Claire (Emma Cunniffe): It's just the lift, love. How many more times...
George (Jamie Oram): I don't like it.
Claire: Well what do we do with the things we don't like?
Both: Put them in the cupboard.

Alex (Daniel Mays): How is he?
Claire: He's in bed at least.
Alex: I'm worried about him. Why is he terrified all the time?
Claire: He needs help.
Alex: He's got us.
Claire: He needs a doctor!

George to himself: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters.

The Doctor gets a message on the psychic paper
The Doctor: "Please save me from the monsters." Haven't done this in awhile.
Amy: Um. Done what? What are you doing?
The Doctor: Making a house call.

Rory: No offense, Doctor—
The Doctor: Meaning the opposite.
Rory: But we could get a bus somewhere like this.
The Doctor: The exact the opposite.
Amy: Well I suppose it can't all be planets and history and stuff, Rory.
The Doctor: Yes it can. Of course it can. Planets and history and stuff, that's what we do. But not today, no. Today we're answering a cry for help from the scariest place in the universe. A child's bedroom.

Rory: "Please save me from the monsters." Who sent that?
The Doctor: That's what we're here to find out.
Amy: Sounds like something a kid would say.
The Doctor: Exactly. A scared kid. A very scared kid. So scared that somehow his cry for help got through to us. In the TARDIS.
Amy: Yeah, but you've traced it here?
The Doctor: Exactly. {the elevator arrives} Ah! Going up.

Rory: Community support. Just checking up on community... based... things.

Mrs. Rossiter (Leila Hoffman): I've already got a new hip. I'll be able to manage when I get the knees. I'll be down them stairs like Sherpa Tenzing then.
The Doctor: Can I come in?
Mrs. Rossiter: Of course not! You could be anyone.
The Doctor: I could be, but I'm not. I'm the Doctor.

Amy: We've got to find that kid.
Rory: Maybe we should let the monsters gobble him up.

Amy: Hey. Any luck?
The Doctor: Three old ladies, a traffic warden from Croatia and a man with ten cats.
Rory: What are we actually looking for?
The Doctor: Ten cats! Scared kid, remember?
Amy: I found, um, scary kids. Does that count?

Rory: Maybe it was, you know, junk mail.
Amy: What?
Rory: The message on the psychic paper. Maybe it was just nothing.

Alex: Oh! Right. That was quick.
The Doctor: Was it?
Alex: Claire said she'd phoned someone. Social Services.
The Doctor: Yes. {he looks at the psychic paper} Yes.
Alex: It's not easy, you know. Admitting your kid's got a problem.
The Doctor: You've got a problem, I've got a problem. I'm betting they're connected. I'm the Doctor. Call me Doctor. Uh, what can I call you?
Alex: I'm Alex.
The Doctor: Hello Alex. So. Tell me about George.

Mrs. Rossiter: I'm the only one who gives a monkey's around here anymore.

Alex: Ever since he was born he's been a funny kid.
The Doctor: Funny's good. We like funny, don't we?

Alex: ... And now it's got completely out of hand. I mean he's scared to death of everything.
The Doctor: Pantophobia.
Alex: What?
The Doctor: That's what it's called. Pantophobia. Not fear of pants though, if that's what you're thinking. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose. In that case... Sorry. go on.

Rory: We're dead, aren't we?
Amy: Eh?
Rory: The lift fell and we're dead.
Amy: Shut up.
Rory: We're dead. Again.
Amy: Oh shut up. Let's just find out where we are.

Rory: You know it's obvious what's happened.
Amy: Yeah? Really? Because It's not to me.
Rory: The TARDIS has gone funny again. Some time... slippy thing. You know the Doctor's back there in Eastenders Land and we're stuck here in the past. This is probably seventeen-hundred-and-something.
Amy: Yay. My favorite year.

Alex: Were you having a nightmare, son?
George: It's wasn't a nightmare. I wasn't asleep. {The Doctor appears in the door} Who are you?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
George: A Doctor! Have you come to take me away?
The Doctor: No, George. I just want to talk to you.
George: What about?
The Doctor: About the monsters.

Amy: Look at this.
Rory: Well, it's a copper pan.
Amy: No, it's not. It's wood. It's made of wood and just painted to look like copper.
Rory: That is stupid.

Amy: Hang on. {she grabs the wooden copper pan}

Alex: Maybe it was things on telly. You know?
The Doctor not listening: Right.
Alex: Scary stuff. Getting under his skin. Frightening him.
The Doctor: Mm hm.
Alex: So we stopped letting him watch.
The Doctor: Oh, you don't want to do that.

The Doctor: When I was your age—about, oo, a thousand years ago—I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics. {the tosses the Rubix Cube}. Rubbish. Must be broken. I hate those things. Better tidy it away though, eh? How 'bout in here? {George looks panicked}. No. Not in the cupboard. Why not in the cupboard, George?
Alex: It's a thing. A thing we got him doing ages back. Anything that frighten him, we put it in the cupboard. Creepy toys, scary pictures. That sort of thing.
The Doctor: And is that where the monsters go? Yeah. There's nothing to be scared of, George. It's just a cupboard.

George: Is that a tool?
The Doctor: Screwdriver. A sonic one. And other stuff.
George: Please may I see the other stuff?
The Doctor: You may. {he starts the toys moving} Huh? Pretty cool, eh!

Jim Purcell (Andy Tiernan): I'm not as daft as I look. In fact I'm not daft at all.

The Doctor: Hm? That's better. No tears from George. That's what I've heard. Go on, give us a smile. There's a brave little soldier. {to himself} Bit rusty at this. Anyway! Let's open this cupboard, eh. Oh, there's nothing to be— {his sonic screwdriver goes wild} Off the scale. Off the scale. Off the scale. But how?

Alex: So, have you got this thing open yet?
The Doctor: No! No no no no no! You don't want to do that!
Alex: Why?
The Doctor: Because George's monsters are real.

Rory: Oh, at last. {he goes to open the door} Argh!
Amy: What is it?
Rory: No door knob. Wooden pans, a massive glass eye and now no door knob.
Amy: And this clock.
Rory: What?
Amy: Look. The hands, they're painted on. {they hear a child's laughter}

Alex: You're supposed to be a professional. I'll never got him to sleep now. You're so irresponsible.
The Doctor: No, Alex. Responsible, very. Cupboard bad. Cupboard not bare. Stay away from cupboard. And there's something else, something I've missed. Something staring me in the face.

Alex: I don't care who you are or what wheels have been set in motion. We'll sort it.
The Doctor: I'm not just a professional, I'm the Doctor.
Alex: What's that supposed to mean?
The Doctor: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex. A very long way. George sent a message—a distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible—so powerful—that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire. Through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought. And a whole terrible wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes, they're old eyes. And one thing I can tell you, Alex: monsters are real.
Alex: You're not from Social Services are you?
The Doctor: First things first: you got any jammie dodgers?

Amy: It's just a dummy!
Rory: This is weird.
Amy: Yeah, says the time-travelling nurse. Yeah, um let's just leave that for now. Come on.

The Doctor: Decision: should we open the cupboard?
Alex: Wha-?
The Doctor: Should we...? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven't we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what's going on here?
Alex: Right. But you said—
The Doctor: Monsters, yeah. Well that's what I do. Breakfast, dinner and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this, is just an average day at the office for me.
Alex: Okay, yeah. You're right.
The Doctor: Or maybe we shouldn't open the cupboard.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.
Alex: We don't?
The Doctor: Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can't open the cupboard!
Alex: God no! No, we mustn't!
The Doctor: Right. That settles it.
Alex: Settles what?
The Doctor: We're gonna open the cupboard.

The Doctor: I don't understand. It has to be the cupboard. The readings from the sonic screwdriver, they were—

The Doctor: How old is George, Alex?
Alex: What? How old?
The Doctor: Yes. How old is George?
Alex: But I told you, just turned eight.
The Doctor: So you remember when he was born then.
Alex: Of course.
The Doctor: Of course you do, how could you not. You and Claire, Christmas Eve 2002. Right?
Alex: What? Yeah.
The Doctor: Couple of weeks before George was born. Tell me about the day he arrived. Must have been wonderful.
Alex: Well it was the best day of my... life.
The Doctor: You sure?
Alex: Yes.
The Doctor: You don't sound sure.
Alex: What are you trying to say?

Alex: Look, I don't like this. I told you before, I want you to go.
The Doctor: What's the matter, Alex?
Alex: I can't— Oh no. Oh, this is scary.
The Doctor: No, Alex. This is scary. Claire with baby George. Newborn, yes?
Alex: Yes.
The Doctor: Less than a month after Christmas.
Alex: So?
The Doctor: So look! Look! Claire's not pregnant.
Alex: What?
The Doctor: Not pregnant.
Alex: Well of course not. Claire can't have kids!

The Doctor: Say that again.
Alex: We tried everything. She was desperate. As much IVF as we could afford, but... Claire can't have kids. How... how can I have forgotten that?

The Doctor: Who are you, George?
Alex: It's not possible. This isn't...
The Doctor: George... {the cupboard opens up and Alex and the Doctor get pulled in}
George: Please save me from the monsters! Please save me from the monsters!

Rory: Why aren't there any lights? I miss lights. You don't even miss things 'til they're gone, do you? It's like what my Nan used to say. You'll never miss the water 'til the well runs dry.
Amy: Rory—
Rory: Except lights, I mean. Not water. Lights are great, aren't they? I mean if this place is all lit up we wouldn't be worried at all.
Amy: Rory. Panicking. A bit.
Rory: Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

Amy: I take it all back. Panic now.

Alex: We went into the cupboard. How can it be bigger in here?
The Doctor: More common than you think, actually.

The Doctor: You okay?
Alex: Where are we?
The Doctor: Obvious, isn't it?
Alex: No!
The Doctor: Doll's house. We're inside the doll's house.
Alex: The doll's house?
The Doctor: Yeah, in the cupboard in your flat. The doll's house.
Alex: No look. Slow down, would you?
The Doctor: Look. Wooden chicken. Cup, saucers, plates, knives, forks. Fruit. Chicken's wood. So. We're either inside the doll's house or this is a refuge for dirty posh people who eat wooden food. Or termites. Giant termites trying to get on The Property Ladder. No, That's possible. Is that possible?

The Doctor: So. Claire can't have kids and something responded to that. Responded to that need. What could do that?
Alex: Well I thought you were the expert, fighting monsters all day long. You tell me!
The Doctor: Oy! Listen, [?]. Old eyes, remember, I've been around the block a few times. More than a few. They've knocked down the blocks I've been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks! I've been around them as well. I can't remember everything. Like trying to remember the name of someone you met at a party when you were two.

The Doctor: What do you tell George to do, Alex, with everything that scares him?
Alex: Put it in the cupboard.
The Doctor: Exactly! And George isn't just an ordinary little boy. We know that now.

Alex: Gun! You've got a gun!
The Doctor: It's not a gun! {he tries the screwdriver again} Wood! I've got to invent a setting for wood. It's embarrassing.

The Doctor: Massive psychic field, perfect perception filter. And that need! That need of Claire's to, to... stupid Doctor! {hits himself} Ow! George is a Tenza. Of course he is.
Alex: He's a what?
The Doctor: A cuckoo. A cuckoo in a nest. A Tenza. He's a Tenza. Millions of them hatch in space and then—woof—off they drift, looking for a nest. The Tenza young can sense exactly what their foster parents want and then they assimilate perfectly.
Alex: George is an alien?
The Doctor: Yep!

The Doctor: George you created this whole world. This whole thing. You can smash it. You can destroy it. {George shakes his head} Something's holding him back.

Alex: But how can we keep him? He's not...
The Doctor: Not what?
Alex: Human.
The Doctor: No.
George: Dad!

Alex: Whatever you are, whatever you do, you're my son. And I will never ever send you away. Oh George. Oh my little boy.
George: Dad.
Alex: My little boy.

The Doctor: Oh! You're Claire I'd expect. Claire. How do you feel about kippers?
Claire: Uh... Who—
Alex: They sent someone. About George. It's all sorted.
The Doctor: Yeah. We had a great time, didn't we?
George: Yeah!
The Doctor: See? He's fine.
Claire: What, just like that?
The Doctor: Yes. Trust me.

Alex: Doctor, wait!
The Doctor: Sorry, yes! Bye!
Alex: You can't just— I mean.
The Doctor: It's sorted. You sorted it. Good man, Alex. I'm proud of ya.
Alex: But that's it?
The Doctor: Well apart from making sure he eats his greens and getting him into a good school. Yes.
Alex: Is he gonna, I don't know, sprout another head. Or three eyes or something?
The Doctor: He's one of the Tenza. He'll adapt perfectly now. {sees George} Hey! He'll be whatever you want him to be. Might pop back around puberty, mind you! Always a funny time.

The Doctor: Come on, you two. Things to do. People to see. Whole civilizations to save. You feeling okay?
Amy: Um, I think so.
The Doctor: And it's good to be all back together again. In the flesh.

The Doctor: Now, did someone mention something about planets and history and stuff?
Rory: Yeah.
The Doctor: Where do you want to go?
Amy: Um...
The Doctor: Mind's gone blank.
Amy: Well I have just been turned into a wooden dolly.
The Doctor: Excuses excuses.
Rory: It's tough though. It's like you're given three wishes. The whole universe?
The Doctor: Universes. Oo! Three wishes and a []. How about that?

(From @Markgatiss)

Tick tock goes the clock
And what now shall we play?
Tick tock goes the clock
Now summer's gone away?

Tick tock goes the clock
And what then shall we see?
Tick tock until the day
That thou shalt marry me

Tick tock goes the clock
And all the years they fly
Tick tock and all too soon
You and I must die

Tick tock goes the clock
He cradled her and he rocked her
Tick tock goes the clock
Even for the Doctor.