Louis: You don't have to worry anymore because the brand new positive image of the Monaco royal family is intact.
Princess Sophia: And Blair is transformed into the most advantageous partner. The press took to her in the wake of the unfortunate incident. I couldn't have hoped for a more perfect arrangement.
Louis: I can't believe you're talking this way on the day of my wedding. My relationship with Blair is not a business deal.
Princess Sophia: But all relationships are business. Sometimes if you are lucky you have love and that is a bonus. Let us hope that you stay lucky.

Harold Waldorf (John Shea): It's been a long time since we danced.
Eleanor Waldorf (Margaret Colin): I'm game if you are. As long as you don't show me up like the last time.

Cyrus Rose (Wallace Shawn): Hey, she's here! The Princess Bride!

Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg): The bitch got me remanded to rehab, banished from Bible camp and abandoned in Belarus all for her own enjoyment.

Eleanor: I know I said once that you would never be as pretty as when you were young, but you get prettier every day.

Chuck: Mrs. Waldorf, what are you—
Eleanor: —am I doing here. I've been asking myself the same question the whole ride over. Do you have something to drink?
Chuck: Of course. Sparkling or still?
Eleanor: Scotch. {she downs his drink}

Eleanor: I don't want my daughter to have to wait for a second chance to be happy. She should be happy the first time around.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Eleanor: All day long I have had this feeling that I had forgotten something and then I realized what it was. You. So. Are you coming to stop this thing or what?

Lily: When Rufus said he saw you I knew it must be true.
Rufus: Crashing one wedding wasn't enough for you?
Georgina: I didn't crash, I was invited. My invitation just got lost in the mail. I do live in Brooklyn now, after all. I mean it's practically the Falklands.

Cyrus: Blair, my little turtledove. What's the emergency?
Blair: I need another escort.

Cyrus: What's going on? You have an escort—your father.
Blair: Oh Cyrus. One escort is not enough. I need both of you to walk me down the aisle.

Serena: You expect us to believe you were just an innocent bystander?
Georgina: I never said I was innocent. I just like to watch. And while I love our annual showdowns as much as anybody, if you're looking for someone to blame for what just happened you've got the wrong girl.
Serena: Come on, Georgina.
Georgina: Sure I made the video Gossip Girl played, but I didn't send it in. I left my camera with Chuck thinking he'd show the Prince and they'd have a duel at dawn for what's left of Blair's virtue. Or maybe some royal fisticuffs. Whatever those are.

Blair: Thank you for giving me another chance. Louis, the champagne hasn't gone to my head. I'm too high for it to reach me. We've made it. Finally.
Louis: So we did.
Blair: What is it, mon chere? Did I miss a step?
Louis: I promised my mother I'd wait until we were on the plane, but I can't any longer.
Blair: Wait for what?
Louis: Today, with the eyes of the world on us, I had no choice but to stand by your side after your public apology. But that was it. From this moment forward there is nothing between us but a contract. Our marriage is all for show. And you're going to put on the best damn show anyone has.

Blair: But what about everything we've been through? All those beautiful vows you said in front of God and everyone. Those can't just have stopped being true.
Louis: I didn't write them. Dan did. And now they mean nothing to me.
Blair: But why, why would you want to be married to someone you didn't love?
Louis: My mother told me love had nothing to do with marriage. Now I know she was right.

Eleanor: Serena, Blair seems happy, doesn't she? With Louis?
Serena: Of course. I mean she loves Louis. She's a Princess now so, you know, as soon as that soaks in she'll be beyond happy.

Lola Rhodes: You must be pretty desperate to flirt with me by doing manual labor.
Nate: What? This isn't flirting. I've always wanted to load a catering van. One more thing to cross off my bucket list.

Lola: Wait, the Princess is a runaway bride and you're going to go look for her? I'm in.

Princess Sophia: Maybe you should tell me what is going on.
Louis: I was so angry I couldn't wait.
Princess Sophia: What did you tell her?
Louis: Everything we discussed. That after humiliating me she would be my wife in name only.
Princess Sophia: What were you thinking? The press is outside awaiting your departure. There are hundreds of guests here. This is why I told you to wait. Blair needed to be by your side this instant.

Chuck: What have you done with Blair?
Georgina: Nothing. Except tell the dumbest member of your security team that I was her.

Serena: Dan said Blair left with Louis. Maybe we're overreacting.
Georgina: You're not. Dan's lying. He's gotten pretty good at it too.

Princess Sophia: I will not stand for the humiliation of my son being left on his wedding day. If you can not get Blair to return, then you will be required to fulfill the dowry that we so generously waived.
Eleanor: First of all, I thought my daughter was with your son. And as for the dowry, it was waived because it's antiquated and outrageous. You cannot force us to pay it.
Princess Sophia: It's all in the prenuptial agreement. If she defaults on the marriage, the dowry can be reinstated.

Dorota: Mr. Chuck! I was only trying them on! I was so bored locked inside. But thankfully Miss Georgina a mother and she not leave me without snacks.

Serena: Oh my god, Blair wants a divorce.
Dorota: That is my hope. Before I was locked in closet, Mr. Louis was calling and calling. He said he want to find Miss Blair and get her help she needs. Which in romance novels means locking her forever in tall tower.

Georgina: My work here is done. And documented.

Georgina: Since Gossip Girl abandoned her post after Blair's accident, it's been my civic duty to step in and continue her work. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it. The world needs Gossip Girl.

Dorota: Miss Blair! You're back! I was worried you'd be locked away in big stone tower somewhere, and only way to speak is through smoke signals or coded messages on Twitter.
Blair: Thankfully, Dorota, we don't need to learn Navajo just yet.

Georgina: What am I going to do? Under my stewardship Gossip Girl is but a shell of her former self. Like AOL or Courtney Love. The only way to remedy this is with a scandal to end all scandals.
Phillip: You have a scandal. Dan Humphrey's the one who sent you that video of Chuck and Blair at Blair's wedding. And with that to hold over his head you could get Dan to do almost anything.
Georgina: Philip, it's cute when you pay attention. But if I'm going to load up Dan like a hirsute hand grenade I need everyone to be there when he detonates.

Charlie: I can't believe Blair went through with her marriage to Louis. I really thought she was going to end up with Chuck.
Rufus: Yeah, between us I think she may have wanted to. Let's just say, while love is a very complicated thing, so are pre-nups.

Blair: Step one is accomplished. The thaw has begun.
Dorota: A beautiful Polish spring.

Blair: There's no way I can bring a royal minder to my ex's apartment. Looks like you'll just have to wear a school uniform and play Cupid in my place.
Dorota: Oh no. This is very bad plan.

Georgina: It says here if Blair defaults on the marriage in any way, the Waldorf family will owe the royals so much money they'll be bankrupt.
Phillip: And this helps us how?
Georgina: We're going to show the world what Blair really thinks of her vows. And we'll use Dan to do it.

Lola: Ivy! Ivy! It's Charlie Rhodes. From Florida. We took that acting class together.
Charlie: Ah... yeah. Charlotte.
Lola: Hi.
Charlie: It's good to see you. What are you doing here?
Lola: I was about to ask you that same question.

Dan: Georgina. You're Gossip Girl?
Georgina: What? No. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Georgina: I have something I'd like you to see. {she shows him the kiss photo}. And in your bedroom no less. Has she no decency? Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day.

Charlie: How is she doing? Is she okay?
Nurse: I'm worried there isn't much time left.

Ivy: Tell me Lily, how much exactly did you pay that nurse to lie for you? Because I have done nothing but love and care for Cece.

Nate: I think you dialed the wrong number. Obviously you meant to call your son and not me.
Diana: I know the news of me being Chuck's mother must have come as rather a big surprise to you.
Nate: You think?
Diana: But it doesn't have to ruin anything between us.
Nate: Except for the small fact that every time I look at you now I see a Bass in my face.

Dorota: You sure you want to read, Miss Blair? There are some bad things about friends in there.
Blair: Don't you know me at all? I love reading bad things about my friends. It's the only thing that makes me feel better about myself.

Blair: He's high brow and I'm low brow for being married for less time than Kim Kardashian? I was so wrong, Dorota. All is not right in the universe. The universe is totally upended and we must right it immediately.
Dorota: And how you plan to do that?
Blair: I must become as high brow as Dan. This instant!

Gossip Girl: I've always been a daddy’s girl. But sometimes, the problem with fathers?
  William: Sorry about that. Now, where were we?
  Lola: I think you were about to tell me how you found out that you were my dad.
Gossip Girl: Is that they can be real sons of bitches.

Dan: Who was that guy?
Dorota: Some representative from FIT. More like similar word, but spelled S—
Blair: It doesn't matter. How was the meeting with your publicist?
Dan: They just wanted to see me in person so they could tell me I'm one of the five people nominated for the New York Public Library's 2012 Young Lions Fiction Award.

Nate: What'd you find out?
Andrew: That the first record of our Diana Payne was three years ago. Before that it's like she didn't exist.
Nate: So if Diana Payne's not her real name, how do we ever find out her story?

Blair: How do I look?
Dorota: Suspicious. You heard Mr. Humphrey. Why are you dressed so fancy for casual book party?
Blair: I guess the opera gloves may be a bit much.
Dorota: I smell a scheme when I see one.

Lola: You realize this isn't just hurting my mom, it's hurting me too.
Lily: Your mother deserves to be punished. She defrauded all of us and we should have done this months ago.
Lola: You know—
Carol: Don't listen to her, Lola. This has nothing to do with fraud. This is all because I slept with her husband two decades ago. But here's the thing, Lily. I never would have been with William in the first place if he were happy with you.

William: I'm sorry for not being truthful with you today. And for cheating on your mother all those years ago.
Serena: That's between you and mom. But you lied to me today to protect Lola. You left me when I was four years old, and when I tracked you down you wouldn't even see me. All I ever wanted my whole life was a father and all you ever did was avoid me. And now when you find out about Lola you just rush to be by her side. Well you broke my mom's heart. And now you just broke mine.

Dorota: Miss Serena, all you do all day is type type type. You take laptop with you everywhere. It not healthy.
Serena: Well after last week's family meltdown, this laptop is the only thing keeping me sane. Writing is my new outlet. You should be happy for me.
Dorota: If you say so. But Vanya say same thing about Warcraft and then DSL bill comes.

Diana: Yes, of course everything's set for tonight. There is nothing to worry about.
Jack: I hope that's not overconfidence I hear in your voice. I don't need to remind you how sensitive an operation this is. If anyone finds out—
Diana: Jack, they won't. Chuck and everybody else thinks I'm his bloody mother. They are off the scent completely.

Lola: I'm just glad you finally believe me about Serena acting as Gossip Girl.
Nate: And I apologize again for ever having doubted you.
Lola: And for calling me a fame-whoring social climber?
Nate: Yeah. That too.

Lola: So what's the plan? We can't let Serena stay Gossip Girl.
Nate: Trust me, I know. It's not good for anybody. Especially Serena.

Diana: Think about it, Serena. You can use this number to track down the real Gossip Girl. I bet you can blackmail into letting you keep the site. She'll quit before she'll risk ever being exposed. And you can stay Gossip Girl forever.

Serena: Why would you help me?
Lola: You ever heard the expression, "The devil you know"?

Serena: This isn't my first rodeo.
Lola: No but it's mine. And it's awesome.

Chuck: Jack.
Jack Bass: Hello Chuck.

Jack: Chuck, I'd love to chat but I'm late for something very important.
Chuck: You're not going anywhere until I get some answers.
Jack: Unfortunately it's fairly time sensitive so if you could please get out of the way.
Chuck: Diana Payne isn't my mother.
Jack: Sure she is.
Chuck: Admit it. You're the one that's been behind the lies all these years.
Jack: Why do you have to be so melodramatic about everything?
Chuck: Tell the truth Jack. For once in your life, it's time.

Chuck: Are you my father? Answer me.
Jack: Are you sure you really want to know.

Blair: What just happened? What did you tell him?
Jack: Tell him what?
Blair: What you're really hiding here.

Jack: Whatever you saw or you think you saw, you can't tell Chuck.
Blair: Of course I'm going to tell him. He has a right to know. And there's nothing you can do that will make me change my mind!
Jack: This isn't about me. Do you realize how many people get hurt if this gets out? You need to go. You've already complicated things enough by being here. This whole thing was supposed to go off without a hitch. You better hope it still does.

Serena: My computer's gone.
Lola: Gossip Girl. She took it.
Serena: What? How do you know that?
Nate: Because we set you up.

Diana: Shouldn't the boat be here by now?
Jack: I'm sure they just got delayed. They'll be here soon. By the way the fake raid was a great diversion.
Diana: Once I saw Chuck was here I knew I had to get him out as quickly as possible.
Jack: Well it worked.
Diana: Yeah. When we're done here tonight we need to discuss a renegotiation of my fee. It just doubled.
Jack: That's a lot of cash.
Diana: Silence is expensive. You know that.
Jack: Hm. Once the boat gets here and safely departs, you'll be taken care of. Don't worry.

Chuck: Dad?
Bart Bass (Robert John Burke): Oh my god.

Chuck: So the car accident was real?
Bart: I was lucky to survive it. But it wasn't an accident. I'd been threatened.
Chuck: By who?
Bart: A very powerful competitor of mine. I had information on some transactions of his that could have put him away for a very long time. But his threats didn't work.
Chuck: They had someone ram your limo with a truck? Dad, You could have gone to the police. You didn't have to—
Bart: Yes, I did. He'd made it quite clear that both you and Lily were fair game. Once I realized his threats weren't empty, the only way out was to make him think he'd already one. Once I got to the hospital tonight I figured that would be my best chance.
Chuck: So what, you just paid some doctors to switch off the machines? Hope Lily was crying so much that she wouldn't notice you were actually still breathing? What did we bury in that coffin?
Bart: Charles, I am here with you now, trying to explain.

Nate: I want you out of here. Today.
Diana: After all the fun we've had together?
Nate: What would people think if they knew about your side business?
Diana: Is that a threat? Because I am your main financial backer and we did sleep together. Sometimes right here in these very offices. So exposing me would only embarrass The Spectator. And you.
Nate: Then I'll find another way.

Chuck: There's so much I want to know. I guess now we have time. You can tell me everything.
Bart: Unfortunately I'm afraid our time is up. If the man I'm hiding from were to discover I'm still alive he'd try and kill me again. Or go after you.
Chuck: Let's go after him.
Bart: All you need to know is that as long as I'm still around we're still in danger.

Diana: I don't suppose you came here to thank me.
Chuck: Thank you for what? Not telling me my father was alive, pretending to be my mother, or screwing my best friend?
Diana: You mean for keeping your father alive. Pretending to be your mother to protect him and, well, I don't expect you to thank me for Nate. Perhaps I should thank you for that one.
Chuck: Look, I'm not here to hug it out or bond over my father's resurrection. I just need your help in keeping him here.
Diana: I'm afraid that's not possible.
Chuck: I'm afraid it is. You've been helping him hide. I think you know who from. Who tried to kill my father? I know it was one of his competitors, someone powerful enough to scare him into hiding these last few years. I just want a name.
Diana: Does your father know you're here?
Chuck: If you really want to help him, help me put an end to this.
Diana: If I do agree—and only if—you can never say who told you. And I need something else from you. It's not a small request.

Chuck: What have you done?
Serena: Okay, someone has to tell me what's going on here.
Nate: We couldn't let her get away without any consequences. She's done nothing but deceive all of us, including you. It just wasn't right.
Lola: Yeah, we're sorry we messed up your deal but this was beyond business. It was personal.
Chuck: You have no idea how personal. I made that deal with her so she would help get my father out of hiding.
Serena: Your father. You mean Jack.
Chuck: Bart. He's alive.

Ivy: I'll do whatever it takes to help. I'd love to get back in the gang.
Blair: But just to clarify. In order to be back in the gang, you would have had to be in the gang to begin with.

Ivy: How do you know this will work?
Blair: Do you think this is the first time I've entrapped someone with prostitutes?

Diana: Nate I can't go back to my old life. And I stand no chance of starting a new one with my name in the headlines. Must you keep me here to humiliate me on top of all that?

Bart: Makes me think I did something right raising you.
Chuck: I think we both know you didn't raise me. You were too busy with inappropriate transient women to teach me any viable life lessons. Except those about inappropriate transient women.

Chuck: I take it you've decided to have Lola move in for the summer.
Nate: She sleeps here every night, I want to see her every day. I figure why not.
Chuck: This place could use a woman's touch.
Bart Bass (Robert John Burke): Couldn't we all.

Blair: Dorota! We need to find every damning thing I ever wrote. So we can be proactive about damage control.
Dorota: Every damning thing since grade school is a lot of damning.

Lola: I got a job as a swing in the touring company of Wicked.
Nate: Swing. What's that? Like a tart or a prop?
Lola: It's like an understudy but for a lot of characters. Not exactly my dream but with my mom in jail it solves my housing problem.

Eleanor: Blair. Darling. Why is Dorota carrying your life history?
Blair: Suffice it to say that I apologize in advance if any of your meetings today are negatively affected by the publication of my intimate musings.
Eleanor: "My mother considers herself the arbiter of Parisian style, but the only French she's intimate with are fries." Wow. The reflections of an overprivileged and unattended thirteen-year-old have no bearing on the business I'm in town for.

Dorota: Pages with foot in mouth already marked from K to six.

Penelope: Why should we help you when you called us "back of house"?
Jessica: That was you. She says my hair's as thick as Jessica Simpson's.
Kati: That says "head."

Bart: Deceiving you was the only way to keep you and Chuck safe.
Lily: If I had known maybe we could have done things differently.
Bart: You mean you would have come with me? Please. You were getting ready to leave me for Rufus.
Lily: I'm sorry for that. I should have had more respect for our marriage. What about Charles? I mean his thinking you were dead was hell for him.
Bart: He got through it though. With your help. He told me about the adoption, Lily. I owe you everything for that.
Lily: Charles is family. And even with you back he's mine too.

Bart: Rufus. You're looking well. I see your transition from Brooklyn to the big time has done you wonders.
Rufus: I'm not here for small talk. I just need you to sign these annulment papers.
Bart: So. Lily has chosen to end our marriage in order to save yours.
Rufus: She made her choice three years ago when she decided to leave you for me. Nothing's changed since then.
Bart: Maybe I have. All that time in hiding made me realize what's really important.
Rufus: What does that mean exactly?
Bart: If Lily's happiness depends on my signature on these, you will have them by the end of the day.

Carol: Well it's about time William gave you my money. I was starting to worry he'd made some secret alliance with Lily.
Lola: I guess it just took awhile to arrange everything.

Lola: Go move in with Nate. Don't turn your back on the life that I almost screwed up for you.

Bart: I am proud of you, son. Lily told me you stepped up but I had no idea how much you'd accomplished.
Chuck: Thank you. How was seeing Lily after all this time?
Bart: I never dealt with such a formidable woman. Made me regret not treating her better.
Chuck: They require dedication.
Bart: I assume you're talking about Blair Waldorf. But you two aren't back together?
Chuck: I made a lot of mistakes after you left. I lost my temper. I lost myself. When I finally realized what I'd done and I had the ring to propose it was too late.

Bart: No one does a grand romantic gesture better than a Bass.

Chuck: You didn't need to buy me a gift.
Bart: Actually you bought it. I was in Harry Winston picking up an apology trinket for Lily. Helene told me it was in the vault. I thought you might want it back.
Chuck: Why?
Bart: Well isn't Blair the most important thing in your life? Where's that last grand gesture we spoke of earlier?
Chuck: Maybe I'll just hold on to it.

Blair: I'm headed for a reckoning. Dan versus Chuck.
Eleanor: You always did love Jane Austen.
Blair: As literature, not my life! Dan is my best friend and when we're together it's great. I feel strong and safe. Except in a [] room.
Eleanor: And with Chuck?
Blair: I'm vulnerable. He's devastated me, but he's also made me happier than I've ever been. I just don't know which kind of love is better.

Eleanor: Trust me, Blair. There isn't a woman out there more powerful than you.
Blair: You really think so?
Eleanor: Yes I do. That's why I want you to take over my company. That's what I've been trying to talk to you about. I have decided to retire. And I know you've always said you didn't want any part of what I do.
Blair: Well have you seen my closet? Fashion is art and culture and history and everything I love combined.

Eleanor: What are you still doing here?
Penelope: Waiting for Blair to change.
Eleanor: She left. She went through Serena's room to avoid you.

Bart: Of course none of this would have been possible without my son, Chuck. So thank you, chuck, for keeping my seat warm. So starting today I will be the only Bass in Bass Industries.

Bart: I thought that went well. What did you want to discuss?
Chuck: You said this was a family business. What happened to us being partners?
Bart: You said partnership. I said nothing and did what was best for my company.
Chuck: The only reason your company still exists is because I saved it. All I've done is work to protect your legacy.
Bart: And pine after Blair Waldorf.
Chuck: That has nothing to do with the way I've handled this business!
Bart: You didn't try and trade her for a hotel deed? You didn't let everything fall apart when you ran away from her—all the way to Europe? You didn't just three months ago almost bankrupt yourself trying to get her out of her marriage? I had hoped you had outgrown such foolish behavior, but you're still willing to throw everything away for a girl that's done nothing but toy with you.

Bart: Bass Industries needs to be run by a man. Not a boy. You've never grown up. Maybe you can start now.

Ivy: You sure you want to do this?
Lola: Cece gave it to you. I'm just giving it back.
Ivy: Well thank you. If you ever need anything.
Lola: After Lily sabotaged my mom's defense I just need you to keep our agreement.
Ivy: Take down Lily. I'm looking forward to it.

Eleanor: That is your third sigh since the seventh arrondissement. Are you having regrets leaving without speaking to Serena?
Blair: Not at all. Those are "I love Paris" sighs.

Georgina: Dan Humphrey. Come to whisk me away for a rendez vous under the Tuscan sun. You're lucky you're on my free pass list otherwise Phillip might have put up a fuss.
Dan: This invitation isn't about seduction, Georgina. It's about scandal.
Georgina: Can't a girl have both?
Dan: I need your photographic memory and your passion for social upheaval to help me write the book about the Upper East Side. The book I should have written from the beginning.
Georgina: Hm. Nothing like a scorned lover to scorch the earth. I can hardly wait.