Gossip Girl: Unlike the rest of us, sex, lies and scandal never take a vacation. Instead, they take the Long Island Expressway and head east. To the Hamptons. Some would say summer is their busiest season. Think Park Avenue. But with tennis whites and ban de soleil. The players change, but the game remains the same.

Jenny: I was hoping I could show you something I've been working on.
Laurel: This isn't school. I don't look at your work.

Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey.

Chuck: You're lying.
Blair: I am not!
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.

Serena: It was so romantic, what you did. Showing up here. And it feels so right to be together.
Dan: But you're having second thoughts.
Serena: No. I, I just think that we should think before we get back together. Right?
Dan: Yeah, I, I thought this meant we were back together.

Blair: Marcus dated the descendant of Princess Grace. His consort needs to be able to host royal dinners and hobnob with oligarchs and dictators.
Serena: Well if you can't find common ground with a dictator I don't know who can.

Serena: Who are we kidding? What do you say we just forget about thinking and follow our hearts.
Dan: You sure it's your heart you're following?

Serena: Eleanor comes home today. You excited she finally gets to meet Marcus?
Blair: And see why he's so wonderful. It's not often you find a man who's intelligent, sophisticated, has an appreciation for Golden Age Hollywood and is a gentleman to boot. You know he hasn't pressured me about sex once. Once. Not once.

Serena: Why can't you support me?
Blair: Have you two talked about everything? About all the very real reasons you broke up last year?
Serena: Not completely.
Blair: Well when you do, if you're still together, I'll be happy for you. 'Til then I just think you're fooling yourselves.

Blair: You think I'm just going to sit back and watch you have an affair with my boyfriend's mother? Guess again.
Nate: So what are your plans? To distract me with Vanessa?
Blair: Yes. What about it?
Nate: It's just as your plans go it's kind of nice.
Blair: A? Don't be offensive. And B. From what I just witnessed if you want to keep her you're going to have to step it up.

Gossip Girl: Wakey wakey, Upper East Siders. Welcome to the first day of senior year and the onset of a new social dynasty. The big question is: with Serena single and on top of the world, will Constance become the House of Van der Woodsen?

Chuck: Humphrey was holding you back. You're a born queen. This is your year to rule. Why fight it?
Serena: Because I don't want it, okay? Being queen is Blair's whole thing. Plus, if she needs a eunuch she knows where to look.

Jenny: Dad, how set are you on this whole "going-to-school" thing?
Rufus: Pretty set. Why?

Gossip Girl: When the white tents blossom in Bryant Park it can only mean one thing: Fashion Week.

Dan: Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle? And "beer before liquor". How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me.

Dan: Has he always been like that?
Chuck: Since the day I was born.
Dan: Ah, that's crazy. Even Bart Bass doesn't hate babies. It's, uh, it's in our DNA. I think Disney did a study.
Chuck: He hated me.
Dan: That doesn't make sense.
Chuck: It does if his beloved wife died giving birth to me.
Dan: That's not your fault.
Chuck: Tell him that. Sometimes I swear he thinks I killed her. Who knows, maybe I did.

Chuck: I wonder what lucky school will be the subject of the next nursery rhyme penned by Brooklyn's lamest fiction writer.
Dan: Actually, Chuck, I think the Dean of Admissions at Yale will actually appreciate my ability to write about damaged characters.

Blair: Of all the things—Nate, my mom, the girls at school—you wouldn't take this from me. Because if you do, I swear I will take you down.
Serena: I'm not taking anything from you, Blair. I was invited. And as for taking me down. I'd love to see you try.

Blair: Poor Chuck. What is life without a friend to share it. Oh. It looks like you just lost yours to Dan Humphrey.
Chuck: Who cares. I'd rather talk about who you lost yours to anyway.
Blair: Uh uh. Been there, done that. Been decontaminated.
Chuck: We both know you'll do it again. It's just a question of when.
Blair: The answer is Never.
Chuck: We're inevitable, Waldorf.
Blair: Despite whatever vestigial attraction my body may feel for you, my brain knows better. And yours should too.

Dan: Dad, will you please tell Jenny that I have guy friends.
Rufus: Of course you do. I'm his—
Jenny: No. Not including you.
Rufus: There's Cedric—
Jenny: Not including dolls.

Vanessa: Hey. I overheard the end of that conversation. And, I'm sorry. I don't know your dad. But from what I saw today you deserve better.
Chuck: You say that. You don't really know me. My father on the other hand has lifetime experience. He makes some good points.

Dan: Hey. How's AP Economics treating you?
Serena: Well today there was a rousing debate about inflation versus liquidity. Which Isabel solved by calling Warren Buffett. Apparently he's her godfather.

Blair: I have an itch that only Chuck can scratch and he won't oblige unless I tell him I love him.
Dan: You need help getting Chuck to sleep with you? Really?
Blair to Serena: You hear the judgment in his voice right now, right?
Serena: He's working on that.

Emma: So. Muffy McDonough's been bragging about how she's going to lose her virginity because she finally landed a date with the lacrosse captain. They call him the De-Virginator.
Blair: Oh my god. Stop your mouth from moving.

Chuck: Well. What do we have here? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Chuck.
Emma: Bass. Oh my god. I read about you on Gossip Girl. You're like the Devil.
Chuck: Finally. Some truth in advertising.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Bass taking the bait. Jail bait, that is.

Blair: Limos and virgins. Your specialty.
Chuck: Just so you know, while there are few things I consider sacred, the back of the limo is one of them.

Gossip Girl: Did Brooklyn Boy really think he could bury the bone in the backyard and no one would find it? Every Bass will have his day.

Eleanor: Cyrus told me that you had lunch together, he was very touched. Of course he doesn't know yet that you have an agenda for absolutely everything.
Blair: I don't know what you're talking about.
Eleanor: Blair. You're not a child anymore. But you can't help it can you? You can't help meddling and scheming.

Blair: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight.
Cyrus: I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor's daughter is never going to result in a victory.
Blair: So you retreated with dignity.
Cyrus: Who says I gave up?

Blair: Even though Daddy isn't coming, I'm determined to have the perfect Thanksgiving I didn't get last year. You're still going to help me make his famous pie tomorrow.
Serena: Yeah, but I can only stay for a couple of hours. Aaron is coming to meet my family before Thanksgiving dinner.

Chuck: Archibald. Haven't seen you around here lately.
Nate: Yeah, why do you care?
Chuck: Oh I don't. But if you're not with the Humphreys anymore obviously things are looking up. Which is too bad. I kind of liked watching you slumming. I thought it would teach you who your real friends were.
Nate: I guess it has. He walks away

Lawyer: Once you file the state opens up an investigation into your family. There has to be proof of parental neglect. Just fill out these papers authorizing the investigation. Once you sign them your parents will be notified.
Jenny: Wait, they have to be notified?
Lawyer: Well of course. They need to know you no longer want to be their child.

Bart: It's been a long time since I've been husbandly. I just want you to know I fired Andrew Tyler, that private investigator that gathered all those files. No more snooping. No more trying to control you and the kids. It's done. And I'm sorry. For everything.
Lily: Thank you, but um, I don't think that that's enough.
Bart: Then tell me what is and I'll do it. I can change, Lily. You know I can. If you'll let me.

Jenny: How could you? Really Vanessa? Lying and seeing Nate behind my back?
Vanessa: I'm... so sorry. I've been meaning to tell you I just wasn't sure how.
Jenny: You knew this entire time why Nate wasn't calling and it was because he was with you.
Vanessa: I understand that you're upset. But if I remember correctly you kissed Nate behind my back first.

Gossip Girl: More towers than Trump, more bucks than Bloomberg. Bart Bass definitely made his mark on Manhattan. The passing of a public figure can shake a whole town. But the real story is always the one happening in private. Away from the headlines. At home.

Cecilia: In times of great uncertainties it's even more important that we continue our daily rituals.
Serena: You haven't eaten a Cheerio since you've been here.
Eric: And we know that's gin in your coffee cup.
Cecilia: My point exactly. Life must go on. As it always has.

Dan: Hey. You're back.
Serena: Yeah. Just. I literally drove here from the airport.
Dan: Well you look tan.
Serena: Well it is summer in Buenos Aires.
Dan: That's right. Southern hemisphere—
Serena: I broke up with Aaron.

Blair: I told Chuck I loved him.
Serena: Oh my gosh! That's great!
Blair: Great? No, it's awful. Not only did he not say it back but he disappeared. For a month. I could just go back and strangle myself as the words come out.

Rufus: I have a right to know my son.
Lily: And he has a right to his own life. Just like you've had yours.

Jack: Chuck, this letter represents your father's final words.
Blair: Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it.
Nate: Yeah, aren't you curious to know what it says?
Chuck: I think I can guess. "You're a disappointment of a son." "I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already." "Why do you wear so much purple."

Jack: I owe you an apology. The fact is, you're Bart's son and it is your rightful place.
Chuck: Your blessing means a lot to me.
Jack: Good. Now before we start spooning I want to take you out tonight to properly celebrate.
Chuck: I'm having dinner with Blair.
Jack: Reschedule.

Gossip Girl: True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic flute, Amadeus. All this Queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale.

Lily: Well now that this is all out in the open maybe we can stop sneaking around. I mean we've had the awkward run-in and it isn't so bad. I don't know why we thought this would be so weird.
Dan: Let's leave. Now.
Serena: Nice try mom

Chuck: Yesterday I received an envelope. Inside was a business card with an address, a date and a time on it. No name. I assumed it was some overly designed invitation to a business meeting. But I arrived at the address it was something different entirely.
Vanessa: A high stakes poker game?
Nate: Or an arms dealer auction?
Chuck: The ultimate private gentleman's club. I walked through this door and it was—
Vanessa: It was the Chuck Bass version of Narnia?

Headmistress: Blair your actions threaten the reputation of the entire teaching staff and this school. You give me no choice but to ask you to leave Constance Billard.
Blair: You're expelling me?

Dan: I just can't believe this is a senior requirement.
Nate: Or that Chuck actually got a doctor to actually diagnose him with acute stage fright. Should have gone with mercury poisoning.

Gossip Girl: Before Gossip Girl there was Edith Wharton. And how little has changed. The same society snobs still reigned. Only in corsets and horse-drawn carriages.

Blair: I've lost everything. I'm humiliated. And shunned. They've made me flesh-and-blood Countess Olenska.
Dorota: You are an actress. Pour it into the role. Use pain on stage.
Blair: You're right. I'm an actress. No, I'm a seagull.
Serena: No. You're a shameless bitch.

Dan: You're going to skip out on your family reunion? I appreciate your commitment to the game—
Nate: No. Listen, man, I'm not going to go pretend to bond with the people who shut me and my mom out when my dad got busted.

Lily: Are there any other exes I should know about? My trainer? My accountant?
Rufus: I'm sorry. But it's not like I've ever asked you to make a list of everyone you've ever dated.
Lily: Yes, well I'd be happy to make one.
Rufus: Sure.
Lily: You think I wouldn't?
Rufus: I don't think about it. I think you should just drop it.
Lily: Let's make lists.

Blair: Do you know how exhausting it's been being Blair Waldorf for the past 18 years. All the work, the planning.
Serena: You mean the plotting?
Blair: Yes. I'm glad it blew up in my face. It was a wakeup call. I was such an overachiever I was headed for a quarter life crisis at 18.
Serena: Well B, you've had a couple of setbacks but there must still be a way to get into a great college and if anyone can do it, it's you.
Blair: No S. I've learned the hard way. I can't control everything. Plan everything.

Blair: Chuck. Don't act like I didn't fight for you. I did. Hard. For a long time. So please, forgive me if now that we're over I'm exhausted.

Serena: Wait, back up Blair. Nate and Vanessa broke up?
Blair: Well they had a falling out after the van der Bilt party. Hadn't spoken for a week and broke up last night.
Serena: How do you know all this? Have you dumped me for Vanessa?

Nate: Blair stop acting like me being your friend is some sort of plot to humiliate you. Okay? Did you ever think that maybe things didn't work out between us because we weren't friends?.

Dan: Look I'm the one with the expensive Yale tuition. Please let me help. There's got to be a job on Craig's List that doesn't involve dealing or nudity.
Rufus: Dan I have it under control. Your priority is school.

Cyrus: Hello? Yes. This is Cyrus Rose.
Serena: This is Serena van der Woodsen. I think I need a lawyer.

Chuck: Archibald, let's face it. You won, I lost. You have nothing to worry about with me. I'm out of that game.
Nate: Well I certainly don't have to worry about your weakass jump anyway.

Chuck: If you needed to mark your territory so badly Nathaniel, maybe you should just pee on her.
Nate: I don't want you to go near her again. I mean that.

Serena: I'm going back to my boyfriend right now. If you know what's good for you, you'll go back to yours.

Serena: Well Gabriel didn't just skip town, he took off with all the money that he got my mom and the coop to invest and he took Poppy's money too. The entire thing was a scam.
Chuck: Well those suits never did fit right.

Blair: We'll have to continue this later. Serena needs me.
Nate: No. No no. Serena needs me is officially no longer an excuse to avoid talking.
Blair: She's my best friend. The question of whether you got this apartment because you love me or because you don't trust me will have to wait.
Nate: Fine. But that wasn't even the question. The question was—and remains—do you want to live in it with me?

Dan: What's going on?
Blair: Not that it's any of your business, but Serena's fake boyfriend's investment was also fake.

Lily: I came down here to drop the charges and put this behind us. Please show a little respect and I will stick with my plan.
Serena: I'll just stick to mine. If you didn't notice you weren't my phone call.
Lily: Ah. So who was?
Cece: She called me, darling. Ironic, isn't it? If only she knew.
Serena: Hey Grandma.

Gossip Girl: For those who complain about the youth of today, if you think we're bad you should have seen our parents.

Cece: Hello Lily.
Teen Lily: What are you doing here?
Cece: If it was up to your father they'd stop me at the county line. But Santa Barbara is really only a prison in my mind.
Richard Rhodes: Good to see you, Cece.
Cece: Wish I could say the same, Richard.

Gossip Girl: You wanted to meet Gossip Girl? Well, look around. I'm nothing without you. And while most high school friendships fade, it's my hope that what happened today will bond you forever. Now that all my secrets are out, you have a clean slate. Until college. Congratulations, I'm coming with you.