Various and Sundry Short Stories
Nightmare Roommate
These stories come from living with the most horrible person ever for two excruciatingly long years. The Butter Story is probably the best. The rest are mainly my passive aggresive way of getting revenge on her for putting me through hell.
A TRIP TO THE GROCERY STORE
Nightmare Roommate and I went grocery shopping together (first and last time) a few months after she and I moved in together.
She liked to go to a grocery store that was actually not very close to our apartment. Plus it was in a neighborhood with a diverse mix of people. Given her extreme racism, I found it an odd choice. I figured she would have disliked all that diversity.
Turns out I was right. She considerd all the people in the store "dirty" since, they couldn't speak English properly,
they clearly were stupid, and it was clear to her that they should act more like Americans.
Which amused me and pissed me off at the same time.
It amused me because NR spoke precisely one language and often had challenges with even that.
It pissed me off because a wholesale categorization of a culture is just so 1950s. And the odds were that most of the people she
considered stupid and dirty were far more intelligent than she was. Which may sound mean, but... trust me.
So we're walking around this grocery store (the store she chose to go to) and all she's doing is complaining about everyone around her. And she wasn't exactly quiet about it. I think she actually enjoyed it knowing that people could hear her insulting them.
But that wasn't even close to the kicker. Oh no. The very next words out of her mouth were, "They probably don't even know
this is a Prada bag that I'm carrying."
I paused for a moment and asked her to repeat herself. "This bag. They probably don't even realize how expensive
it is."
Okay, play along as I list just a few of the things that are troubling about this statement:
1. Most probably don't care you have a Prada bag.
2. Most probably aren't concerned about things like cheap little bags assembled by third-world country children for ten cents
and then sold at a trillion percent mark up to idiots like yourself.
3. Most would probably find it incredibly sad that your self-importance and self-worth is based on a purse you're carrying.
4. You're an idiot.
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