LISA SIMPSON QUOTES
Lisa: Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.
Lisa: I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is He's more powerful than Mom and Dad
put together.
Lisa checking the card catalog: Let's see... Football... Football... "Homoeroticism in"... "Oddball
Canadian rules"... "Phyllis George and"...
Homer: Who's going to win today?
Lisa: The Sea Hawks because they have something to prove, the 49ers because they are pure of heart and the Raiders because
they always cheat.
Lisa: "List your three favorite books and how they have influenced your life."
Homer: Is TV Guide a book?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Son of Sniglet?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Katharine Hepburn's Me?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Oh, I suck!
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase.
Homer breaks lamp: D'oh!
Bart: Aye Carumba!
Marge: Hmmm.
Flanders: Heidely-ho.
Barney: burps
Nelson: Ha ha!
Burns: Ex-cellent!
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Marge: Ooh, Lisa! Is that too spicy for you?
Lisa: I can see through time!
Homer: You can't be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I'm using a... Apu, what do you call this thing again?
Apu: A napkin.
Homer: Outrageous!
Lisa: Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold
off piece by piece.
Mr. Burns: I'll be taking my puppies back.
Lisa: But they're ours, you stole them from us!
Mr. Burns hands her a cell phone: Here's a phone. Call somebody who cares.
Lisa dials 9-1—
Mr. Burns: Give me that!
Lisa: Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul."
Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
Homer: So I realized that being with my family is more important
than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square."
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried
everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to
be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?
Lisa: May I have that seat?
Comic Book Guy: Yes! If you can answer me these questions three. Question the first!—
Lisa: Never mind.
Homer: Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai Alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called "News Corp"—
Lisa: Dad, that's FOX!
Homer: Undo! Undo!
Lisa: Mom! Dad's on PBS!
Marge: Mmm. They don't show police chases, do they?
Lisa and Bart: Augh! It's Sideshow Bob!
Sideshow Bob: Oh Bart, we've been through so much together. Just call me Bob.
Lisa and Bart: Augh! It's Bob!
Marge: I can't count how many time's your father has done something crazy.
Lisa: looking at ticker It's 300, Mom!
Marge: I could've sworn it was 302.
Lisa: Shhh!
Lisa walking past cats in the pound: Too fluffy... too scrawny... too needy... too arrogant... eye
infection... stops. Clearly a skunk.
Lisa: To save money on a new dish, we'll call you Snowball II and just pretend this whole thing never happened.
Skinner walking past: That's really a cheat, isn't it?
Lisa: Maybe. Principal Tanzarian.
Skinner: Uh, I'll be moving along then. Lisa... Snowball II.
Lisa: Let's make out with boys! Binge and purge! Rock and roll!
Lisa: If dad ever reads that book he's gonna be so humiliated!
Bart: He'll never read it.
Lisa: What if they make it into a movie?
Bart: He'll never see it.
Lisa: What if they parody it on "MadTV"?
Bart: We're doomed!
Bart: Wicca's a Hollywood fad.
Lisa: Thats Kaballah, you jerk.
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR
Lucy Lawless: I'll take you home.
Lucy flies, carrying Bart and Lisa.
Lisa: Hey, Xena can't fly!
Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.
Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied... Or implode?
