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Serenity (Part 1 & 2)

Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion): Hey, listen to me. Bendis, look at me! Listen. We’re holding this valley no matter what.
Bendis: We’re gonna die.
Mal: We’re not going to die. We can't die, Bendis. And you know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

Aboard the Alliance Cruiser: I.A.V. “Dortmunder”
Captain: It's a transport ship. Firefly class.
Crew member: They still make those?
Captain: Illegal salvage. Low-life vultures picking the flesh off the dead.

Jayne: Any one you walk away from, right? Long as we got the goods, I call this a win.
Mal: Right. We win.

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The Train Job

Lund: Hey! You gonna drink to the Alliance with me? Six years ago today, the Alliance sent the Browncoats runnin', pissing their pants. You know, your coat is kind of a brownish color.
Mal: It was on sale.

Mal: This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers.
Zoe: Thanks for the reenactment, sir.

Mal: Take us out of the world, Wash. We got us some crime to be done.

Book: Captain. How's the girl?
Mal: Still a little whimsical in the brain pan. Seems calm enough though.

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Zoe about the goods on the abandoned ship: Sir, even on a lifeboat, you'd think those that escaped would find room for this.
Mal: Nobody escaped.
Zoe: Sir?
Mal: Nobody.

Book: I believe there's a power greater than that, a power that heals.
Mal: Reavers might take issue with that philosophy. If they had a philosophy. If they weren't too busy gnawing on your insides.

Alliance Guy: Looks to me like an illegal salvage operation.
Mal: It does? That's disturbing.

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Mal: You might oughta clear out before too much longer. Seems there's a thief about.
Inara: A thief?
Mal pulls out a wallet: Took this right off him. And he earned that with the sweat of his slave-trading brow.
Inara: Mal!
Mal: Oh, terrible shame. Of course they won't discover it 'til they go to order their next round of drinks. he gets grabbed from behind. Good drinker, that one.

Wash: Well, I've been sane too long anyway.

Badger: Captain Reynolds. I heard you was in town. I thought we might have a bit of a sit down.
Mal: I'd prefer a bit of a piss off.
Badger: I'm very sorry. Did I give you the impression I was asking?

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Zoe: Next time we smuggle livestock let's make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market beagles.

Simon: What's going on? What are you doing?
Mal: I'm fixing to do some business. I can't be herding these steers and your sister too.
Simon: She didn't mean any harm.
Mal: Well I never figured she did. But when a man engages in clandestine dealings, he has his preference for things going smooth. She makes things not be smooth.
Simon: Right. I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your carefully concealed cows.

Mal: Well look at this. Seems we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.

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Our Mrs. Reynolds

Mal: Well I think I was pretty clear. What are you doing on my boat?
Saffron: You know I am bequeathed to you.
Mal: To what by who?
Saffron: Did Elder Gommen not tell you?
Mal: Tell me what? Who are you?
Saffron: Mr. Reynolds, sir. I'm your wife.

Jayne to Mal: You got a wife? How come I only got that dumbass stick 'sounds like it's raining?

Zoe: Really think you're the one to talk to her, sir.
Mal: The way I see it me and her got one thing in common. We're the only one's that don't think this is funny.

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Mal: Jayne?
Jayne: Yeah?
Mal: You wanna tell me why there's a statue of you here lookin' like I owe him something?
Jayne: Wishin' I could, Captain.

Wash about Jayne's statue: I think they captured him though. Captured his essence.
Kaylee: Looks sorta angry, don't he?
Wash: Kinda what I meant.

Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero.

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Out of Gas

Mal: Ship like this will be with you 'til the day you die.
Zoe: That's 'cause it's a death trap.

Simon: I always thought the name "Serenity" had a vaguely funereal sound to it.

River: "Don't be afraid". That's what it says, "Don't be afraid."
Book: Yes.
River: But you are afraid.
Book: Yes.
River: You're afraid we're going to die gasping. But we won't. That's not going to happen... We'll freeze to death first.

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Mal: When I took you and you sister in, the deal was you keep her in check. You can't hold up your end, we're gonna have to revisit the deal.... She's getting worse, isn't she?
Simon: Yes.

Simon: If I didn't know better, I'd say you were ready to save some lives.
Mal: Now all we need are a couple of patients.
Simon: Corpses actually. For this to work, River and I will have to be dead.
Jayne: I'm starting to like this plan.

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War Stories

Book: A government is a body of people usually—notably—ungoverned.
Simon: Now you're sounding like the captain.

Mal: Okay, I'm lost. I'm angry. And I'm armed.

Wash: I'm the one she swore to love, honor, and obey.
Mal: Listen— She swore to obey?
Wash: Well no.

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Mal: You and lipstick are a dangerous combination if I recall.

Saffron: Oh yeah. just like old times.
Mal: We don't have any old times. I just don't want you pullin' a pistol out of... anywhere.
Saffron: You missed a spot.
Mal: Can't miss a place you never been.

Wash: I'm confused.
Saffron: You're asking yourself, if I've got the security codes why don't I go in and grab it for myself.
Wash: No. Actually. I was wondering, What's she doing on this ship? Didn't she try to kill us?!
Saffron: Please. Nobody died last time.
Wash: We're in space! How did she get here?
Mal: She hid.
Wash: I don't recall pulling over!

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The Message

Simon: This may come as a shock but I'm actually not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why? Is there someone you are good at talking to?

River: My food is problematic.
Jayne: The girl's a mind reading genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice planet.

Jayne about his hat: How's it sit? Pretty cutting, don't you think?

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Heart of Gold

Burgess: I'm here for what's mine.
Nandi: Ain't nothing here belongs to you. You don't get gone we'll be well within our rights to drop you.
Burgess: The rights you got are the ones I give you.

Mal: You know not altogether wise, sneakin' up on a fella when he's handling his weapon.
Inara: I'm sure I've heard that said.

Inara: It sounds like something this crew can handle. I can't guarantee they'll handle it particularly well, but—
Nandi: If they've got guns and brains at all.
Inara: They've got guns.

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Objects in Space

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next.
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot and we don't all die from it.

Jayne: Well I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking.
Inara: No one likes the idea of someone hearing what you're thinking.

Simon: Are you Alliance?
Jubal Early: Am I a lion?
Simon: What?
Jubal Early: I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well though. I have a mighty roar.
Simon: I said "Alliance."
Jubal Early: Oh I thought...
Simon: No, I was—
Jubal Early: That's weird.

Early: Your sister's becoming a real annoyance.
Simon: I feel for you.

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