Quotes from Gossip Girl
Best of Nathaniel "Nate" Archibald (Chase Crawford)
Click here for quotes from the latest episode
Nate: I have a girlfriend.
Chuck: You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate: Who says "seal the deal"?
Nate: That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.
Chuck: If I knew his name I'd hunt him down and kill him.
Nate: What, 'cause you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?
Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.
Nate: I'm just saying: death by scarf. Not that intimidating.
Nate: Baizen, my man. Heard you went rogue.
Nate: C'mon man, I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door. Is she anybody you can get rid of?
Serena: Blair's not the boss of me.
Nate: Are you new here? Because Blair's the boss of all of us.
Nate: I'm not saying you're gonna—It's just, you're not like those girls, Jenny.
Jenny: It's weird, Nate. Since they're my friends you'd think we'd have some stuff in common.
Nate: Okay. Well I will give you this. You've got good aim.
Nate: Next time your sister's band is in town I want front row seats.
Vanessa: You don't strike me as a Lesbian Punk fan.
Nate: You know I am just offended by how much you underestimate me, Ms. Abrams.
Vanessa: You like punk?
Nate: Oh. I didn't hear you— You said "punk"? Because you had me at "lesbian".
Mr. Archibald: Little advice fellas. You've been friends a long time. Whoever she is, she's not worth it.
Chuck: Couldn't agree more.
Nate: That's the problem.
Nate: Oh you know it's love when you start talking like an assassin.
Chuck: I think you're jealous of my new best friend.
Nate: Well I have been hoping someone would tag in for awhile now.
Angela: Let's just talk Cholera.
Nate: Um... very painful. she laughs. No, I'm not kidding. I tried to read it and I couldn't get through it. It's ridiculous.
Nate: I hope you at least bought the statue a drink first.
Blair: Chuck, am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? I'll hold back your hair. to Nate What?
Nate: Sorry Blair. You had me, then you lost me.
Blair: Just straighten his tie.
Nate: Hey! Thought you might need some backup.
Chuck: Thanks. Let's go.
Vanessa: I hate losing.
Nate: You didn't lose. You just admitted defeat.
Nate: Please tell me what we're doing here.
Vanessa: Yeah, and talk about the filthy rich. What happened to you?
Chuck: Yesterday I received an envelope. Inside was a business card with an address, a date and a time on it. No name. I assumed it was some overly designed invitation to a business meeting. But I arrived at the address it was something different entirely.
Vanessa: A high stakes poker game?
Nate: Or an arms dealer auction?
Nate: So the ultimate gentleman's club was here? 'Cause this place reminds me of my aunt's house.
Chuck: This was the place. I know it. There were velvet curtains blocking this hallway. There were women wearing masks, lying on a divan right where this piano is.
Nate: Alright, look. Maybe you should get some rest. It could help jog our memory.
Vanessa: Or warm ginger ale. It's a miracle hangover cure.
Chuck: This is the one. This is the woman.
Vanessa: Let me see. No way. The mom? This must be her house.
Nate: Well there's only one way to find out.
The Age of Dissonance
Dan: I just can't believe this is a senior requirement.
Nate: Or that Chuck actually got a doctor to actually diagnose him with acute stage fright.
Should have gone with mercury poisoning.
Julian: Nate, I told you. Your character went bankrupt. Suffered total public humiliation. Not that you would understand that. The characters in this play are smoldering tempests of emotion. You're as empty as the Federal Reserve.
Nate: You want feelings? Well I, I, I hate these clothes. I hate this play. And I hate pretentious asshats who try and steal other people's girlfriends. In fact I might just spontaneously punch one the next time you get in my face.
Blair: I know just how Mr. Beaufort feels. Working so hard for something and losing it. Because people are out to destroy you.
Serena: Well Countess, at least you don't have to go through your whole life worried your best friend will humiliate and betray you.
Nelly: I hate this fat suit!
Nate: Oh and there's one other thing. My whole family lost all of our money before my father went to jail for embezzlement. So I think I know more about humiliation and bankruptcy—
Dan: Beau—
Nate: —than some lame dilettante director. Okay?
Stage Director: Oh. My. God.
Dan: Why don't we retire to the parlor for some port. With Mr. and Mrs. van der Luydens.
Nate: I don't give a damn about the van der Luydens, Humphrey.
Dan: Alright.
Nate: I like ESPN. Okay? And you like books and movies.
Vanessa: The way you say that— You didn't even bother to read Age of Innocence. You didn't watch the DVD I gave you. You're like a kid who swears he hates tomatoes and has never even tried one.
Nate: Well maybe you should be with a guy like Julian who already likes tomatoes.
Vanessa: Maybe if you'd put in... some effort you wouldn't be so insecure.
The Grandfather
Dan: You're going to skip out on your family reunion? I appreciate your commitment to the game—
Nate: No. Listen, man, I'm not going to go pretend to bond with the people who shut me and my mom out when my dad got busted.
Vanessa: Are you sure you don't want to go to your family reunion?
Dan: We know they weren't cool to you and your mom, but it seems like your cousin is trying to make up for it.
Nate: Yeah well unless he's armed with an engraved apology from my grandfather I do not care.
Vanessa: Nate, they're making an effort.
Nate: Yeah sure, they're making an effort now. But where were they when we needed them?
Dan: Flying low. There must be a hospital nearby.
Tripp: It's not a medivac. It's Grandfather's ride. He's gonna be so surprised to see you.
Nate: Wait I though this was his idea.
Tripp: Not exactly.
Nate: So I came to give him a chance and he didn't even want one?
Vanessa: You should go meet them.
Nate: But we're eating pierogies.
Vanessa: We'll do the real thing this summer in Warsaw. And Moscow. And Budapest.
Nate: Summer Pierogy Tour '09.
I can't wait.
Vanessa: Anything you want to say to me?
Nate: Who told you?
Vanessa: Tripp. Now here's the part where you tell me that you told your grandfather you already made plans for the summer.
Nate: Look I haven't made any decisions yet.
Vanessa: No you haven't. Your grandfather made this decision for you.
Nate: It's not like that.
Vanessa: Then tell me what it's like because two days ago you were so excited to get away from everything, just the two of us.
Nate: I know I am. But it is an amazing opportunity.
Vanessa: For what? To turn into Tripp? Is that what you want to be in five years?
Nate: I don't know who I want to be in five years. That's the point.
Vanessa: If this is something I honestly thought you wanted I'd be happy for you. But can you really tell me this isn't about what William wants you to do.
Nate: As opposed to what you want me to do. I didn't mean that. It's just, my grandfather believes in me.
Blair: What happened? And when did everything get so screwed up? This isn't how it's supposed to be. I don't know who I am anymore. I feel so—
Nate: Lost.
Do you remember when you used to make us watch your favorite movies over and over again? Like Tiffany's and Holiday. It used to drive me nuts.
Blair: This is a pep talk.
Nate: Well I finally asked you why you like watching movies you've already seen. And you know what you said?
Blair: I like knowing how things are going to turn out.
Nate: Exactly. Well growing up I never knew who I was supposed to be. So I'd spend all my time apologizing for the privilege and the wealth and the opportunities I felt other people deserved more than I did. Well you know what I finally learned? You can't fight against who you are. And you are Blair Waldorf.
Blair: What happened to the Nate Archibald who just wanted to get high and play Halo?
Nate: I don't know.
Remains of the J.
Blair: You know what I was just thinking? Jennifer Aniston is totally fine now. I'm sure Brad doesn't even feel bad anymore.
Nate: Okay.
Blair: I mean I'm sure that there was some collateral damage which is always sad, but his fate lay with Angelina and he knew that. So he had the tough conversation and moved on.
Nate: This is your way of saying I should break up with Vanessa? So you and I can—
Blair: Embrace our fate.
Nate: Ah.
Blair: Yes.
Nate: Okay, well I wasn't actually going to tell you this until afterwards but Vanessa called a couple of hours ago and she just wants to talk so I asked her to meet me for dinner.
Blair: But can't you just text?
Nate: No.
Blair: But what if when you see her there's sparks? Or fireworks even. You know they say break-up sex is—
Nate: Hey hey hey, it feels over. And I'm sure she's going to tell me the same thing.
Nate: Blair stop acting like me being your friend is some sort of plot to humiliate you. Okay? Did you ever think that maybe things didn't work out between us because we weren't friends?
Blair: You're right Nate. This week you've become my friend. It's amazing. And I've never wanted to kiss my friend so much—
Nate: Hey hey hey. We're at a party full of people in Chuck's room. And he and Vanessa are right behind the wall.
Blair: Does it excite you?
Nate: Blair. he brushes her hair away.
Blair: Don't. Only my boyfriend gets to touch my hair.
Nate: You wanted to be more like Blair Waldorf. Well congratulations. You succeeded
Seder Anything
Nate: I got into Columbia.
Blair: What?
Nate: I got into Columbia. What were you talking about?
Blair: Oh. Nothing. That's amazing. I didn't even know you applied.
Nate: Well I wanted to see if I could get in without family help. I mean all my grandfather had to do to ge me into Yale was just make a phone call and— I'm sorry.
Blair: That's fine. I'm so happy for you. So that means no Yale?
Nate: No, honestly I'm torn.
Blair: You know now may not be a good time to say anything to your grandfather about Columbia.
Nate: Well that should be easy since I'm not going to speak to him.
Nate: When Tripp asked me to be the best man in his wedding I was a little bit surprised, to say the least. But I guess Grandfather told him to choose me and that was that. Well we all know how important family is to William van der Bilt. But what we don't know are the many secret ways he helps us all out. For isntance today I discovered he was the one who had my father investigated by the authorities. And if he cares so much about family then why did he destroy mine? So I guess the lesson here, Tripp old buddy, is watch your back. To family!
Nate: I trusted him. Was I wrong?
Blair: No. You're wonderful. I'm going to go get my coat. Then we can go.
Nate: Did you tell my grandfather you would convince me to go to Yale in exchange for him making you a bridesmaid?
Blair: I can explain.
Nate: That's great, you know. First my grandfather sells my father out. And then you sell me out for a picture in the Style section.
Blair: But I didn't! I mean, god I did. But I realized when he asked me again—
Nate: You, know I really thought this time would be different. But you're just the same girl you always were.
Blair: No. I'm not. I was just scared. About next year. And us.
Nate: I want to trust you, okay? But I can't think of a single reason why I should. The car will take you home.
Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Blair: NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair.
Nate: Well you were thinking a) you're lucky to get into a school at all. And b) you're super lucky because where you got in happens to be in the same city as your fantastic boyfriend.
Blair: That's true.
Nate: I've been coming down here for years and I'm going to teach you everything you need to know. The best latté, the best slice, the best pot dealer. But first. The most important lesson of all: how to ride the subway.
Blair: Nate! You're sweet. But obviously you've inhaled too much patchouli. There's no way I'm going down there. It's full of mole men and middle-class professionals.
Nate: Well you have to learn. How else are you going to visit me at Columbia.
Blair: Why do you think God gave us car service.
Nate: Our schools are at opposite poles of Manhattan. I mean the traffic could take hours. The subway's definitely the quickest way.
Blair: Please don't ask this of me.
Chuck: Well. You suck more than usual today.
Nate: I'm a little distracted. Things with—
Chuck: It's okay. You can say her name.
Nate: Blair. I feel a little weird talking about it with you.
Chuck: Nathaniel she's your girlfriend. If you want to be friends like we were it's just part of the deal.
Nate: So it's okay to just talk about her guy-to-guy like we used?
Chuck: Well I was there for the last week, wasn't I?
Chuck: Archibald, let's face it. You won, I lost. You have nothing to worry about with me. I'm out of that game.
Nate: Well I certainly don't have to worry about your weakass jump anyway.
Lily: Oh. I asked the caterer for a '99 Brunello. This isn't a PTA meeting.
Serena: Gabriel. It's a movie. You know most of them are only like 80 minutes these days.
Gabriel: And you know that there's nothing else I'd rather do. But I'm a little behind reviewing the prospectus. You know this is important to me.
Serena: Yeah. And you spending time with my family is important to me.
Nate: I just wanted to show you that Blair and I are really serious now. You understand that, right?
Chuck: If you needed to mark your territory so badly Nathaniel, maybe you should just pee on her.
Nate: I don't want you to go near her again. I mean that.
Blair: Serena didn't believe us.
Nate: You mean she didn't just dump her boyfriend because you two told her to? What's wrong with her?
Blair: Come with us.
Nate: No. I'm not going, neither should you. It's just Chuck playing games.
Blair: No, I don't think it is. And if you don't want to come with us, please, just let me go. I need you to trust me.
Chuck: The limo's waiting.
Nate: You're right. I need to trust you and I do. So... go.
Blair: I made a mistake. I shouldn't have gone with Chuck.
Nate: Oh it's okay. I'm just glad you came back. Well come in. Let me show you around.
Blair: You know, I loathe Murray Hill. Why did you get this apartment?
Nate: I got it so we wouldn't be so far apart next year.
Blair: And is that why you asked me to move in with you?
Nate: Blair— Knowing you and Chuck were hanging out made me jealous.
Blair: You said you trusted me. But you really don't, do you?
Nate: Blair. I'm so sorry. Hey, I love you. So take your coat off and stay. Please.
The Wrath of Con
Blair: We'll have to continue this later. Serena needs me.
Nate: No. No no. Serena needs me is officially no longer an excuse to avoid talking.
Blair: She's my best friend. The question of whether you got this apartment because you love me or because you don't trust me will have to wait.
Nate: Fine. But that wasn't even the question. The question was—and remains—do you want to live in it with me?
Nate: We need to talk.
Chuck: Can we talk inside.
Nate: We need to talk about Blair.
Chuck: Trouble in paradise?
Nate: Listen, a couple days ago you told me you were done with her. Then you went and did everything you could to try and get close to her again.
Chuck: If you have a problem with my proximity to your girlfriend then maybe you should ask Serena not to get herself into so much trouble.
Nate: You know what I couldn't figure out is why you would go out of your way to lie to me about how you felt. Then I realized you're not lying to me. You're lying to yourself.
Chuck: That's a lovely theory you've concocted Nathaniel. You should have it published. Now if you'll excuse me.
Nate: You had your shot and you blew it. So why start toying with her again? If you want her, then man up and tell her. Otherwise you gotta cut her loose. You gotta cut her loose and you gotta do it for real this time because I want her.
Chuck: Where is she?
Blair: She's inside but they won't let us talk to her.
Chuck: We'll see about that.
Nate: You called him?
Blair: Of course I did. He's her brother.
You have nothing to worry about with Chuck anymore.
Nate: Did he tell you that?
Blair: He gave me my answer. And you deserve yours. I don't think we should move in together.
Nate: Me neither.
Blair: Then why—
Nate: I'm sorry, I was just using the apartment to force our issues and it's just too big of a step. I'm sorry.
Blair: Well perhaps a more suitable step would be for you to ask me to prom.