THE SIMPSONS CELEBRITY GUEST QUOTES

Harry Shearer (Spinal Tap): We salute you, our half-inflated overlord!

The Be-Sharps perform on a building rooftop
George Harrison: It's been done.

Joey Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't—
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

Tech guy: Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? Come on people, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra... posssibly while high. Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your general direction.
Cypress Hill: Yo, did we order the London Symphony?

Homer: Yes sir, Mr Scorpion!
Hank: Don't call me that. It's Mr. Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank!

Hank Scorpio: By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Hank adjusts a giant laser
Hank Scorpio: Heh heh. Nobody ever says Italy.

Mulder: Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.
Homer: The evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Happy?

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. lie dectector blows up.

Bart: Leonard Nimoy? What are you doing here?
Leonard Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near.
Bart: Uh huh.
Hot Dog Vendor: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog?
Leonard Nimoy: Surprise me.

Homer: Is this episode going on the air live?
June Velany: No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animator's wrist.

John: It's camp! The ludicrously tragic? The tragically ludicrous?
Homer: Oh yeah. Like when a clown dies.

Homer: They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce and Lance and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had! Now they're just...
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that
word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!

Cecil: And now to kill you. There may be a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them.

Ron Howard sniffing Homer's breath: Do I smell vodka... and wheatgrass?
Homer: It's called a lawnmower, I invented it. You want one?
Ron Howard: Yeah, okay.
Kim Basinger: And I'll have a rum and zinc.

Homer is staring at Carmen Electra's chest
Carmen Electra: Homer, my face is up here.
Homer: I've made my choice.

Lisa and Bart: Augh! It's Sideshow Bob!
Sideshow Bob: Oh Bart, we've been through so much together. Just call me Bob.
Lisa and Bart: Augh! It's Bob!

Sideshow Bob: How can one ordinary man have so many enemies?
Homer: I'm a people person. Who drinks.

TREEHOUSE OF HORROR
Lucy Lawless: I'll take you home.
Lucy flies, carrying Bart and Lisa.
Lisa: Hey, Xena can't fly!
Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.