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Gossip Girl Quotes

Quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester)

Season One

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Specials

Blairto Dan: What are you doing here? Do I smell pork? And... cheese?

Serena: Look, I'm really sorry but this date is unbreakable. Maybe we can swing by later or something. I—
Blair: I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination.

Blair: Well, that's nice. Because this is gin.

Intake Nurse: What drugs have you been taking?
Blair: Mm... caffeine. Nicotine. Ketamine. GHB. PCP. LSD. Dir- Diazepam. Lorazepam. All the pams, really. I don't discriminate.
Intake Nurse: Apparently not.

Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act it never happened. Thank god. Sorry. Truthfully I'm not even Catholic.
Priest: You don't say.

Blair: Chuck. You know that I adore all of God’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire. But, those butterflies? Have got to be murdered.

Chuck: 12:01. I'm sorry.
Blair: No. You're smarmy. There's a difference.

Operator: Information. City and State please.
Blair: Brooklyn. I think it's in New York.

Blair: Lucky for us mental acuity and common sense rarely come in the same package.

Blair: My my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes.
Jenny: I came to tell you in person: you win.
Blair: Sweetie, we just started to play.

Blair: You can tell us anything. We don't judge. We're the non-judging Breakfast Club. We're your best friends. Anything you do is something we did too.

Blair: Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here. Have fun at reform school.

Blair: Damn that Motherchucker!

Catherine: Blair, have you seen Nate?
Blair: Um, no. It's a blackout.

Blair: I'm sick of always looking like Darth Vader next to Sunshine Barbie.

Dan: You need help getting Chuck to sleep with you? Really?
Blair: You hear the judgment in his voice right now, right?
Serena: He's working on that.

Blair: Oh my god. Stop your mouth from moving.

Serena: Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.
Blair: Serena! A guy starts out in his Blue Period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time before he's all into Cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.

Blair: Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist. Help me.
Cyrus: You don't need help. He just needs time. He hugs her.
Blair: Wait, not enough. She hugs him tighter

Serena: Hey, did Jack ever find Chuck?
Blair: Yeah. What was left of him. I'm surprised they made it through customs. Chuck's body odor could have given a contact high to half of Manhattan.

Jack: Chuck!
Blair: No! You idiot! You don't surprise someone standing off the edge of a building!

Serena: I know that look. You're up to no good.
Blair: Good is subjective. Look it up.

Blair: NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair.

Blair: How's the foreigner?
Serena: Blair, Gabriel's from North Carolina. That's in the United States.
Blair: Not by choice. Let me remind you of a little thing called the Civil War.

Serena: Thank you so much for... for bringing Nate?
Blair: I'm just as flummoxed as you are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it but he's faster than he looks.

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