what are you talking about? You and Rufus are the perfect couple.
Rufus: Well we can keep asking each other if we can do this. We can keep planning and talking adjusting and talking some more. Or we can just leap. So let's leap. Let's get married.
Lily: We're already getting married, Rufus.
Rufus: I mean soon. I mean tomorrow. We leap.
Lily: Oh my god. Yes. We leap.
Chuck: I'm giving you a choice. You can go to the wedding and tell Serena the ugly truth. Even if by some chance she can stomach you after that, you still have to deal with Bree. And her family. And a little thing I like to call "Southern Justice".
Carter: Or?
Chuck: I'm getting sick of being your travel agent. This ticket's the last. And it's one way.
Rufus: That was—
Georgina: Your love child. Not dead. Congratulations. It's a boy.
Lily: What's the point?
Rufus: The point is we can still find him.
Lily: Well if we do, after what I just did— What am I supposed to say to him?
Rufus: That we're his parents. And we're here for him. That love can fix things.
Lily: We both know that's not true.
Rufus: You know what? I don't.
Gossip Girl: Spotted: A family reunited. And it feels so good.
Lily: Well it took twenty years but we finally made it.
Rufus: I wouldn't have done it any other way.
Enough About Eve
Woo! Replacements!
Dan: We just started dating. Isn't it a little soon for "Meet the Parents"?
Vanessa: Not for Olivia. She seems really easygoing and into you.
Jenny: Yeah. Seriously Dan. Play the parent card. People like you more when they meet your family.
Olivia: So what are you gonna do this weekend to thank me?
Dan: You know, actually, about that. I was thinking I would invite you to the Parent-Freshman Dinner with me and my parents. I know you're probably exhausted—
Olivia: I would love to.
Woo! Gina Torres!
Rufus: Hey. You made it!
Gabriela: Rufus. Come here. Would you let me look at you! Lay off the caffeine. It's giving you wrinkles.
Rufus: Eh. I'm just sorry Arlo couldn't make it.
Gabriela: He says hello. He had to finish installing solar panels on the chicken coop at the co-op.
Blair: Are you upset because you kissed a guy?
Chuck: I'm upset because it's somebody that wasn't you. You really think I've never kissed a guy before?
Blair: Love me?
Chuck: Always.
Gabriela: I just wanted to say, tonight I will promise to keep an open mind about your school. About everything.
Vanessa: When you hear my toast I think you'll understand why this is the right place for me.
Serena: And what happens to Carter. You just used him?
Nate: Come on Serena. The guy proposed to PJ’s sister to pay off his gambling debt. Wake up. The guy's hardly innocent.
But I am sorry I had to lie to you.
Serena: No you're not. But you will be.
Vanessa: You stole the toast.
Blair: I was willing to do what was necessary. Including lying to Chuck. The one person who trusts me more than anyone. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to give my toast.
Vanessa: Actually Blair. Congratulations. You just did.
Gossip Girl: Sorry ladies. Les jeux sont fait. Thanks for playing. Each other.
Lily: Blair, whatever you needed Chuck to do, do you really think he would have refused you?
Blair: No. He'd never say no. To anything. I messed up, didn't I?
Lily: Yes. Yes you really did.
Carter: I saw the way you looked at me at the wedding. And I see the way you're looking at me now. I think I'd rather have you hate me than feel sorry for me.
Gabriela: I think it's time for you to consider who this place is turning into.
Chuck: What do you want Blair?
Blair: Forgiveness. I'm so sorry Chuck. I made a mistake. I know there's no excuse but, it's just a kiss.
Chuck: The people you manipulate. I know how little respect you have for them.
Blair: But not you. I don't feel that way about you. And I won't ever do it again. I promise.
It was a mistake.
Gossip Girl: When it comes to family we're all still children at heart. No matter how old we get, we always need a place to call home. Because without the people you love most you can't help but feel all alone in the world.
Vanessa: You want it?
Blair: Thanks.
Gossip Girl: Fortunately, misery loves company. Well. For now at least. XOXO —Gossip Girl
How to Succeed in Bassness
October 26, 2009
The Grandfather: Part II
November 2, 2009