Quotes from Gossip Girl
"Gaslit" (Season 4)
Gossip Girl: Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. As always I'll be spending it giving thanks for the bounty of secrets I've harvested from you this year. But leave a place for me at your table. I'll be back for just desserts.
Blair: Strolling the Christmas markets with Daddy and Roman. Celebrating the Beaujolais Nouveau at Le Tambour. Did you remember my new Burberry?
Blair: That's the double-faced. I need the shearling. Do you want me to freeze?
Dorota: Yes. I want you to freeze.
Blair: Why aren't you excited for me? You know how much I love Paris in Autumn.
Dorota: With everything that's happened with Mr. Chuck and Miss Serena I also know that you want to get out of the Dodge.
Blair: "Out of Dodge". It's a place not a pick-up truck. And I'm not leaving because of them. Dorota gives her a look. Well not entirely because of them.
Dorota: It's Ana's first holiday season. So many traditions to share. The breaking of oplatek, the waiting for first star. The singing kolenda....
Blair: Do any of these traditions include getting to the point?
Dorota: I took liberty of making Harold's famous Thanksgiving pie for you.
Blair: I'm not sure that's getting through airport security.
Dorota: I thought maybe we could drop it off at van der Woodsen's on way to airport.
Blair: Serena is the one who forced Chuck and me into the open and tried going after my committee. She's the one staying at Lily's to avoid me. Shouldn't she be bringing me pies?
Dorota: Forget I mentioned it. I throw pie in trash.
Blair: No. It's fine. But this is only about pies and traditions. That's all. Do they have a word in Polish for "pain in the ass"?
Eric: Do we have relatives I don't know about?
Rufus: It's always a possibility. Your mother wanted to pull out all the stops this year.
Eric: So this is about denial.
Rufus: Have you heard from Serena?
Eric: No, ah, she hasn't responded to any of my texts. And granted most of them included angry emoticons but I was actually thinking of going over to Blair's now to talk to her.
Lily: You will do no such thing.
Rufus: Come on Lil. It's the holidays.
Lily: She dropped out of college, she refuses to return our phone calls. She's a grown woman throwing temper tantrums just to punish me. When she is ready to take responsibility for her actions we'll talk. Until then, you know what, I'm done being punished.
Blair: What are you doing here?
Chuck: Thanksgiving. The only day of the year it's acceptable to eat dinner before 8.
Blair: Oh. Of course, right. Thanksgiving.
Dorota: We bring pie.
Chuck: I should have asked Lily if you were coming. I can leave if you'd like.
Blair: Don't be silly, I was just headed to JFK. But even if I wasn't we should get used to little run-ins like these. I mean if Bruce and Demi can do it it can't be that difficult.
Lily walking in: Oh! Blair, Dorota. What are you doing here?
Blair: Just bringing a little tradition. I'm spending the holidays with Daddy and Roman in Paris. I figured since we usually spend this day together that, you know, um... Is Serena here?
We thought she was with you.
Blair: No, I haven't seen her since Chuck's party. She never came home.
Eric: Okay, alright. Now I'm worried.
Chuck: She's not at The Empire.
Lily: Well then where the hell is she?
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Serena: My name is Serena van der Woodsen. I don't know who I am or how I got here. Please help.
Dan: Hey man I just got your text. What's up?
Nate: My mom's filing for divorce. At least she's trying to.
Dan: Oh. I'm sorry, man. That sucks.
Nate: What am I supposed to do? You know, how do I stop this?
Dan: You can't. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but if kids could fix their parents' relationships they would. Hell, if we could fix our own relationships we would.
Nate: That's your advice? Do nothing?
Dan: I mean, if it helps, I know my parents are happier now than they were. And don't take this the wrong way but I mean it can't come as a total shock, right?
Nate: It is. I mean she's had years to do this. The guy embezzled, he got arrested, he tried to skip bail and then he went to prison. She stayed married to him this whole time and now she wants out? I mean what's worse is that I feel he's really changed. I just, I gotta get her to see that.
Dan: Well good luck.
Nate: Thanks man. Actually no. No thanks. Your advice really sucked.
Rufus: All they could tell us is what we already know. She dialed 911 from a motel in Queens and that drugs were involved.
Lily: What are we supposed to do?
Rufus: For now? Just be here when she wakes up.
Lily: I'm going to go get a cup of coffee.
Jenny: Serena in trouble. We screwed up. Coming home.
Dan: Where is she? Is she alright? What happened?
Blair: She overdosed in some cheap motel in Queens. Alone. Why didn't she come to me? I mean no matter how angry we were at each other she knows—I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her.
Dan: What did the doctors say?
Blair: Rufus and Lily are waiting to talk to them. Dan looks perplexed. What?
Dan: Drugs in a cheap motel, that does not seem like Serena to me.
Blair: Sometimes I forget how much of a recent addition you are, Humphrey. You met her as a girl coming home trying to start over. I wish it wasn't true but... it sounds a lot like the Serena I used to know.
Dr. Keller: Mrs. Humphrey? I'm Dr. Keller. It wa a drug overdose but it wasn't severe. We have her on fluids right now but her liver and kidneys look fine.
Rufus: What now?
Dr. Keller: Well she's stable so as soon as she wakes up we'll have to discharge her. I was wondering if you wanted to discuss a place for her recovery. I understand your family had a good experience with the Ostroff Center.
Lily: Well she's not a drug addict. She didn't mean to harm herself, this was all sort of a stupid mistake, and as you said yourself it wasn't severe.
Dr. Keller: The amount ingested isn't what worries me. In addition to the painkillers and sleeping pills we found Nortriptyline in her motel room. It's an anti-depressant. But taken in conjunction with the other medications it can be fatal. Was your daughter battling depression?
Rufus: Not that we're aware of.
Dr. Keller: I'll give you a minute.
Eric: We saw you talking to the doctors. How is she?
Blair: When can we see her?
Rufus: The doctor thinks it might be a good idea for Serena to get some help.
Dan: What kind of help?
Eric: Oh my god. They don't think she did this on purpose, do they?
Lily: No, no one's saying that.
Blair: But there's a chance?
Dr. Keller: Have you made a decision?
Lily: No. We need to think.
Dan: Here's a crazy suggestion: why don't we ask Serena, see what she wants.
Eric: How you feeling?
Serena: Betrayed. Thanks.
Lily: Serena, I know right now—
Serena: Mom, stop. Your daughter wakes up alone. Drugged. In an empty motel room. And you don't call the cops, you don't ask if she's okay or what happened. You just have her committed. What kind of mother does that?
Lily: The kind of mother who wants her daughter safe.
Serena: Is that what you're telling yourself—that this is what's best for me?
Lily: Well Serena this isn't exactly what's best for me. You know it would be a lot easier to take you home and act like this never happened. But I'm afraid for you.
Serena: How could you let her do this to me?
Eric: Because I love you. When I was in here, I didn't want to be. At least not at first.
Serena: I'm not in denial, Eric. I didn't do this.
Eric: It took me a long time to come to terms with what I did too.
Dan: At the party Serena said she didn't kiss either of us—that she had no idea what happened. And now this? What if something else is going on?
Nate: Or maybe you just want to think that because it's easier than the truth.
Nate: Dan, I care a lot about Serena, I always will. Whether she realizes it or not this is how she pulls people back in. And I'm not going to let it happen anymore. Neither should you.
Jenny: We need to talk.
Juliet: To my super about letting strangers into my apartment?
Jenny: No, about Serena.
Juliet: Her overdose? I had no idea she was so depressed.
Jenny: She wasn't. Until we made her that way. I mean we turned everyone against her.
Dan: What happened?
Serena: Honestly, I don't know. But I really wish I did because then maybe I could explain it to everyone.
Dan: What's the last thing you remember? Like what do you know, for certain?
Serena: Heading into the party to look for you. You were the one that I came to kiss. You and only you. It's the last thing I'm certain of. It's the only thing I still am.
Dan: Get your stuff.
Jenny: Dad, I came as soon as I—
Vanessa: Sorry, I had to tell him what you did to Serena.
Jenny: What I did?
Rufus: Vanessa told me she overheard how you were going to turn everyone against Serena. That's the real reason you came back to teach her some kind of a lesson. Well you sure did. You proud of yourself?
Lily: Rufus, I can't believe what just happened.
Rufus: What's wrong?
Lily: It's Serena. She's gone.
Dan: Come on. I bust you out of the loony bin and you're going to mock my choice of transportation. We're fugitives, alright? We're taking the bus.
Serena: Are we really doing this? Just running away together?
Dan: No, running away is what guilty people do. We're just getting out of the city for a few days to get some space and clear your head. It's a vacation.
Serena: A vacation. I like that. Hey, thank you for believing in me.
Dan: How could I not.
Rufus: I didn't want to get into it in front of everyone, but now it's your turn to face the music.
Jenny: Maybe I did try to trick Serena at the Saints and Sinners party but I didn't do it alone. And we didn't mean for it to end up like this.
Jenny: Yes! Juliet, me and Vanessa. We were all in it together.
Rufus: That's not what Vanessa said.
Jenny: What are you going to believe her more than me?
Rufus: Jenny I'm not going to argue with you about how responsible you are. One-third, two-thirds—you can't deny you did it! And I am not Vanessa and Juliet's father, I'm yours. Serena could have died.
Jenny: I know! Dad, I know— I'm sorry! I— It was supposed to be a prank to teach her a lesson. I never should have come back to the city.
Rufus: Well on that we can both agree.
Jenny: Then I guess there's no reason for me to stay.
Rufus: Jenny where are you going?
Serena: You can spare me whatever you rehearsed on the way over. I'm not going back.
Blair: Even if it's what's best for you?
Serena: You don't get a vote. I can't believe you took her side.
Serena: Look, call whoever you need to call but the only way I'm going back there is in a straightjacket.
Lily: Daniel, stay here for just a moment. You may not agree with every decision I make regarding my daughter's well being but you have no right to intervene. I am her mother. I know her much better then you do. And I have been there for certain parts of her life that you have no idea about.
Dan: Really? Which parts are those? Because from the way Serena tells it, it sounds like I've clocked more hours by her side than you have.
Lily: Look, I love you. You know that. And you have a big heart, just like your father. And just like him you tend to see the good in everyone no matter what they do.
Dan: Well not always.
Lily: She's not just the beautiful teenage girl you saw at some party anymore. She's a troubled young woman avoiding some very real consequences. And unless you want to help her deal with those, then I suggest you step out of the way so that I can.
Dan: With all due respect, maybe I am only seeing the good in Serena, but I'm at least I'm looking at her and not at myself.
Lily: And what is that supposed to mean?
Dan: You committed her because you don't want to deal with her. You don't even want to talk to her. Why?
Lily: Well maybe I'm afraid of what she might say. Maybe... what she did was a cry for help and I'm the only one that didn't hear it.
Dan: Well I... I don't know. But if that is the case you should know, and if it's not then we really should find out what happened. But regardless the only way to find out is to sit and talk.
Serena: What makes you think I want to talk to you anymore than her?
Blair: Do you remember when I had my problem? And I never wanted to go to Dr. Sherman. So you would walk me and wait outside the building to make sure that I went in, and an hour later you'd be standing there to walk me home, no questions asked. If it wasn't for you I'd never have gotten better.
Serena: Except I don't need to get better. I didn't do anything.
Blair: So what? Someone went on a bender and rented a room with your credit card and forced pills down your throat?
Serena: I know how it sounds.
Blair: Good. 'Cause it sounds—
Serena: Crazy. Yeah, I got that.
Gossip Girl: Afternoon, Upper East Siders. Were your dinners as filling as mine was? Hope not. Because have I got some dessert for you. With sugar on top. It seems everyone's favorite party girl fell off the wagon and landed right in rehab. Good luck getting a Lohan-dle on things, S. From the looks of it, you've got a lot to recover from.
Ben: Where have you been? I've been trying to contact you.
Juliet: I was baking you a punkin pie with a file inside.
Ben: What's up with you?
Juliet: We have a lot to be thankful for. Saints and Sinners went perfectly. Everyone turned against her. I even got her to drop out of Columbia.
Ben: That's great. Why didn't you tell me?
Juliet: Because it's Serena. She worms herself out of everything and I needed to make sure there was one more nail in her coffin. Something that would force her family and friends to look at her differently. Forever.
Ben: What did you do?
Juliet: They took Serena to St. Margaret's on a drug overdose.
Ben: Oh my god. You drugged her?
Juliet: Don't worry. I don't think there was any permanent damage, to her health at least.
Ben: That was not part of the plan.
Juliet: Well I made it part of the plan. My financial support, apartment, Columbia, Nate. Look, this isn't just about you anymore. If there is a line that you wouldn't have crossed, you should have told me before I lost everything. Happy Thanksgiving, brother.
Blair: After everything that happened today, and the thought of losing Serena forever, maybe a part of me is questioning what I said to you last week.
Chuck: I showed up today for Serena. What you said was right. We need to be on our own, figure out where we go from there. Otherwise we're just torturing ourselves.
Blair: This isn't torturing me.
Chuck: I can't be your friend right now. As much as I wish I could.
Blair: I'm sorry.
Chuck: I'm not. I got to spend a little more time with you.
Blair: Happy Thanksgiving, Chuck.
Blair: How many times do I have to go Courtney Love on your ass before you get the message? I don't want you here.
Jenny: The girl on Gossip Girl's blast isn't Serena.
Jenny: It's Juliet. We had a plan to turn everyone against her. When you and Chuck were exposed at his party, that was me.
Jenny: And while I was doing that Juliet was kissing Dan and Nate. We were both dressed exactly like Serena. This is from her costume. It's what she wore in those photos.
Blair: That's a pretty tall tale from a not-too-reliable source.
Jenny: Blair, what reason do I have to come clean? Like it or not, you know me. And you know that I love a good game as much as the next girl but I would never want to hurt Serena for real. Juliet did and she used Vanessa and me to do it.
Blair: Are you willing to go double-agent? Help me bring Juliet down?
Jenny: I wish I could. But you were right in banishing me. I thought I could change and I didn't. So I think the best thing for me to do is go. And stay gone.
Blair: Thanksgiving without Jenny Humphrey. What fun would that be?
Jenny: Juliet's apartment's empty. I'm pretty sure she left town. Good luck.
Gossip Girl: During the holidays we call customary patterns of behavior "tradition". And like any pattern, once established they are not easily broken. Sometimes we convince ourselves we can start new traditions. Only to realize it wouldn't be a tradition if it changed.
Blair: Just because we can't be friends doesn't mean we aren't.
Gossip Girl: Other times even things we never realized were traditions can become one. But the best kinds of traditions are the ones that bring people together. Even under the most unlikely of circumstances.
Dan: Vanessa? Oh. Blair.
Blair: I owe you an apology. Juliet may have been behind Serena's overdose. And I have no intention of letting it go unavenged. I need your help to find her and extract a confession. You in?
Dan: Aren't I about the last person you want helping you?
Blair: You love Serena, don't you? So. We have something in common. What do you say we find that bitch and get us a little frontier justice.
Gossip Girl: Come together. Right now. XOXO —Gossip Girl