Gossip Girl: Why'd she leave? Why'd she return? Send me all the deets. And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. The only one. XOXO. Gossip Girl.

Chuck: I love it when you talk dirty.
Serena: You just love it when a girl talks to you.
Chuck: Actually I prefer it when they're not talking.
Serena: Hm. I've missed your witty banter.

Dan: She's best friends with this girl, Blair Waldorf. Who is basically everything I hate about the Upper East Side distilled into one 95-pound, doe-eyed, bon mot tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil.

Serena: Look, I'm really sorry but this date is unbreakable. Maybe we can swing by later or something. I—
Blair: I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination.

Rufus: Since when were you the patron saint of former rock stars?
Lily: Since when were you a star?

Blair: Isn't there someone else you could torture?
Chuck: Probably. But I choose you.

Serena; Okay, let's get one thing straight. Our parents may be insisting on blending our households, but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
Chuck: Then I suggest you get new hand towels.

Blair: Marcus dated the descendant of Princess Grace. His consort needs to be able to host royal dinners and hobnob with oligarchs and dictators.
Serena: Well if you can't find common ground with a dictator I don't know who can.

Serena: Who are we kidding? What do you say we just forget about thinking and follow our hearts.
Dan: You sure it's your heart you're following?

Dan: Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle? And "beer before liquor". How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me.

Chuck: I wonder what lucky school will be the subject of the next nursery rhyme penned by Brooklyn's lamest fiction writer.
Dan: Actually, Chuck, I think the Dean of Admissions at Yale will actually appreciate my ability to write about damaged characters.

Blair: Of all the things—Nate, my mom, the girls at school—you wouldn't take this from me. Because if you do, I swear I will take you down.
Serena: I'm not taking anything from you, Blair. I was invited. And as for taking me down. I'd love to see you try.

Chuck: We're inevitable, Waldorf.
Blair: Despite whatever vestigial attraction my body may feel for you, my brain knows better. And yours should too.

Vanessa: Hey. I overheard the end of that conversation. And, I'm sorry. I don't know your dad. But from what I saw today you deserve better.
Chuck: You say that. You don't really know me. My father on the other hand has lifetime experience. He makes some good points.

Blair: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight.
Cyrus: I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor's daughter is never going to result in a victory.
Blair: So you retreated with dignity.
Cyrus: Who says I gave up?

Blair: Even though Daddy isn't coming, I'm determined to have the perfect Thanksgiving I didn't get last year. You're still going to help me make his famous pie tomorrow.
Serena: Yeah, but I can only stay for a couple of hours. Aaron is coming to meet my family before Thanksgiving dinner.

Rufus: I have a right to know my son.
Lily: And he has a right to his own life. Just like you've had yours.

Jack: Chuck, this letter represents your father's final words.
Blair: Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it.
Nate: Yeah, aren't you curious to know what it says?
Chuck: I think I can guess. "You're a disappointment of a son." "I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already." "Why do you wear so much purple."

Blair: Do you know how exhausting it's been being Blair Waldorf for the past 18 years. All the work, the planning.
Serena: You mean the plotting?
Blair: Yes. I'm glad it blew up in my face. It was a wakeup call. I was such an overachiever I was headed for a quarter life crisis at 18.

Blair: Summer was great. We had a lot of fun. Summer's over.

Blair: I can't rule the NYU masses from the Upper East Side. I need to spend time in the dorm to establish myself as queen.
Chuck: It's not Constance, Blair. The only queens are the ones with tickets to see Liza at Carnegie Hall.

Rufus: If you and Eric will let me, I'd really like to be more to you than Lily's most recent husband. Let me help you with this.
Serena: Wow. I, uh, I would really appreciate that Rufus.

Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass. And I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You'd really insult me like this?

Dan: I dated Serena for over a year. And if you want to make things work you're going to have to be able come up for air. Which is really not her favorite thing to do.

Blair: Chuck called?
Nate: No. I mean yeah, he called. But he was just wanting me to put his phone in his briefcase so he didn't forget it.
Blair: Oh god, I miss that.
Nate: What?
Blair: Dating someone who's a horrible liar. It's so much easier.

Blair: The only reason you're giving it is so you can spend time with me. You know weddings are my weakness.
Chuck: Really? It never occurred to me.
Blair: Everything occurs to you, Chuck.

Blair: You twisted, manipulative psychopath! How could you?
Chuck: You're going to have to be a tad more specific. It's been a busy few days.

Serena: Blair what are you doing? We said we wouldn't check Gossip Girl all summer.
Blair: Summer's almost over.

Rufus: Why do you have Chuck's travel itinerary, bank statements and credit card bills?
Lily: Because I'm afraid he might be in trouble.

Chuck: I'm sorry for what happened with Jenny. She was in a bad place; I could have helped her, instead I just used her pain for my own self-destruction.
Lily: Thank you for the apology. And welcome home. Please don't disappear again.

Serena: Okay fine. You know what? I will stay away from Nate and Dan. But you have to stay away from Chuck and Eva. No plotting. No meddling. No Blair Waldorfing.

Dorota: Happy to have you home, Miss. Eleanor.
Eleanor: You didn't think I would miss throwing my only child a 20th birthday party.
Blair: Mother you do know that my actual birthday isn't until next week, don't you?
Eleanor: Twenty-three hours of labor, I am not likely to forget.

Eric: Do we have relatives I don't know about?
Rufus: It's always a possibility. Your mother wanted to pull out all the stops this year.
Eric: So this is about denial.

Dan: So. Juliet dressed up like Serena at Saints & Sinners to destroy her relationships with me and Nate.
Blair: And enlist Vanessa and Jenny to mess with me.
Dan: Which is devious and pathetic, but let's face it, around here it's just another Saturday night .
Blair: Well you can't show up at a masked ball and not expect at least one social climbing doppelganger to try and impersonate you.

Lily: Well, I hope hosting this brunch proves to you once and for all I have the company's best interests at heart.
Chuck: And also elegantly forces the enemy to come to you.
Lily: Yes. Sun-Tzu is right beside Emily Post on my bookshelf.

Gossip Girl: Coming Soon