Quotes from Stargate SG-1

Dr. Daniel Jackson (Michael Shanks)

SEASON ONE

O'Neill: No, she tried to seduce me.
Daniel Jackson: Oh. pause You poor man.

Carter: Are you crazy? It's a paradise.
Jackson: Yeah, sure, have an apple. What could happen?

Jackson: This tastes like chicken.
Carter: So what's wrong with it?
Jackson: It's macaroni and cheese.

SEASON TWO

Jackson: This is the Hall of Might?
Gairwyn: You were expecting something different?
Jackson: Well, uh... maybe a hall.

Hiding in a storage closet
Jackson: I won't lie to you. There is a problem. We have to find Jack.
Tonané: Okay. He's not in here.

O'Neill: How do I know you're really Daniel?
Jackson: Because.
O'Neill: Yeah, okay.

O'Neill: All right, describe for me the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.
Jackson: I don't have a sister, Jack, and if I did, I wouldn't let you near her.

An officer asks them in Russian if they're spies.
Jackson: Nyet.
O'Neill: Daniel!
Jackson: He just asked if we were Soviet spies and— realizes the problem
Guard: Come with me.
O'Neill: on the way out: Nyet?

SEASON THREE

Jackson: No no no no! Nick! Nick, I'm real! I'm real! You're not hallucinating!
Nicholas Ballard: Hallucinations always say that.

SEASON FOUR

O'Neill: What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?
Jackson: Uh... I do.

Markov: The sub is Swiss.
Jackson: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time. pause Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.

Jackson: This is a radio. It's so my friends can find me, and shoot you.

Unas refusing food: Ka!
Jackson: Now don't say Ka until you've tried it.

Jackson: Mak tal shree! Lok tak. Mekta satak Oz! Mok tal Oz kree!
Jackson: I don't think they bought my act.
Jacob: Why? Who'd you say you were?
Jackson: The... ah... Great and Powerful Oz.

Colonel Simmons: Need I remind you, Dr. Jackson, of the dangers that we're trying to defend Earth against?
Jackson: Oh, could you? I mean, go slow.

SEASON FIVE

Carter: If it comes right down to it, we can detonate it right here. What's our position?
Jackson: Well, personally, I'm against it. But if you want to know where the ship is, we're about five meters above the surface at the bottom of the crater.

Kershaw: I feel better just knowing there's an archaeologist watching our backs.
Jackson: Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?

SEASON SEVEN

Quinn: Well, can't you do some kind of a... keyword search?
Jackson: For what? "Achilles"?
Quinn: Well, that's good. I'm glad to see that your memory's finally coming back. Not to mention your razor-sharp wit.

O'Neill: What's your situation?
Jackson: I'm hiding. What's yours?

Jackson: Okay, well... There's no easy way to tell you this so... Sam's just gonna come right out and say it.
Sam gives him a look.
Carter: Well, sir... as you know, the Asgard depend on cloning technology...
Young O'Neill: Oh, for cryin' out loud...
Teal'c: You have been cloned, O'Neill.

SEASON EIGHT

Jackson: Hmm...Deja vu.
Teal'c: I do not understand your meaning.
Jackson: Oh, it means, uh I feel like I've been here before.
Teal'c: Then you are correct Dr. Jackson, we were previously on this planet not too long ago.
Jackson: Right. What was I thinking.

Jackson: Teal'c, I know it isn't your strongest suit, but this is not the time for jokes.

Jackson: What's this?
Carter: This is [ethylpropyl-something].
Jackson: Which is?
Carter: Nerve gas.
Jackson: Okay. Putting that back.

O'Neill: Nice ride.
Jackson: Yeah, Ancients like to fly in style.

Jackson: Your English is excellent.
Russian Captain: Thank you. Do you speak Russian?
Jackson in Russian: I'm conversational. I think I can get by.
Russian Captain: We'll stick to English then.

Joe: Dr. Jackson, can I just say, thank goodness you're back. Not that Jonas was a bad guy, but after all you've been through together you belong here with SG-1.
Jackson: Thank you. Jack?
O'Neill: He's a barber.
Jackson: Broke into your house?
O'Neill: Yeah.
Jackson: Second week in a row.
O'Neill: Mm hm.
Jackson: Alarm.
O'Neill: I'm thinking dog.
Joe: You could try locking your front door.

Oma: Order what you want.
Jackson: Okay, I'll have the truth with a side order of clarity, please.

SEASON NINE

Mitchell: Merlin. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table Merlin?
Jackson: Yes.
Mitchell: Was an ancient.
Jackson: I think so.
Mitchell to Teal'c: See! That is what I'm talking about!

Jackson to Vala: I'm sure if there's a monster down here it'll be much more scared of you than you are of it. Especially once it gets to know you.

Jackson: Isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the [?]. So we can meet new races, gather advanced technology, possibly learn about ourselves in the process.
Vala: Oh c'mon. You do it to meet women.
Mitchell: She has a point, sir.

Jackson: What the hell are you doing here?
O'Neill: Well. Nice to see you too.

Jackson: I wouldn't say this to anyone else, but for the first time, I'm scared.
O'Neill: I'm hungry.

Jackson: Just try to be—
Vala: What? My charming self?
Jackson: A little less talk, a little more shut the hell up.

Mitchell: Symtoms may include: dizziness, irritability—
Jackson: Nausea—
Mitchell: Mild nausea. And a condition known as "hot dog fingers."

Carter: How's it going?
Mitchell: I don't think diplomacy's my thing.
Jackson: Oh. That's what you're doing.

Jackson: Colonel Mitchell was assaulted. His memories were manipulated against his will, and an innocent woman was murdered. Now I've only worked with the guy a short period of time, but I'm pretty sure he's not gonna let this one go.

Landry: I read your report. Not sure I've seen language like that used in an official Air Force document before.
Jackson: Sorry about that, sir.
Landry: You should see what Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson wrote.

Carter: As we discussed the situation we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window. Specifically the interim journey between the two gates.
Mitchell: Did she just say "we"?
Carter: Pardon me?
Jackson: She said "we". You said "we"?
Carter: Ah, me and... myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Mitchell: Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?
Carter: Yep.

Jackson: I miss Thor.

Black Uniform Jackson: Wouldn't it have been easier just to zat him?
Black Uniform Teal'c: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Black Uniform Mitchell: Did he just insult me?

Nadal about the power loss: Your people have done this.
Jackson: I hope so.

SEASON TEN

Vala: You know, I never thought I'd agree with my father but now I'm starting to remember about how he used to go about, you nurture them, and you raise them, and you teach them the best that you can, and then all they do is break your heart. I always assumed that his experience was just tainted by me.
Jackson: What are you talking about?
Vala: Wow. She started off all sweet and innocent and now she's hellbent on domination of the galaxy.
Jackson: What? How old is she?
Vala: A few hours. The Ori used me to sneak one of their own over the border.

Jackson: This is bad.
Vala: You're telling me. Origin is about to become much more appealing to the males of this galaxy.

Vala is off to use Jackson's computer to study for her psych test
Jackson: I said no. And you can't access it without my password!
Vala: Already got it, thanks!

Jackson: You're making a big mistake. More Ori ships will be here soon.
Jaffa: Then they will suffer the same fate.
Adria offscreen: I think not. uses telekinetic powers to strangle the Jaffa
Vala: Adria?
Adria: Hello, Mother.

Bra'tac: She displays the wisdom of a battle-seasoned warrior.
Jackson: She's a mother. Close enough.

Jackson: Dinner tonight is my way of saying Thank you. Thank you for proving me right when I said we could take a chance on you.
Vala: I don't know what to say.
Jackson: Just say what you were going to say before I interrupted.
Vala: Okay. I need to use the bathroom.

Carter: A member of this facility gets kidnapped unchallenged. It's no wonder he doesn't think we can protect him.
Jackson: But we can protect him.
Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Mitchell: What can you say, that's the downside working for super villains.

Jackson: We should probably prepare to return fire.
Officer: For the record, I'm always prepared. I just have to press this button here.
Jackson: Right. I just, I thought that's what you're supposed to say.
Officer: I know.

Mitchell: Hey, you got anything?
Jackson: No. You?
Mitchell: No. But I'm getting a good tan.

Jackson to Adria: Well I guess I'm not as true of spirit as you thought I was.

Adria: How are you feeling?
Jackson: I don't suppose you know what a hangover feels like? ... Never mind.

Vala: Hello Gorgeous! If you're watching this you're obviosly back at Stargate Command. And you're prob thinking everyone around you has gone wonko. With the exception of Daniel who we've always thought was a little...
Jackson off screen: Vala!

Vala: So no IOA... No television program about dancing with supposed celebrities?
Jackson: Actually that part was real.
Vala: How very disturbing.
Jackson: Mm hm.
Carter: Yeah.

Mitchell: Just take it easy.
Jackson: We're not going to hurt you. Vala shoots him. Much,

UNENDING

Vala about the Asgard: Out of curiousity, how can you tell the difference?
Jackson: The voice.

Vala: I'm hearing things all the time. Are you hearing things?
Jackson: I am trying not to.

Carter: Why do you do it? Knowing everything you learn is going to die with you?
Jackson: I know you think I'm crazy... Besides, you haven't given up.
Carter: Yes I have.

Landry: Good luck, SG-1.
Mitchell: Just another mission to save the galaxy, sir.
Everyone: Indeed.
Landry: God speed.

TOP