Serena: Mom, I saw her myself. She's fine. I promise.
Lily: Well that's not for you to decide. Carol is her mother and I'm not going to participate in deceiving her.

Rufus: I just got the call. You are officially a free woman.
Lily: Oh my god, Rufus. Is this for real?
Rufus: One hundred percent. Your ankle monitor was deactivated an hour ago.

Lily: I was so excited to have my freedom back, I didn't think about what it would actually be like when it happened.

Dan: Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for coming.
Serena: I only have five minutes.
Blair: This better be really important.
Nate: What is this all about?
Lily: Is everything all right?
Charlie: This isn't about me, right?
Rufus: Yeah. What's going on, Dan?
Chuck: This is going to be fun.

Nate: What's so funny?
Lily: I think you should ask Dan.
Dan: Well I might have made your character a little...
Chuck: Gay.

Chuck: Seems like I'm always off on my own.
Lily: I thought you liked it that way.
Chuck: I don't want to be the unrepentant bad boy, who no one cares lives or dies.
Lily: It's just a book, Charles.
Chuck: What if it isn't?
Lily: There are people who care so deeply about you, if you would just let them.
Chuck: Blair is lost to me.
Lily: I know. I'm sorry.

Rufus: I'll make dinner tonight and we can hear all about your first day.
Lily: You don't want to go to the break fast at the Waldorf's?
Rufus: Not really in the mood.
Lily: Oh. Isn't that ironic. The state lifts my house arrest and you lock yourself up.

Lily: You know the only way you're going to get out of this funk is to sit down and listen to what he has to say.
Rufus: I'm not ready yet.

Lily: An evening of friends and kugel is just what we need.

Rufus: Since I'm feeling a little raw on the family front, if Eleanor refers to you as Lily Bass again I can't promise I won't return fire.
Lily: I dragged you here, and you have my full blessing to go Sean Penn if need be.

Lily: Well I bet you never thought you'd hear such good parenting advice from Blair Waldorf.
Rufus: It's time to let my anger go and return Dan's calls. I mean if he didn't piss me off it would just mean he wasn't growing up.
Lily: That is the Rufus Humphrey that I love.

Lily: Charlie, Serena. Care to join us for a 2011 version of a family breakfast?

Lily: What's going on? Is Dan okay?
Rufus: I'm not sure. That was his agent Alessandra. She said he missed his book signing in Boston yesterday and he didn't check into Burlington either. She can't find him anywhere.

Rufus: I know Dan. It's not like him to skip out on an obligation.
Lily: And I know you. What time would you like to leave for Boston?
Rufus: The Morris Miner's in the parking lot in Brooklyn. It'll be faster to drive.

Dan: "As for number two, in high school D. got left off the list because no one knew who he was. Now it's because they know too well. Looks like Lonely Boy needs to change his name to Banished Boy." {Lily and Rufus laugh} Really, guys? Thank you for the support.
Lily: Well listen, I mean at least they're still talking about you. If they weren't I'd start worrying.
Dan: Well that might happen soon since Inside is off the bestsellers list.

Charlie: Isn't it a little mean that you and all of Blair's friends are messing with her about tonight?
Lily: Well it might be the only event in Blair's life where she's not in control.

Charlie: I've never seen so much lamé before. Grandma actually wore this?
Lily: Yes. And looked fabulous riding in on an elephant in it. Which is why the Studio 54 anniversary party is in her honor. And Bianca Jagger's, but we won't mention that to her when she arrives.
Cece Rhodes: Bianca was a striver. She could never outshine me no matter how little she wore.

Lily: Rufus and I have a small gift for you.
Rufus: Opening night, I tracked it down for you.
Cece: How surprisingly thoughtful. If I had any memory of that night I'm sure it would be fond.

Lily: Just because Carol made a mockery of her own debut does not mean Charlie should be cheated out of the experience.
Rufus: Yeah, she hired Karen Finley to go in her place and when Carol's name was called, Karen walks out wearing nothing but chocolate and a pillbox hat.
Lily: Now I'm a Karen Finley fan, but it was a bit much. We were barred from the Plaza for years.

Charlie: It's way too generous. Especially after everything I put you guys through with Max.
Lily: Oh please. That was not your fault. That young man had a lot of problems.
Dan: Hm. No wonder Serena was so into him.

Lily: I'm always here for you. No matter how ugly or dark your feelings may be, you should not have to bear them alone.
Chuck: I appreciate it, Lily, but you have no idea what you'd be taking on.
Lily: Are you kidding? Of course I do. Try as you might, you don't scare me. I'm sorry to inform you that my love for you is unconditional.
Chuck: The idea of unconditional love is as quaint as the Tooth Fairy or environmentally-friendly drycleaning.
Lily: Not when you're a parent. Look you might only be my son by marriage, Charles, but I've always loved you as my own. And I hope you get the opportunity to feel that with someone some day.

Lily: I just spoke to the doctor and the good news is Blair is awake and responsive.
Rufus: And Chuck?

Lily: I hoped that Charlie might surprise us with a visit. Or at least a call.
Rufus: She made it pretty clear that life on the Upper East Side was too much for her.
Lily: Well I can understand. With the press at her party and the paparazzi chasing Charles and Blair. But we were so close. I just wish she had said goodbye.

Lily: It's not every day you get to see your face on a taxicab.

Lily: When Rufus said he saw you I knew it must be true.
Rufus: Crashing one wedding wasn't enough for you?
Georgina: I didn't crash, I was invited. My invitation just got lost in the mail. I do live in Brooklyn now, after all. I mean it's practically the Falklands.

Bart: Deceiving you was the only way to keep you and Chuck safe.
Lily: If I had known maybe we could have done things differently.
Bart: You mean you would have come with me? Please. You were getting ready to leave me for Rufus.
Lily: I'm sorry for that. I should have had more respect for our marriage. What about Charles? I mean his thinking you were dead was hell for him.
Bart: He got through it though. With your help. He told me about the adoption, Lily. I owe you everything for that.
Lily: Charles is family. And even with you back he's mine too.

Lily: How dare you have annulment papers drawn up behind my back.
Rufus: I tried to call you, you didn't answer. I wanted to give us a chance to work things out before Bart started causing problems.
Lily: Our problems long pre-date Bart's return. You haven't spoken to me in weeks. You've had no interest in working on our marriage until you saw this as a competition with him.

Lily: Well at least an annulment will be better than a messy divorce.
Rufus: Are you sure about this?
Lily: I can only have one marriage. This just isn't one anymore.