Shirts from the Store
Gossip Girl Quotes

Quotes from Gossip Girl

Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle)

Season One

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Specials

Jenny: One of the girls in my art class saw my calligraphy and she said that if I addressed all the invitations that I could have one.
Rufus: Sounds very fair. Sweat shops could learn a thing or two.

Rufus: Lily. Are you shopping for some art to match your furniture?
Lily: Why is my daughter going to one of your concerts?
Rufus: 'Cause we're awesome.

Rufus: Oh, I get it. You hear about Allison, use your daughter as an excuse to start something.
Lily: In your dreams.
Rufus: Well you are in my dreams, Lily. And one in particular recurs. It involves finding you in the back of a Nine Inch Nails bus with your shoes in your earrings and Trent Reznor. Oh, that happened.

Lily: Just coffee, I'm not staying long. I'd like to get out of here before someone throws me down and tattoos me.
Rufus: This is Brooklyn, Lil. Not the Warped Tour.

Jenny: Her mom designed it.
Rufus: And her mom is very talented, but the dress you made for yourself is much nicer.
Jenny: Which is why you don't wear dresses.
Rufus: One of a couple reasons.

Rufus: So you really impressed the guy, huh? Must be the way you poured those sodas.

Bex Simon: I've heard a lot about your gallery. I wasn't expecting a piece like this from a former rock star.
Rufus: I prefer "one hit wonder".

Allison: Hey, where were you? I tried to call you but your phone was off.
Rufus: I kept your date for you with Alex. He's actually a pretty cool guy other than the fact that he's in love with my wife.

Rufus: Hey Lil. Everything's closed on Christmas. Diners that claim to be open 24-7. It's false advertising.

Rufus: So, uh, Allison's leaving. She's spending time alone with the kids. And I seem to have walked all the way from Brooklyn to your doorstep. Without a jacket. In the snow. So what the hell. I miss you. And I have been missing you for awhile.

Rufus: I am not apologizing for not having a private plane for you, Jenny.

Jenny: As nice as it is that you're encouraging me to get my designs out there, the White Party's like, super-exclusive. I mean summer interns do not get to go. Last year they even turned away Jack Johnson.
Rufus: Sounds like a party with taste!

Rufus: I thought you and Dan were leaving for the party.
Vanessa: Yeah, we're supposed to.
Rufus: He's not still reading one of those "Dan/Serena Should They/Shouldn't They" threads, is he?
Vanessa: Last I checked, yeah.

Rufus: Repo Man's playing at the Sunshine. You know how I love my Harry Dean Stanton.

Rufus: Blair. What could we have done to deserve a visit from you?

Rufus: C'mon, you gotta be kidding me! You're letting the Mr. Softee truck pass us?

Lily: Let's make lists.
Rufus: Lily—
Lily: Look you clearly have some idea about my past that I'd prefer to dispel and this way I won't be blind sided again. Unless of course there's something that you don't want known.
Rufus: Alright.
Lily: Okay. Tonight then. At dinner. Be ready.
Rufus: This has disaster written all over it.

Rufus: That's the only things I need to know. Things that make you happy or sad or crazy. Although that last one would be kinda hard to condense.

Eleanor to Dan: Could you please make yourself a little more presentable?
Rufus: That was sort of rude.
Dan: Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna just sorta go with it.
Rufus: Atta boy.

Lily: Rufus' gallery is in Williamsburg.
You should move your gallery to the city. Williamsburg is already over.
Rufus: I didn't realize an entire neighborhood could be over.

Jenny: Have you considered cooking classes? I mean even I'm getting of tired of your waffles, Dad.
Rufus: Not cool. I sometimes make chili.

Dan: That looks a little delicate for your big hand.
Rufus: Don't get any ideas, hotshot.

TOP